dalsingh101 Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Some people have it relatively easy growing up. Some real tough. It's reality. That doesn't prevent healthy people who've come from unquestionably affluent, secure, non abusive environments turning themselves into some sort of victims. Human psychology is crazy like that sometimes. Edited June 8, 2011 by dalsingh101 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asd Posted June 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) okayyyy thnx for helping... wow seems like people live on this form Gotta understand that we are kaljug lifeforms bound by the 5 emotions. until we are true sikhs and get our priorities in line we will not over come them. thats what leads most men to think Girls with facial hair are gross, like the "bearded woman" in a carnival. in turn girls that think guys with longggg beards is hot. all this is superficial. whos to say in 20 years FASHION is that men and women be hairless!!!! then what. back to theissue at hand... technically i haven't been asking girls myself. maybe here and there. majority is that friends ask my situation and say they wana help and that will look. Some followed thru some were just hollow words. basicly all have been through 3rd party singhs, singhia and family friends...girls in india sure m open to it. wats to say that desi kuria r much better? no offence to any.. i have talked to a couple of girls from india and to some degree they can be even worse.. Edited June 8, 2011 by asd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 okayyy thnx real help !!!! Okay sorry for spoiling your thread please ask admin/mod to remove all irrelvant posts in other thread so you can receive real help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 girls in india sure m open to it. wats to say that desi kuria r much better? no offence to any.. i have talked to a couple of girls from india and to some degree they can be even worse.. Girls in India live from slums to mansions .Just by talking to couple of them you cannot say that they are worse or better.If you want to marry Girl from poor ,lower middle class family then travel to india ,talk to Gurdwara's who provide matrimonial service and then meet the parents ,only after their approval you can talk to those girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asd Posted June 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 i understand what ur saying. sadly i dont have time to go to india. i can barely get 2 weeks off. next time i go i'll try it tho. i haven't spoke of these girls maybe 3. others were contacted by friends who wanted to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SikhKhoj Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 ASD, some women in Punjab can be worse and just marry you to come here. But try to find a good family, via yours maybe? I agree with all those idiotic Punjabis trying to act all western with spiky hair (boys) and wearing jeans (girls). Our Punjab has been ruined, boys on drugs, girls have become shameless, multiple relationships, rising aids, etc. btw, Chatanga, Maharaja Ranjit Sion da record tor de, he had 18 haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 ASD, some women in Punjab can be worse and just marry you to come here. But try to find a good family, via yours maybe? I agree with all those idiotic Punjabis trying to act all western with spiky hair (boys) and wearing jeans (girls). Our Punjab has been ruined, boys on drugs, girls have become shameless, multiple relationships, rising aids, etc. btw, Chatanga, Maharaja Ranjit Sion da record tor de, he had 18 haha Just tell the girls and her parents that I may or may not return to abroad.I may start my own business in India,this will shoo away all the girls which are after Visa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipledgeblue Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) I was wondering if anyone else out there been having difficulty finding a partner? This has been a problem for about a year and half. I been passed over by at least 20 amritdhari kuria in this time. have they become picky or more demanding lol ? I dunno what they want, do you? It goes both ways these days.. Amritdhari men are very picky too. I've heard of Amritdhari bibian who got rejected by Amritdhari men because they had facial hair! Since when did we start rejecting people for following their dharam? Some other issues amongs Amritdharis are caste issues. Perhaps the Amritdhari men just don't find some of the jatha maryada rules for the bibiyan to be a part of dharam? Jatha and caste issues I think A friend of mine told me about a Singh from the UK who couldn't get married because he's from a chamar background! What has the world come into?! It was always like this, not just now... Lib = womens liberation. All that feminist stuff. But thats another thread. A man not going for a women with a beard seems quite reasonable. Who here thinks that a lady with a beard (, and lets not use euphemisms like 'facial hair'!) is sexually attractive?? As a