vahegurujio

100% bro this is why I rely on it. If I'm being honest I don't feel depressed or anything like that at all. I get upset when I do things which I don't belive in. Gursikh pyaare, I come from a place of love when saying this but I don't agree with orthodox sikhi. I.e vegetarianism and staying away from degh etc. Like if its something a person wants to do cool do your thing but if a singh doesn't connect with that way he shouldn't feel or made to feel like he's wrong either. Bhul chuk maaf bhai sahib. Came here to discuss things with my brothers and apologise if I'm being too open about situations 🙏

I used to do this baani everyday around the afternoon just listening to it. I have a mad respect for mataji as she Darshan of Guru Hargobind Sahibji and her saki is amazing. 
 
During listening to this baani, I felt a mad urge to cut off a goats head and drink the blood and eat the beating heart. 
 
Since then I went to the mahaan at the gurdwara and they told me to take all dasam grants out my nitnem. This included CDV, shastaar naam mala and brahm kavich. The only baani from dasam granth involved in my nitnem now is just the 3 in panj baaniya. I listen to other baani too. Sukhmani sahib was one. I was also told to stop listening to salok mahalla nauva and for those bani that I was told to drop, I replaced with dukh panjani sahib and shabad hazare.
 
Since doing this I feel a really nice peace but I miss dasam granth paatsha baani so much. I miss having the bir ras inside me. I too am also in 2 minds as do I go back to listening to my old nitnem? When I listen to the odd baani here and there I feel a sense of guilt like I'm going against the mahaan of the guru ghar but I don't think he understands my POV. 
 
At heart I'm a nihang singh but I took amrit else where which don't belive in the way of dal. I feel unsure what to do at this point. If I carry on, am I living my life to please others? My only itcha is to have Darshan of maharaj and I feel that the maryada at budda dal will help get me there. I also find it so hard to keep weight off as a veggie. I struggle with my diet. Alot of things. 
 
I don't mean to cause any offence to any samprota just expressing my views and feelings and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
 
Bhul chuk maaf saadh sangatji
 

I don't agree brother as it was something I wanted to do. I don't see anything wrong with it either 

I mean force you to follow rules they made up not in Gurbani. 

100% bro this is why I rely on it. If I'm being honest I don't feel depressed or anything like that at all. I get upset when I do things which I don't belive in. Gursikh pyaare, I come from a place of love when saying this but I don't agree with orthodox sikhi. I.e vegetarianism and staying away from degh etc. Like if its something a person wants to do cool do your thing but if a singh doesn't connect with that way he shouldn't feel or made to feel like he's wrong either. Bhul chuk maaf bhai sahib. Came here to discuss things with my brothers and apologise if I'm being too open about situations 🙏

100% bro this is why I rely on it. If I'm being honest I don't feel depressed or anything like that at all. I get upset when I do things which I don't belive in. Gursikh pyaare, I come from a place of love when saying this but I don't agree with orthodox sikhi. I.e vegetarianism and staying away from degh etc. Like if its something a person wants to do cool do your thing but if a singh doesn't connect with that way he shouldn't feel or made to feel like he's wrong either. Bhul chuk maaf bhai sahib. Came here to discuss things with my brothers and apologise if I'm being too open about situations 🙏

By taking degh which was prepared with gurmat in my eyes as the singh had done ardas etc too

Building chuk maaf but why do we have different maryadas and rehit if its all the same? I thought that too until I done something outside maryada of sanprota and the told to retake my amrit however it was inline with sgpc rules

Never read however always listened to the baanis

Building chuk maaf but why do we have different maryadas and rehit if its all the same? I thought that too until I done something outside maryada of sanprota and the told to retake my amrit however it was inline with sgpc rules

Never read however always listened to the baanis

Cdv, shastar naam mala, 3 in 5 baaniya nitnem, braham kavich also followed by sukhmani sahib, salok mahalla nauvan also and been doing it since December 2022

I used to do this baani everyday around the afternoon just listening to it. I have a mad respect for mataji as she Darshan of Guru Hargobind Sahibji and her saki is amazing. 
 
During listening to this baani, I felt a mad urge to cut off a goats head and drink the blood and eat the beating heart. 
 
Since then I went to the mahaan at the gurdwara and they told me to take all dasam grants out my nitnem. This included CDV, shastaar naam mala and brahm kavich. The only baani from dasam granth involved in my nitnem now is just the 3 in panj baaniya. I listen to other baani too. Sukhmani sahib was one. I was also told to stop listening to salok mahalla nauva and for those bani that I was told to drop, I replaced with dukh panjani sahib and shabad hazare.
 
Since doing this I feel a really nice peace but I miss dasam granth paatsha baani so much. I miss having the bir ras inside me. I too am also in 2 minds as do I go back to listening to my old nitnem? When I listen to the odd baani here and there I feel a sense of guilt like I'm going against the mahaan of the guru ghar but I don't think he understands my POV. 
 
