CdnSikhGirl

I think she'd give u a good run for your money... Might that injured your poor manhood?? Lol

Not that much!!! But wow! Go girl!!!! Let me guess u don't find her attractive at all hahahahaba

@Ragmaala I actually have thought of adoption... Or surrogate mother using both my egg and his sperm through IVF. But I don't think it's financially feasible. And we will likely try soon given our age and not much time left really. But I have made it abundantly clear I'm not going through the birth. If Canada won't allow me to do elective planned C section (which is planned I think usually the week prior to when labour would have happened) then I will go to India and have it. I made it perfectly clear I don't want to be incontinent rest of my life or have lasting problems with pelvic floor etc. And definitely would rather stitches on my abdomen than down there... However I'm still trying to see if they will do c section under general anesthetic. And if not general at least IV sedation (that causes anterograde amnesia). I'm not particularly fond of having major abdominal surgery while completely aware either... And the I'm still worried they won't give me proper pain meds for after. I was ok after this surgery only because they gave me hydromorphone afterwards for 3-4 days. Without it I would have been crying in pain every time I had to get up to go to washroom etc. I read that most pain meds get into breastmilk so if breastfeeding do you have to suffer through post op pain without anything stronger than Tylenol or Motrin?? Yes in scared to death... No matter which way I do it I will have to bear pain and post op healing. If c section is similar to cholecystectomy in pain level I'll be ok. But I'll snap of I have to do full labour with hours of agony before being ripped to pieces down there and chancing long term pelvic floor damage. I also don't feel like pooping in front of people (which I know happens in majority of times during pushing stage)... So yes I know all the horrible things which happen in labour and delivery. Lol and I'm petrified of all of them!! It a cross I guess I have to bear with no way to avoid it except insist on c section due to tokophobia and that too with either general anesthetic or IV sedation at very least. And a guarantee of adequate pain control for afterward.

Wow can u ever say anything nice about anyone? You are just so filled with hatred... With I its never look for good and bad in people it's either they 100% agree with you or they are nindaks and slime and subjected to an onslaught of verbal warfare the likes no one has seen! Btw u can stay on my block list. So anything u write after now I won't see... I have been opening your posts because I thought we could be humans. Well congrats... You win. I humbly wave the white flag there feel better?? With me out of the way you'll just try to find someone else to attack...

I took that risk... knowing it would be a 'remote' possibility. With childbirth its inevitable...and unavoidable. You can mask it with epidural or take narcotics that make you loopy so you dont care as much (which also effect the baby). Closest to avoiding it is opting for major abdominal surgery (c-section) which is not without its own risks. I'd rather the slim chances of ever sustaining battle wounds to the inevitable reality of turning my girl bits into hamburg. The POW scenario not likely... more than likely I would have drowned to death as the submarine broke up and sank...

Frightened? More like petrified of it! There is a reason I have avoided having any children up till now!

OMG thats hard on the eyes!!! LOL No it won't work because I would actually have to tell him to purposely NOT do anything that he would think I would want, and to purposely order me around. Then he would know something was wrong. He doesn't want to order me around. He values me as an actual person with equal input. He doesn't want a doormat! He would actually feel like he was degrading me if we were in that position. He wouldn't WANT me to be his subordinate. We've spoken about these things at length LONG before being married... precisely because I never wanted to marry a controlling man and completely lose myself to become someone else's servant. Having said that I care what he wants too... I just don't want to ever be in position where I have NO say and that only he does. That degrades me as a human...

Well after birth the best word probably they could use for their private parts to describe what they endured... would be "hamburger"

Trust me, women don't often verbalize what they went through to their kids or men in general. It really is a horrifying experience...

Yay for painkillers! Most likely epidural!