bibi/sister/member of sangat with a beard is fine. but most men do not want a bearded girl as a mate. Simple as that. Its not about rejecting someone because of their dharma but because the guy doesn't like her physical features. Isn't that the main reason why we choose or reject partners in the first instance? apart from the whole host of other reasons that apne have.! Will the facial hair bibiyan force their jatha rules on me? might affect my diet too!!! Suryadev, it is about rejecting a girl who's following her dharam. There's a big difference between a woman with a beard (hirsutism) and a few hairs here and there. If an Amritdhari man can't accept a woman with facial hair, what was his reason to chak Amrit in the first place, if he can't accept the Rehats given by Panj Piare? Maybe they should just go join the dals, like a proper amrit dhari, forget marriage, just become a full time khalsa soldier. Another thing Suryadev, there are always topic's on forum's on men complaining about women who don't want to marry keshdhari men. Women who want clean-shaven "sikh's". But why is it okay the other way around? The fact is that every human being has hair all over his body except under his hands and feet. Read a biology book if you don't believe me. These are the only 2 places where you don't have hair. Some people have very light hair color so you don't notice the hair while other people have dark hair and you can see it easily. If we as a kaum can't accept women with facial hair (women following rehat given by Guru Gobind Singh Jee) phir sada ki rehgaya? What's the point of our religion and taking Amrit then? I don't know what men's problems are. Maybe they've seen too many bollywood movies? Are you sure its Guru Gobind Singh's rehit, I always keep thinking female facial hair thing is jatha/jathebandi thing. And don't blame men for bollywood movies, its the women that watch them... Ive had a lot of problems in finding another wife. Some girls just cant bear then thought of sharing me with another woman. What is the world coming to? Awww, I guess they don;t have the purataan thinking for you; welcome brother to post-Victorian era, where you can have one woman at one time, but many women over a lifetime (and without marriage) You see people have used a loophole by just making multiple girlfriends. But you are not allowed to be married to do this, oh dear... Edited June 12, 2011 by londondajatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 i understand what ur saying. sadly i dont have time to go to india. i can barely get 2 weeks off. next time i go i'll try it tho. i haven't spoke of these girls maybe 3. others were contacted by friends who wanted to help. I am sorry for harsh words but if you don't have time to even search a proper wife then its better to forget about marriage .Marriage is a very important decision of anyone's life you have to take time and meet girls.It is not like a property that oh my friends are suggesting that this place is good for investment so I am investing in it. What if your friends suggestion goes terribly wrong and your life will become hell,will at that time your friends will come to rescue you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Kaur Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) I dunno what they want, do you? Perhaps the Amritdhari men just don't find some of the jatha maryada rules for the bibiyan to be a part of dharam? Jatha and caste issues I think It was always like this, not just now... Will the facial hair bibiyan force their jatha rules on me? might affect my diet too!!! Maybe they should just go join the dals, like a proper amrit dhari, forget marriage, just become a full time khalsa soldier. Are you sure its Guru Gobind Singh's rehit, I always keep thinking female facial hair thing is jatha/jathebandi thing. And don't blame men for bollywood movies, its the women that watch them... Awww, I guess they don;t have the purataan thinking for you; welcome brother to post-Victorian era, where you can have one woman at one time, but many women over a lifetime (and without marriage) You see people have used a loophole by just making multiple girlfriends. But you are not allowed to be married to do this, oh dear... Keeping hair is not a jathebandi thing. It's rehat given by Panj Piare who are Guru Roop. I don't mind people who don't believe in women keeping hair, but don't come up with all kinds of excuses for women not to keep their hair. Each to their own. Oh dear you are so naive. Boys and men watch Bollywood movies too. Have you never seen men trying to act like they're the next John Abraham with their spiky hair haha Go to any cinema in London when there's a Bollywood movie on and you will realise that 50% of the audience are men. Edited June 12, 2011 by G.Kaur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asd Posted June 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) excuse me kdsingh80, don't come out with such accusations like women=property or investments on me. i just came to maybe tell my sitiuation and get some advise. Its seems