At heart I'm a nihang singh but I took amrit else where which don't belive in the way of dal. I feel unsure what to do at this point. If I carry on, am I living my life to please others? My only itcha is to have Darshan of maharaj and I feel that the maryada at budda dal will help get me there. I also find it so hard to keep weight off as a veggie. I struggle with my diet. Alot of things. 
 
I don't mean to cause any offence to any samprota just expressing my views and feelings and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
 
Bhul chuk maaf saadh sangatji
 

I used to do this baani everyday around the afternoon just listening to it. I have a mad respect for mataji as she Darshan of Guru Hargobind Sahibji and her saki is amazing. 
 
During listening to this baani, I felt a mad urge to cut off a goats head and drink the blood and eat the beating heart. 
 
Since then I went to the mahaan at the gurdwara and they told me to take all dasam grants out my nitnem. This included CDV, shastaar naam mala and brahm kavich. The only baani from dasam granth involved in my nitnem now is just the 3 in panj baaniya. I listen to other baani too. Sukhmani sahib was one. I was also told to stop listening to salok mahalla nauva and for those bani that I was told to drop, I replaced with dukh panjani sahib and shabad hazare.
 
Since doing this I feel a really nice peace but I miss dasam granth paatsha baani so much. I miss having the bir ras inside me. I too am also in 2 minds as do I go back to listening to my old nitnem? When I listen to the odd baani here and there I feel a sense of guilt like I'm going against the mahaan of the guru ghar but I don't think he understands my POV. 
 
At heart I'm a nihang singh but I took amrit else where which don't belive in the way of dal. I feel unsure what to do at this point. If I carry on, am I living my life to please others? My only itcha is to have Darshan of maharaj and I feel that the maryada at budda dal will help get me there. I also find it so hard to keep weight off as a veggie. I struggle with my diet. Alot of things. 
 
I don't mean to cause any offence to any samprota just expressing my views and feelings and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
 
Bhul chuk maaf saadh sangatji
 

I used to do this baani everyday around the afternoon just listening to it. I have a mad respect for mataji as she Darshan of Guru Hargobind Sahibji and her saki is amazing. 
 
During listening to this baani, I felt a mad urge to cut off a goats head and drink the blood and eat the beating heart. 
 
Since then I went to the mahaan at the gurdwara and they told me to take all dasam grants out my nitnem. This included CDV, shastaar naam mala and brahm kavich. The only baani from dasam granth involved in my nitnem now is just the 3 in panj baaniya. I listen to other baani too. Sukhmani sahib was one. I was also told to stop listening to salok mahalla nauva and for those bani that I was told to drop, I replaced with dukh panjani sahib and shabad hazare.
 
Since doing this I feel a really nice peace but I miss dasam granth paatsha baani so much. I miss having the bir ras inside me. I too am also in 2 minds as do I go back to listening to my old nitnem? When I listen to the odd baani here and there I feel a sense of guilt like I'm going against the mahaan of the guru ghar but I don't think he understands my POV. 
 
At heart I'm a nihang singh but I took amrit else where which don't belive in the way of dal. I feel unsure what to do at this point. If I carry on, am I living my life to please others? My only itcha is to have Darshan of maharaj and I feel that the maryada at budda dal will help get me there. I also find it so hard to keep weight off as a veggie. I struggle with my diet. Alot of things. 
 
I don't mean to cause any offence to any samprota just expressing my views and feelings and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
 
Bhul chuk maaf saadh sangatji
 

I used to do this baani everyday around the afternoon just listening to it. I have a mad respect for mataji as she Darshan of Guru Hargobind Sahibji and her saki is amazing. 
 
During listening to this baani, I felt a mad urge to cut off a goats head and drink the blood and eat the beating heart. 
 
Since then I went to the mahaan at the gurdwara and they told me to take all dasam grants out my nitnem. This included CDV, shastaar naam mala and brahm kavich. The only baani from dasam granth involved in my nitnem now is just the 3 in panj baaniya. I listen to other baani too. Sukhmani sahib was one. I was also told to stop listening to salok mahalla nauva and for those bani that I was told to drop, I replaced with dukh panjani sahib and shabad hazare.
 
Since doing this I feel a really nice peace but I miss dasam granth paatsha baani so much. I miss having the bir ras inside me. I too am also in 2 minds as do I go back to listening to my old nitnem? When I listen to the odd baani here and there I feel a sense of guilt like I'm going against the mahaan of the guru ghar but I don't think he understands my POV. 
 
At heart I'm a nihang singh but I took amrit else where which don't belive in the way of dal. I feel unsure what to do at this point. If I carry on, am I living my life to please others? My only itcha is to have Darshan of maharaj and I feel that the maryada at budda dal will help get me there. I also find it so hard to keep weight off as a veggie. I struggle with my diet. Alot of things. 
 
I don't mean to cause any offence to any samprota just expressing my views and feelings and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
 
Bhul chuk maaf saadh sangatji