It still doesn't mean that birth is not painful and can not cause a lot of damage. It's excruciating.. And always was. The Christian Bible knew about such pain and couldn't explain it so wrote that it was Gods punishment to eve for eating the apple. Those early Christians saw something extememly painful they could not explain and so they put it in God. Just because of the Calibre of it!! Please don't think birth is a walk in the park!!! Animals feel pain too... I watched my dog give birth several times and she also cried out in pain. But with humans our heads have gotten so large that the trip out the birth canal is tightest fit if any mammal.!!!! It's dangerous for both the mom and baby!!! if I ever get pregnant I'm opting for elective cesarean. Yes I'll have an incision and soreness but that's minor compared to all the above. However not looking fwd to 9 months of peeing myself while puking constantly.

In the case of this one especially I think trying to pull some metaphorical spiritual meaning from it is a bit of a stretch.

Ummm it's been proven the pain associated with labour is excruciating. But something happens during labour that makes then able to get through it without passing out or going in shock (usually). And until recent history many women died during labour. It's dangerous and yes it IS the most painful thing the human body can possibly endure. The only thing remotely comparable is kidney stones (compared by women who have had both) there is a reason why women scream and beg for it to stop if they have not had pain meds. Even the birth itself can literally tear the mothers skin muscles everything from her vagina right to and even through her anus/rectum. This can cause problems urinating and with bowel movements for life. It can cause prolapsed uterus, nerve damage, rectocele, cystocele, post op pain in suture sites, infection. Birth can cuss hemmorage which can kill the mother very quickly. Even before the birth preeclampsia can be fatal.

Easy... They have no other choice. They must endure it. Still doesn't nullify all the above! My cousin just puked her way all the way through the 9 months!!! And had such bad lower back pain she was given a support belt that was supposed to relieve it a bit and redistribute the weight but it didn't work and most painkillers are off limits during pregnancy. Oh and urine incontinence IS a big one on pregnancy... It's not very talked about though so most men don't realize. Every time a prego woman coughs or sneezes guess what happens??? (From about halfway onwards in the pregnancy when the baby starts to push on her bladder)??? Yup she pees herself just a little bit each time... Think about that next time u see a prego woman cough lol

It won't work... Because he sees me as his equal he will not try to order me around anyway. We already ask each other what our thoughts are in things... He wouldn't feel comfortable making all the decisions for both of us without knowing if it's what I want too. And I already go with his decision most times simply because it's what we both want anyway. But I still have rights to refuse. Same as he does. Practically speaking we already do BOTH treat each other this way... So there is no practical way to do an experiment except to tell him not to do anything he would consider as being what I want and then he'd know something was up... He would never be able to see me as his subordinate. Same as I could never see him as my boss. Case in point we went to a restaurant in Srinagar.. A Chinese one. I wanted spring rolls, he didn't. He tried to get me to choose something different but I really wanted spring rolls. I eventually caved and told him to pick something else then. I was so hungry then that I really didn't care what he picked either... So authority was in his hands at that point. Know what he did?? Got the spring rolls... He couldn't decide on making me eat something I didn't really want. So when I gave him the 'authority' to make that decision he couldn't actually use it anyway and went with what I chose anyway. But then we also got the soup he wanted on my insistence and we split both between both of us so it worked out... :) my problem isn't with the wife necessarily treating her husband like a King (I don't like using God because no human is God) but I don't see why husbands cant also treat their wives the same way. And I don't see why authority always must be one way where wife obeys husband and never the other way around. In fact I don't think marriage should be about who barks orders and who follows.

You can have it removed at ANY time!!!!! It's literally just pull the string and it's out hahaha

Umm... until the baby comes then it's be worst pain a human could ever endure. Not to mention the weight gain, stretch marks, urine incontinence, swelling feet and ankles, lower back pain and horrible nausea and vomiting that come from pregnancy.

I can't try your experiment unless I stop intimacy with him. I can't separate work and marriage. If he is to be my "boss" then I would never be able to be naked with him again. It would kill the intimacy. I didn't get married to work under a boss... I got married to have a respectful and loving partner both ways. And using your analogy why can't the man also treat her as God??? And give her authority over him??? Hunh??? please leave what works for us... We are very happy and trust me there is no lack of respect or love in either direction. As a subordinate I would never feel fulfilled... I'd feel inadequate and weak. And like he didn't respect my skills and abilities and opinions. That all his would be what matters. Even if he said the opposite or asked me for my input the very fact that his say would be last say all the time , I'd feel like I was trapped inferior and didn't matter.