tho you people are more into bantering with each other and hijacking threads.. if there was good advice to give , thank you. rest of the lectures you could keep. i'm sure i'll find someone, just the matter of weeding them out. property???? I had told you singhs and singhnia told me they know of girls looking for a husband and that they would ask them... where does property come here??? shame on you!!!! friends to the rescue??? grow up kdsingh80 all i gotta say is wow, really an eye opener here and not in a good sense good luck to all of you.. Edited June 12, 2011 by asd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) asd try Sikhsangat. This forum isn't good for this type of advice. Besides asking strangers on the net about personal stuff like this is dodgy, you should ask close family and friends instead. In future I suggest we all refrain from the Oprah stuff on the forum and point them somewhere else like shaadi.com The guy seems to have become disgruntled. Edited June 12, 2011 by dalsingh101 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) duplicate Edited June 12, 2011 by kdsingh80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 excuse me kdsingh80, don't come out with such accusations like women=property or investments on me. i just came to maybe tell my sitiuation and get some advise. Its seems tho you people are more into bantering with each other and hijacking threads.. if there was good advice to give , thank you. rest of the lectures you could keep. i'm sure i'll find someone, just the matter of weeding them out. property???? I had told you singhs and singhnia told me they know of girls looking for a husband and that they would ask them... where does property come here??? shame on you!!!! friends to the rescue??? grow up kdsingh80 all i gotta say is wow, really an eye opener here and not in a good sense good luck to all of you.. I think you have misunderstood my post ,I am not saying that women = property for you .I am saying that decision of marriage is very very important and one cannot left it on friends to search .You have to take time out of your work O/W you could be in real trouble in future. As far hijacking thread is concerned I already apologised and asked the admins to shift all the posts in other threads which I have created ,if they are not hearing my request then it is not my fault Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Kaur Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 asd try Sikhsangat. This forum isn't good for this type of advice. Besides asking strangers on the net about personal stuff like this is dodgy, you should ask close family and friends instead. In future I suggest we all refrain from the Oprah stuff on the forum and point them somewhere else. Dal, don't be such a wet blanket - Why aren't topic's like "I'm Amritdhari and in a relationship with a non-Amritdhari, hun main ki kara?", "I like this girl, how should I ask her to marry me and what is she doesn't like me the same way I like her?", "I'm Sikh in love with a Muslim, what should I do?", "my boyfriend asks me to sleep with him, should I do it or not?" allowed on this forum? Before you start yelling at me, notice the sarcasm in my post. Or maybe I'm just too old for these kinds of topics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipledgeblue Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Keeping hair is not a jathebandi thing. It's rehat given by Panj Piare who are Guru Roop. I don't mind people who don't believe in women keeping hair, but don't come up with all kinds of excuses for women not to keep their hair. Each to their own. Oh dear you are so naive. Boys and men watch Bollywood movies too. Have you never seen men trying to act like they're the next John Abraham with their spiky hair haha Go to any cinema in London when there's a Bollywood movie on and you will realise that 50% of the audience are men. Not keeping hair just darhi for women. I personally think keeping hair is a punjabi/indian thing for women anyway, but a beard for women, not so sure... ah most of those men at cinema are probably freshies anyway, so that doesn't count lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) Dal, don't be such a wet blanket - Why aren't topic's like "I'm Amritdhari and in a relationship with a non-Amritdhari, hun main ki kara?", "I like this girl, how should I ask her to marry me and what is she doesn't like me the same way I like her?", "I'm Sikh in love with a Muslim, what should I do?", "my boyfriend asks me to sleep with him, should I do it or not?" allowed on this forum? Before you start yelling at me, notice the sarcasm in my post. Or maybe I'm just too old for these kinds of topics. Some of the apparent pressing 'problems' of the sangat as evidenced in gupt sections of certain forums: 'My parents want me to marry a Singhni with a beard, what shall I do?' 'My beard is preventing a Singh from marrying me, advice needed.' 'Been sleeping with Abdul for 3 years on the sly, he is my soul mate but I am from a religious family, can't we just all get along. I don't think I can live without him. I am losing the will to live just thinking about being without him. Help me!' 