tryingtoimprove Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 So 14 day blog has finished. I will start another 30 day blog to keep myself motivated. This blog will continue till 22nd Feb, 2016 which is the next full moon date. My focus will be: - maintain Amritvela - maintain celibacy ( not looking at nangi istriyan , not letting veerya patan through hasta-maithuna ) - I will not promise japa, as schedule has gotten busy. But I will try to see what I can do, & try to make up in future blogs. So here it goes. And thanks to all for starting motivating threads on this forum too :) Day 1 ( 23 Jan 2016, Full MOON, Saturday) - woke up 2:15 AM - 5 banis check - celibacy: #8 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 52 minutes ago, tryingtoimprove said: I will not promise japa, as schedule has gotten busy. But I will try to see what I can do, & try to make up in future blogs. Bro, the only way you will be able to discipline your mind is by binding it with something. Therefore, Daas would humbly request you to add something to your above schedule. It does not have to very lengthy. Maybe,10 Chaupai Sahib Paaths daily or 2 Malas of Mool Mantar daily or Jaap of "Tu heen Tu heen", etc. You can also try this. This is from Pooranmashi to Pooranmashi and you can do this in partnerships too. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Good luck. You did good last time and will be able to do this one too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 25 minutes ago, paapiman said: Bro, the only way you will be able to discipline your mind is by binding it with something. Therefore, Daas would humbly request you to add something to your above schedule. It does not have to very lengthy. Maybe,10 Chaupai Sahib Paaths daily or 2 Malas of Mool Mantar daily or Jaap of "Tu heen Tu heen", etc. You can also try this. This is from Pooranmashi to Pooranmashi and you can do this in partnerships too. Bhul chuk maaf My bday is on pooranmashi, does that make me special in some way lol. Jk. So we should do bhagti whole night on full moon? I don't really know the meaning, but I know full moon does play role in our emotions. Read long time ago somewhere lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 56 minutes ago, GurpreetKaur said: My bday is on pooranmashi, does that make me special in some way lol. Jk. So we should do bhagti whole night on full moon? I don't really know the meaning, but I know full moon does play role in our emotions. Read long time ago somewhere lol Yes, you are special sister. Yes, do Bhagti tonight. Try to stay awake the whole night. At Nanaksar in India, Samagam starts from 4 pm (on full moon day) till 7 am (the next day). Full moon nights are celebrated in remembrance of Satguru Sri Guru Nanak Dev jee Maharaaj, as Master appeared on earth on a full moon night. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Mine is in February so I will do bhagti in February lol . My lazy self will pass out but will try. Thanks veerji. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 1 hour ago, GurpreetKaur said: Mine is in February so I will do bhagti in February lol . My lazy self will pass out but will try. Thanks veerji. Coffee/Tea might help. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Day 2 ( 24 Jan, 2016, Sun) - woke up 2:20 am, slept 8-11 am - 5 banis check - celibacy: day 9 ps. had almost a close call around evening time, Kaam overtook for about half an hour. There were certain subtle clues that I was picking up upon Then something came up,& I was relieved. Have to be careful, even normal & harmless private conversations with someone can trigger. But Gurus grace, all was well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted January 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2016 Day 3 ( 25 Jan, 2016, Mon) - woke up 2:20, slept 7-11, it was tough this morning to wake up. - During the early morning nap when I was having natural tumescence ( perfectly normal), I was having these erotic dreams. I was more aware of these kind of dreams, which I wasn't previously. Luckily, there was no wet-dream. So all good for now . - 5 banis check - celibacy: day 10 - I know you guys are probably chukcling reading all this. Like what is this guy upto. But these are good notes for myself to see how I have changed over time, & the timeline of events. Vaaheguruooo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted January 26, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2016 Day 4 ( 26 jan 2016) - AV - check - 5B- check - celibacy : day 11 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted January 27, 2016 Report Share Posted January 27, 2016 On 1/25/2016 at 11:10 AM, tryingtoimprove said: - I know you guys are probably chukcling reading all this. Like what is this guy upto. But these are good notes for myself to see how I have changed over time, & the timeline of events. Vaaheguruooo Keep going bro. You have come up with an excellent idea - Self-Improvement blogs. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 @tryingtoimprove - How are you doing brother? Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted January 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 Day 9 ( 31 Jan 2016, Sunday) - AV check - Nitnem Check - celibacy : Day 16 May Guru Ji keep doing his Kirpa! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2016 Day 10 ( 1st Feb 2016, Mon) - AV, Nitnem check - Celibacy : day17 ( supandosh) - I had a wetdream overnight although don't remember it. I would not consider it as a break in celibacy for myself, because I didn't voluntarily watched anything or did it. This is my best record so far, 17 days before having a wd. The last one was 13 days before having a wd. Although I do notice some difference this morning,like a little bit lethargic but its nothing compared to the bad post effect of hasta-mathuna. I will also note down if I notice changes to strength. Also there are no lingering feelings of lust. ਸੁਪਨੈ ਬਿੰਦੁ ਨ ਦੇਈ ਝਰਣਾ ॥ Supanai Bindh N Dhaeee Jharanaa ||He does not waste his energy in wet dreams. 40876 ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਕੀ ਵਾਰ:੧ (ਮ: ੧) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੯੫੨ ਪੰ. ੧੯ Raag Raamkali Guru Nanak Dev May Guru Ji does kirpa to follow his instructions! waheguru. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Day 13 ( 4 Feb 2016 thu) - was feeling many lustful thoughts throughout the day, more than usual, but Guru jis kirpa stayed. - had a good workout tho in evening, wasnt feeling tired, so when energy increases it increases lust but it can be used in productive things. it is said that semen nourishes the mind, brain & body when conserved. - celibacy day 20 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 6, 2016 Report Share Posted February 6, 2016 You are doing great! I just wanted to add that when kaamic thoughts come instead of waiting for them to go away. Be proactive do something to distract ur thoughts. Immediately start reciting mool mantar, start doing ardasaan, oor recite some shabads about kaam, or go do some activity that will keep u busy. Do this until danger is passed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Guest said: You are doing great! I just wanted to add that when kaamic thoughts come instead of waiting for them to go away. Be proactive do something to distract ur thoughts. Immediately start reciting mool mantar, start doing ardasaan, oor recite some shabads about kaam, or go do some activity that will keep u busy. Do this until danger is passed. Thanks for the enouragement! yes sir, this danger is very very real until is passes away and drifts off for a while. I do think there is a cycle behind these lustful attacks. Either they happen every 3,4 or 7 days, one day it will be hard, next day no lust, another day depression or negativity hits. I am definitely busy with a project at the moment, so that is def. helping. Only time will tell, how far I can go. So far, Gurus kirpa has stayed and I am currently on nofap/no-pmo* day 22 (no pmo= porn/mast/orgasm) I will collectively use term pmo, because celibacy is not the right term , because I am not celibate in thoughts, celibacy un-intentionally induces haumai, I dont want any ego or haumai, I only want Gurus grace to carry my boat across....its still trying to get to middle and being rocked by strong ocean waves in forms of lust, depression, self-worthlessness, hopelessness and encouraged with bursts of motivation, hope & positivity from now & then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2016 Day 16 ( 7 Feb, 2016) - Amritvela &Nitnem has been consistent with Maharaj's kirpa. So didn't feel like updating these in a while. Hope it stays this way. - no pmo: day 23 Yesterday, was feeling a high, unconquerable & really motivated. But knew that would not last that long. Today, was not much high, feeling a bit down. Thank God, this has really helped with the weights. Strength is improving 1 rep at a time, but its slowly going up. Earlier, I would hit a plateau or even go down, but now its been consistent. I can sit longer, legs do get tired but they get used to it. My brain fog has improved. And I am more aggressive in my thinking. Feeling more alpha, slightly. Hope this continues. However, have to be alert all times, one slip and things can go downhill very fast. But emotions are definitely on a roller-coster, up & down, negative & positive, they can change in instant. If I cut down on the negativity that helps a lot. Tomorrow is New Moon Day, Masya. So atleast, half of this month has been okay. Looking forward to next half. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts Gursikho! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted February 8, 2016 Report Share Posted February 8, 2016 On 2/6/2016 at 2:55 PM, tryingtoimprove said: Either they happen every 3,4 or 7 days, one day it will be hard, next day no lust, another day depression or negativity hits. Bro, if you want, you can try the below Ayurvedic medication for Depression and negative thinking. It has no side effects. http://www.swamiramdevmedicines.com/herbal-remedies/divya-medha-vati.html Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2016 ...feeling down...its tough to keep up constantly...f__ life...nothing is going to change...pralabdh is too strong 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted February 8, 2016 Report Share Posted February 8, 2016 4 minutes ago, tryingtoimprove said: ...feeling down...its tough to keep up constantly...f__ life...nothing is going to change...pralabdh is too strong At least you have enough consciousness to recognise this effect. Now is the time to hype yourself and fight it. These are just thoughts. Disregard these thought derived feelings/emotions like you disregard the chattering mind during simran. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 19 hours ago, tryingtoimprove said: ...feeling down...its tough to keep up constantly...f__ life...nothing is going to change...pralabdh is too strong What happened brother? Are you an Amritdhari? Do you do Sangat? Is there a Gurudwara in your area? Do you listen to Katha? If you believe strongly that nothing is going to change, then for sure nothing will change. First of all, remember that you need to give yourself some time. Time will heal. Even, the sexual thoughts which attack you, will decrease as you age (25+), provided you keep doing Naam Simran. Try the above medication; it might help. Also. try the Jaap for Depression. Maharaaj has the power to do anything. Keep firm belief in him and keep doing Ardaas. Extreme case scenario (might not apply to you) - If you have any suicidal tendencies, please seek professional advice. There is absolutely no shame is consulting a professional, if you are struggling enormously. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Day 19 ( 10 feb 2016) - had a wetdream early morning ( 1:30 am) before waking up , and another one 9 am when taking a nap. supandoshx2. I guess all this celibacy has let the built up. the first wd was after 17 days, 2nd was after 10 days, 3rd was after 8 hours. Sleep does seem to have a relation with lust. - How do I feel ? I am not feeling sad at the moment just indifferent. I will keep up with the celibacy/pmo ( Day 26). This is a life long process, and requires tackling of several life issues. Celibacy is just a part of it. It takes time to rewire the brain circuits, so I will stay patient and keep updating. Strength is def increasing by one rep everytime. However, these wdreams may bump it down by 3-4 reps or even a decrease in max. Lets c how the rest goes... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryingtoimprove Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Day 23 ( 14 feb 2016, sunday) - had a wetdream this morning, 3 days previously was troubled by thoughts a lot, also watched nudity on two occasions 2 days ago, but luckily no hastha-maithuna, - nofap: Day 30 - when mind runs a lot, it dissipates energy, causing frustration & can lead to weakness & fall. gotta be more watchful of obsesive thoughts that come & avoiding compulsions to reduce anxiety. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2016 Report Share Posted March 1, 2016 How are you doing now? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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