We were talking about what the likely background to this charitars is... Why a younger woman would be having sex wth an older man who she considered old and fat.

In happy with him treating me as his equal. I like to have equal authority decision making and do not consider him to be above me. I like that he respects my wishes and that he will do things I ask him to as well. And I like that we can both chose not to and know the other won't force us to 'obey' We are both human souls and equal. That doesn't mean we don't respect each other. I just don't want to be a subordinate. And I could never have sex with someone who i considered to be my boss. So for that experiment, all intimacy would have to end... Either I can consider him to be my loving partner OR a boss in authority over me.. But not both.

I used to have a Mirena. It's nothing really... You won't feel it inside you. But it contains hormone progesterone and tends to stop periods all together as long as you have it and it's inside of 5 years (after that the hormone supply gets depleted and then I can either have it removed and replaced or just taken out). As I said no periods... Means no pain... No dealing with blood.. I had it because of military. I wasn't married, nor having sex and saw no use for periods. I was sailing long deployments in submarines where it's not impossible to deal with hygiene but it can be challenging and this made it so much better. Think of it as ridding yourself of a female burden for awhile. (Only those who think our gender is a punishment would advocate that we are supposed to go through these things like bleeding and pain). They are sadistic... Only drawbacks are related to possible mild weight gain and raising blood pressure. But it will definitely mean no cramps requiring pain meds!!!

I have to disagree on the woman having control over the older man... think back to that time, women were told husbands were 'God' over them. Meaning in authority over. Meaning she would have been told her was her boos, what he said goes etc. That's a position of fear to be the one in the subordinate position. Some Indian women still are told this to this day! My guess is he could easily have 'Lorded it' over her... using threat of physical harm. And I doubt an older man could as easily have the wool pulled over his eyes as described in this story! Remember he's been around for awhile...

Gurpreet Kaur Bhenji... if you don't like pills and you aren't planning on getting married or trying for children soon, why not talk to your doc about Mirena? It's an IUD. Once they put it, the hormones are released continuously in a very small amount. It doesn't *have* to be seen as birth control if that puts you off. Think of it as regulating you. Many women stop having period altogether, and with it, the pain. A lot of pain monthly is not normal to have to endure. Right away I am thinking of endometriosis. And Mirena also stops that because no cycle = no pain. You can easily have it removed and be able to conceive shortly after as soon as you decide it's time for marriage / children.

But when this was written, arranged marriages with little or no choice were common... so it's not hard to imagine that was the situation. Ask ANY young girl if she wants to marry an ugly old fat guy who has nothing in common with her and could be her father or grandfather in age?? I would say 99.9% would be so grossed out they'd NEVER consider it. Having sex with a grandpa, when you are young is just creepy and gross. You can't get around it. That's why given the description in the story, even though it doesn't say it, it certainly intimates that she does not want to be with the old guy and never did, and so she pursued her actual love. Was the adultery still wrong? yes. I think I would have just run away or killed myself. If I was born with the will I have now... I would have run away before even marrying the old guy and my parents would never have heard from me again. My points about the Chritropakhyan though are they are written in a way which deliberately makes the woman out to be at fault and the men to be gullible fools (victims). I don't think following your heart and being with the one you love, makes her a slut. Even if she was forced into a loveless yucky marriage with a grandpa. I think they are all at fault. Grandpa should have known to never marry a younger women. Its not fair to her. The younger lover should know not to pursue someone he is not married to and she should have never agreed to marry the old fart, regardless what her parents said etc. They are all victims in a way... and it's the cultural situation which was at fault.

Maybe we should get someone from there on here, because I am sure they also do much good... Maybe a few have bad intentions about simran etc, but I can't see the organization as a whole being bad. They do a lot of charity don't they? And they have lots of literature etc. on their site. They may have a few bad points but so do all the jathas / sampradas etc... they all have positive and negatives... why can't we look at the positives only??