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Practical Ways of Controlling Ego

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Gyani jee talks about ego. Satguru jee does not like a person who keeps saying "main main" (mine mine or I I).

CD - 009............File - 707............Please listen after 19.00 min.


Bhul chuk maaf


Edited by paapiman
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As BhagatSingh has said: Observe yourself in social contexts. Find out when you act in ego - and then work with it.

a shallow but practical example: if you observe that you take great pride in your possesions and are quite cheap with money - do the opposite. Start paying for your friends food, start giving more money to the needy and give some of your items away. Thats a rough beginning for some, but from then onwards work slowly slowly with controlling it.

If you look down on certain people - befriend them actively!

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Ultimately ego is only a thought, "I thought" limited to body and mind, I thought becomes patterns of thoughts, personality beleifs system etc afterwards but if we look all of it once together ego is just a I thought, inquire/vichar whats the prior to it? You will find stateless state constant pure consciousness/awareness which is also pure gyan saroop-pure knowningness without an thought that is our real self, keep going inward to that stateless state again and again and abide there, permanent abidance in absolute state-stateless state..state which is prior to I -ego thought is our atman, permanent abidance in that state and realization of that state is destruction of ego/mind- jevan mukht/ bedah mukht avastha. 


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After pure determination and some practise it comes naturally To "be" pure awareness should come naturally, its state of being ..remember neo in the matrix at the end he had to beleive in it so much that he had to be neo, "being it"....Caterpillar does not become butterfly over night it has to "be it" in order to butterfly.



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  • 11 months later...

Gurparsaad, the tips below might help. Please do add to it.

  • Never praise yourself in front of others in anyway. For example, if you have been praised in a social event/newspaper/magazine or anywhere else, don't go around telling people about it
  • Never brag about any personal achievements (Worldly or Spiritual)
  • Try to remember some bad deeds which you have committed in the past. Now, when ego attacks you, think about those deeds and admonish yourself from clinging to those prideful thoughts
  • Forgive people easily
  • Accept your mistakes and apologize for them
  • Always hide your merits/good qualities
  • Avoid using your name as much as possible
  • Minimize the use of "I", "my" and "me" in daily conversations
  • Never humiliate anyway
  • Address others with respect
  • Greet others with respect (Namaskaar pose)
  • Never ever indulge in Slander (Ninda/Chuglee)
  • Hide other people's demerits
  • Treat your juniors (younger than you) with respect
  • Talk about the merits of other people 
  • Talk about one's demerits and strive for improvement
  • Practice self-loathing (wherever appropriate)
  • Endure insults
  • Never brag about your education/work experiences/spiritual experiences, etc
  • Minimize taking/posting photos of yourself
  • Minimize the use of mirror
  • Never divulge any appreciation, one might have received from anyone
  • Never divulge any Seva/Simran, charity work, spiritual experiences, etc
  • Keep praising Sri Satguru jee and his Saints
  • Engage in plenty of Seva
  • Above all - recite Gurbani and beg for Gareebi daan (boon of Humility)

Note: Exercise caution at workplace/during interviews/certain situations, where some amount of ego will have to be exhibited for survival purposes


Bhul chuk maaf

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The below post by Das jee might be helpful too.


"The Theory" which we all know is that the MAIN TOP-LEVEL real Ego is called Ahamkara; which provides identity to our functioning and is required in order to hold and retain our body, our individuality. Obviously this Ego operates on many subtle levels and has many different forms; Pride is the lowest kind of Ego which we do in day-to-day life. Now, again this "Pride" (lowest level of Ego) has many different forms. Back in home (India) there is a kind of proverb along the lines "Jo Aaan khanda, us de wich hume te hovege (Whosoever eats the food will have Pride)"; OR "Jo mitte da banea ha, ao ahankar te karega (Who is made of Earth/Mitti will have Pride)".

Some of us misuse the above mentioned "Theory" to prove that it is okay/natural to have Pride and is not possible to get rid of Pride unless we're at the Brahmgyan level. While some say that it is easy to control Pride. I (see ME, I) personally think that both are wrong because Yes, it is not possible to get rid of TOP-LEVEL-EGO (Ahamkara) unless we're at Brahmgyani level (crossed all the levels) and ready to merge with God. BUT at the same time we do have the capacity (read illusion because of Karma) to control our day-to-day Pride (lower level of Ego).

The main issue arises when the Ego/Ahamkara believes it is the Self.

Sant/Mahatama have mentioned the following techniques to help us with the Ego:

  1. The first and the perfect way is via Gurbani: Waheguru GurMantar Hai Jap Haumai Khoee.
  2. Do not identity the Ahamkara with your-self. A good way to cultivate the witnessing of Ahamkara is to be aware of the fact that rising thoughts and emotions are often colored with either attraction or aversion. Instead of saying “I need this. Say It needs this”.
  3. Cultivate Nirmata/Humbleness which will wash away the first power (Mal/Filth) of Maya. And best and perfect way to produce Nirmata/Humbleness is do Sewa (Selfless Service) saying that I'm NOT doing, God is making me do it and then Thank Him. I personally find this as the simple but very potent/effective.

Apart from the above 3 mentioned ways to control the Ego, there is NO easy way. It's extremely hard (but NOT impossible) to work with Pride. If you're thinking that you could control Ego via practice of silence or intellect or thinking to act this way or that way because that particular way is good or more Spiritual, then you're out of luck as Ego cannot be controlled by the source of the Ego......as in India there is a saying "Dudh de rakhe vaste billi nu nahi bethaeda (You cannot assign cat to protect the bowl of milk....as cat will naturally drink the milk)".....same way Mind (thinking/will-power/intellect) cannot be used to get rid of Pride. Mind itself is the cause of Pride and the source is previous bad karmas.

At last, I remember one Mahapurash has given the following flowchart to attain Salvation within one Birth as follows:

1. Have Nirmata.
2. Brahmachraj (Don't see another man/women)
3. Do not steal and have Santokh.
4. Do not do Nidea/Backbitting.
5. Simran/Meditation of Guru updesh.
6. Have less food, and less sleep.



Bhul chuk maaf

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  • 1 year later...

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