'None of the potential partners that I'm meeting want to get with me? Why?' <then farts and burps> 'My family, who've pushed this religious stuff on me all my life are now getting funny because I want to marry another similarly religious person from a 'lower'/different caste.' 'I'm in absolute shock in reading posts that don't accept that Sikhs should be allowed to have relationships with and marry whomsoever they want! I am disgusted and want admin to delete my forum account with immediate effect! I've never encountered such ignorance. I have been perfectly happy with Leroy for 4 years now. We plan to marry next year. I haven't told my family about it yet though.' Edited June 12, 2011 by dalsingh101 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Kaur Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) Not keeping hair just darhi for women. I personally think keeping hair is a punjabi/indian thing for women anyway, but a beard for women, not so sure... ah most of those men at cinema are probably freshies anyway, so that doesn't count lol A Punjabi/Indian thing? What world are you living in?! How many non-religious Indian/Punjabi women have you met who keep their hair? It's a fact that majority of women cut their hair. Regarding women and hirsutism I don't really think it's a big problem in the Panth. Everyone have a few hair here and there, but very few women have a real beard. And you don't need to worry about Amritdhari women who keep their hair uncut. Just don't marry one, if you don't like the fact that they don't cut their hair. Regarding cinemas, no need to insult anyone. We all know who go to cinemas and who don't! Edited June 12, 2011 by G.Kaur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Kaur Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Some of the apparent pressing 'problems' of the sangat as evidenced in gupt sections of certain forums: 'My parents want me to marry a Singhni with a beard, what shall I do?' 'My beard is preventing a Singh from marrying me, advice needed.' 'Been sleeping with Abdul for 3 years on the sly, he is my soul mate but I am from a religious family, can't we just all get along. I don't think I can live without him. I am losing the will to live just thinking about being without him. Help me!' 'None of the potential partners that I'm meeting want to get with me? Why?' <then farts and burps> 'My family, who've pushed this religious stuff on me all my life are now getting funny because I want to marry another similarly religious person from a 'lower'/different caste.' 'I'm in absolute shock in reading posts that don't accept that Sikhs should be allowed to have relationships with and marry whomsoever they want! I am disgusted and want admin to delete my forum account with immediate effect! I've never encountered such ignorance. I have been perfectly happy with Leroy for 4 years now. We plan to marry next year. I haven't told my family about it yet though.' I think you "forgot" these topics: "help me get rid of kaam", "I get kaami thoughts when I see a girl, what shall I do", "I'm having wet dreams at night, help me", "I've been watching adult movies, do I have to go pesh". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Some of the apparent pressing 'problems' of the sangat as evidenced in gupt sections of certain forums: 'My parents want me to marry a Singhni with a beard, what shall I do?' 'My beard is preventing a Singh from marrying me, advice needed.' 'Been sleeping with Abdul for 3 years on the sly, he is my soul mate but I am from a religious family, can't we just all get along. I don't think I can live without him. I am losing the will to live just thinking about being without him. Help me!' 'None of the potential partners that I'm meeting want to get with me? Why?' <then farts and burps> 'My family, who've pushed this religious stuff on me all my life are now getting funny because I want to marry another similarly religious person from a 'lower'/different caste.' 'I'm in absolute shock in reading posts that don't accept that Sikhs should be allowed to have relationships with and marry whomsoever they want! I am disgusted and want admin to delete my forum account with immediate effect! I've never encountered such ignorance. I have been perfectly happy with Leroy for 4 years now. We plan to marry next year. I haven't told my family about it yet though.' And do you actually believe that all these posters are genuine.many times sites themselves create fake ID and post these stories so more people come and comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Also these classics: 'I used mouthwash and then I found out it had alcohol, do I need to do pesh.' 'I like a girl from the same pind, my parents say we can't marry even though we aren't related. Life's unfair.' 'Darshan Ragi has come to my town and brainwashed hordes of apnay to his views.' 'My local Gurdwara committee also runs a pub/club/discotheque in an adjoining 'Punjabi cultural centre' which also serves kebabs and fry ups.' 