Harbhajan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/sto...8d-dd04535e1c3f Family members guilty of assault in attack on young bride Court hears couple were harassed over unwanted marriage Susan Lazaruk; with a file by John Colebourn The Province Sunday, June 24, 2007 Surinder Toor did not want her son, Paul, to marry his girlfriend, Reena. When he insisted, she told the bride she had to pay the family $50,000 for the marriage. When Reena Toor failed to do so, life for the newlywed couple became a nightmare. Toor family members assaulted or stabbed the new bride, put glass in her bed, switched her pills, poisoned her food and denied her access to the kitchen and laundry of the extended-family home. Yesterday, a B.C. Supreme Court jury found Surinder Toor, her daughter, Parvinder Toor, and her niece, Rajwansh Nijjar, guilty of aggravated assault. Surinder and Parvinder were convicted of uttering death threats, while Surinder and Nijjar were found guilty of committing assault with a weapon. The jury also found that Surinder was guilty of obstructing justice by threatening Reena if she reported the assault to police. Details of the attack revealed during the trial were brutal. Toor was stabbed and beaten over the head with a baseball bat, court heard. After hearing the guilty verdict, 27-year-old Reena Toor said: "I think it's fair, as now I can feel that I got justice. I was totally shocked to hear what I heard in court." "They came back and convicted all three of everything," added Crown prosecutor Kerr Clark. "You never feel great when someone is convicted, but I think it was an appropriate verdict." The attack took place on Nov. 23, 2004, near Fraser Street and 46th Avenue in Vancouver after Surinder met Reena at a bus stop after work. Inside Parvinder's parked car, Surinder hit Reena over the head with a baseball bat and tried to stab her with a 30-centimetre serrated kitchen bread knife as Nijjar held Reena's hair. Court was told that Parvinder yelled at Reena that she was a prostitute and used drugs, and that both she and Nijjar prevented Reena from leaving the car. They threatened her with death if she didn't transfer her half-ownership of the Surrey house to another cousin, testimony showed. Reena was able to escape after biting her mother-in-law's hand, causing her to drop the knife -- but not before being stabbed by a second smaller knife that was still sticking out of her stomach when a homeless person later found her sitting on the sidewalk. All three of the accused categorically and calmly denied all the allegations, insisting they were nowhere near the crime scene that day. The three testified that they liked Reena and that there were only a few problems when they lived together. Surinder, 52, who walked slowly and with a cane, testified Reena had once threatened to kill her. Two of the family's uncles -- Surinder's brothers-in-law, including Harinder Toor, who owns Punjabi Food Centre on Main Street -- also backed up the accuseds' side of the story while on the witness stand. The attack came seven months after Reena and Paul married, and almost three months after the couple said they were forced to leave the family's Surrey home because they weren't allowed to use the kitchen and laundry. Reena, who screamed hysterically on the witness stand after defence lawyer Russ Chamberlain accused her of lying to split Paul from his family, also alleged that family members had planted large, jagged pieces of broken glass on her side of her bed. She also testified that Surinder had demanded she pay her mother-in-law $50,000 to marry Paul and poisoned their food. Reached last night, Toor said she remains happily married to her husband despite all the couple have been through. She said that with the trial behind them, they can get on with their lives. "We do have plans," she said. "But I would rather not comment on them for safety reasons." slazaruk@png.canwest.com © The Vancouver Province 2007 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 "If this is all proven to be true", these people are worse than rabid dogs. Even after coming to the west, this disgusting Indian greed induced psycho mentality doesn't leave these pathetic excuses for human beings. They should be publicly/socially shunned by the community, but that will also be too much to ask, as the other bad Punjabi trait of being attached to ones relatives and hiding all their crimes, still exists... What a sorry state of affairs, makes me physically sick. When are we going to come to our senses and learn a lesson from the Namdhari's and stop this stupid tradition of Dhaaj? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 When he insisted, she told the bride she had to pay the family $50,000 for the marriage. What real man would ever ask for a dowry from his wife... This is sickening. Similar stuff happens on the other side of the border. It just seems Indo-Pakistani culture is profoundly mysognist. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 In the UK (as far as I have experienced) this isn't a problem in far as the grooms family do not ask for the Dhaaj, as it's the Brides famliy that are worried about what people will say or what the Grooms family will say etc, so "on average" try and spend around £20k to £30k on the wedding possibly excluding the Dhaaj in the form of bank balance, Gold or a number of gifts. This narrow minded and egocentric mentallity in the west is the cause for this disease to take root again in Punjab (on both sides) as when the many Punjabi boys go to seek their pure Bride in the old land, there is a level of expectation that the Brides famliy will put on a good event etc. What these people don't realise is that this introduced fad has a social consequence on the poor, who often have to sell everything they own to marry their daughter off according to prevalent cultural norms. I totally put blame on the wealthy west who have more cash than sense and in my books, are the ones collectively responsible for the re-emergence of the femicide culture in Punjab. In my opinion, the many faces of Sikhi have good and bad points, and in this area, Baba Ram Singh Namdhari hit the nail on the head, although parts of AKJ, Taksal and Sant jathaas also practice simple wedding culture where the Brides family incur minimal expense 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 In the UK (as far as I have experienced) this isn't a problem in far as the grooms family do not ask for the Dhaaj, as it's the Brides famliy that are worried about what people will say or what the Grooms family will say etc, so "on average" try and spend around £20k to £30k on the wedding possibly excluding the Dhaaj in the form of bank balance, Gold or a number of gifts. This narrow minded and egocentric