'My local Gurdwara committee has pub style brawls every election time.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylitol Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Keeping hair is not a jathebandi thing. It's rehat given by Panj Piare who are Guru Roop. I don't mind people who don't believe in women keeping hair, but don't come up with all kinds of excuses for women not to keep their hair. Each to their own. Oh dear you are so naive. Boys and men watch Bollywood movies too. Have you never seen men trying to act like they're the next John Abraham with their spiky hair haha Go to any cinema in London when there's a Bollywood movie on and you will realise that 50% of the audience are men. his beliefs are actually quite specific to the followers of niddar singh, a shastar vidya teacher in uk. niddar calls himself the main representative of nihang beliefs in the uk, and then turns around and promotes his own twisted version of sikhi which is completely at odds with nihang beliefs on many key points, such as female facial hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylitol Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 ASD, these days girls (and their families) are often a lot more demanding regarding their groom (and vice versa) especially with regard to education etc. however, i have often seen instances where the girl didn't really care that much about these kinds of things, but the family did. Either way, many families view marriage as an investment, and want to get the most out of their investment. So, what I am saying, is that the more you invest in yourself, in growing and developing yourself, the better an investment you will seem for a potential partner. It may all seem superficial, but this is how most marriage matches have been made, more or less, for thousands of years across cultures. The main thing, imo, is that the potential partner should be solidly grounded in dharm, not be superficial, and have the potential to be friends. good marriages end up in some sort of friendship anyway. the easiest investment in oneself that a person can make is to work out. a friend of mine despaired of finding a match, but his confidence shot way up after a few months of weightlifting and eating healthier. it's also important to be patient and not let the lack of a match get you down. 25 is still fairlly young. i only found a good match at age 29. despite being investment-worthy a lot of this had to do with a smaller social network on my part. it's hard to really give you a more tailored answer as I don't know enough about your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipledgeblue Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) A Punjabi/Indian thing? What world are you living in?! How many non-religious Indian/Punjabi women have you met who keep their hair? It's a fact that majority of women cut their hair. Regarding women and hirsutism I don't really think it's a big problem in the Panth. Everyone have a few hair here and there, but very few women have a real beard. And you don't need to worry about Amritdhari women who keep their hair uncut. Just don't marry one, if you don't like the fact that they don't cut their hair. Regarding cinemas, no need to insult anyone. We all know who go to cinemas and who don't! A little facial hair on the round or below the ears may add character to a female. Just not a beard, its just too manlike, and definitely a moustache. I live in a fantasy world where women don't cut their hair and quite often wear chunnis/dupattas, the bhangra dance teams bring it all back to me, I thirst for just a little bit of modesty from modern sikh female youth ( and scary half naked aunty jis) oh well... ... hmm I just remembered something, there's these sikh girls that show their shoulders off but for some reason think its necessary to cover their head with a turban. Do you understand that at all, because I don't? hmmm Edited June 12, 2011 by londondajatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Kaur Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 A little facial hair on the round or below the ears may add character to a female. Just not a beard, its just too manlike, and definitely a moustache. I live in a fantasy world where women don't cut their hair and quite often wear chunnis/dupattas, the bhangra dance teams bring it all back to me, I thirst for just a little bit of modesty from modern sikh female youth ( and scary half naked aunty jis) oh well... ... hmm I just remembered something, there's these sikh girls that show their shoulders off but for some reason think its necessary to cover their head with a turban. Do you understand that at all, because I don't? hmmm Do you consider yourself a Sikh or a jatt? Remember you can't be both at the same time Do you understand why Singh's can wear shorts/pants and a t-shirt (which don't cover their legs or arms) and women can't? Why the double standards? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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