mentallity in the west is the cause for this disease to take root again in Punjab (on both sides) as when the many Punjabi boys go to seek their pure Bride in the old land, there is a level of expectation that the Brides famliy will put on a good event etc. What these people don't realise is that this introduced fad has a social consequence on the poor, who often have to sell everything they own to marry their daughter off according to prevalent cultural norms. I totally put blame on the wealthy west who have more cash than sense and in my books, are the ones collectively responsible for the re-emergence of the femicide culture in Punjab. In my opinion, the many faces of Sikhi have good and bad points, and in this area, Baba Ram Singh Namdhari hit the nail on the head, although parts of AKJ, Taksal and someSant jathaas also practice simple wedding culture where the Brides family incur minimal expense, and even this is shared with the Grooms family, namley langar. In many cases more than 1 wedding is performed at the same time, further saving on expenses, and showing real humility as the "my special day" and "Celebrity Status" are not a non-issue. But if these weddings became the norm, I'm afraid the now common invite list of 1000 people would trickle down to around 20 odd people. I have seen this happen where couples have chosen to take their vows at amritvela to start their new day (life) together as they wish to continue it... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 I totally put blame on the wealthy west who have more cash than sense and in my books, are the ones collectively responsible for the re-emergence of the femicide culture in Punjab. Yeah blame it all on the West. Tell me one country in Europe where a man expects his wife's family to come up with a dowry. Rather drowry is an upper caste tradition that was copied by the emerging middle class in India. End of th 19th century you still had men who offered the wife's family a dowry. Putting the blame on the wealthy west...LOL ridiculous! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kam1825 Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Javanmard is right and this is a cultural problem originating from stupid cultural ideals from the indian region although it does also exist in other cultures but not to the extreme that runs in india. I still cant believe even though people have left india, pakistan, bangladesh and an country with similar views still practice these stupid things and live by making money from accepting a daughter/wife into a household. All i can say is we should look at the Namdharis and praise them for their simple weddings all for the price of 1 rupee. This being no dowry or extravagant expense on either the groom or the brides family 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Unfortunately you have selectively read my post out of context. Your comments do not make sense here, I am very clearly speaking of the Punjabi immigrants in the west, not the hallowed indigineous west. But the west is no so innocent either as you tend to indicate, dowry was prevalent in many European countries up until the 1st Great war, and still is in many Euro countries rural communities. I will leave you to do the homework. The problems associated with Dowry murders today are predominantly the fault of irresponsible Punjabi immigrants in the west, who have started the trend of lavish weddings and dowries (which they can afford here) and influenced and encouraged the same in Punjab, without thinking of the consequences. As with many other things, this has now been taken to new extremes in the Punjab. Even here in the UK, I know of less financially stable families who through cultural and socail peer pressure, re-mortgage their houses to marry off their daughters. Then these same "kids" who wanted the norm, complain about not being able tosave or raise £30k deposit for a house after wasting £30k on a wedding! I give full respect to Baba Ram Singh Namdhari for his insistence and foresight on having simple inexpensive marriages. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Yes dowry exists in many countries and do you know how it works? BOTH families contribute with money and goods so the newly weds can have an easier start in life. Yeah that's so evil isn't it? This whole excuse of peer pressure is just a way to excuse people from using their God given reason. I'll tell you a story. As you might know in Islamic countries today there is a problem with the very high dowry that the husband has to pay for his bride.Needless to say this isn't really Islamic. Anyways. A young famous Egyptian actress started getting marriage proposals and her pretenders started with impressing her family with all kinds of very expesive gifts: a villa, a lamborgini, Gucci, Prada...you name it. She refused all of them. Then a guy comes along and offers her a straw prayer mat and she married him. When asked as to why she didn't chose the men with more expensive dowries she replied: "Am I greater than Fatimah Zahra (as). If the daughter if the Prophet (pbuh) received a straw prayer from Imam 'Ali (as) as a wedding gift, who am I to ask for more." This girl was exposed to big pressure as well but she used her reason and her faith. In fact the growing trend in Iran now is just to ask for a Qur'an, 14 gold coins and a mirror, sometimes even less. A proof that for some people faith is more important than tribal habits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 btw I think the article is made up and racist: Panjabis would never do that!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Sorry to labour the point, but actually, the brides family "traditionally" pay for marriage in many Christian demoninations in UK. Nice and inspiring story, I pray Guru gives all people this simplicity and strong faith, the key word in it however is "faith", the girl was obviously religious. This story is not so uncommon amongst the strong faith elements within the Sikh community (as I have mentioned above) This problem, as many others, lie amongst the non-religious populations, in Sikhi and Islam alike. But I admit, the problems caused by dowry in Punjab - and India in general, are amongst (if not the most) horrific in the world. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chatanga Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 there nothignworng wiv the tradition of the bride paying. the problem is when greedy people begin to take advantage of this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 there nothignworng wiv the tradition of the bride paying It's so manly ad chivalrous to have your wife's parents pay... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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