Obeying Parents?! :((

[Guest]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I am feeling very depressed today and I thought I'd infect all of you lot too No seriously, I took Amrit a few weeks ago and since then I have been talking to my sisters, one is 11 and the other one is 16 about Sikhi each day so that they might one day be inspired by our great religion and join the Khalsa.

Something must be filtering through because the younger one yesterday quite adamantly took of her earrings and said to my Mum 'This is not part of our religion, and I don't want to wear pierced earrings anymore'.

You would think parents listening to a 11 year old which such views would be filled with pride and love, but my Mum totally freaked and told her she was ruining her life and to stop acting like some ascetic :evil: All over a pair of earrings?! She blamed it on me too saying it's my influence, but I don't understand why parents want us to be 'good' but not 'too good'. I mean what do they want?! :shock: Where do you draw the line here?

That poor kid is upset and she thinks she's done something wrong and it makes me so sad to see her that way. I don't know how to get through to Mum, not people do anyway. :roll:

It's hard enough to live with a separate identity in this country without having no support from parents too! :cry:

Gurfateh!

[Nihal_Kaur]

my dear, earrings will not be a hindrance to your little sister's sikhi, and neither is a girl who wears no earrings necessarily more closer to Vaheguru than a girl who does wear earrings. :wink:

I am a little surpirsed that you are intilling physical and outwardly attributes of your Sikhi belief in your little sister rather than telling her about learning Japji sahib off by heart, reading keertan sohila.... learning about meanings of Gurbani.

Your mum has seen alot of the world dear sis, let her do what she thinks is best for her daughter, I see she did not stop you in what you wanted to do....so to keep everyone happy, rather than tell your little sis, to not wear earrings, it might be best to instill in her a love of bani and morals.....

your only young........you got a lot to learn about yourself too!!! :wink:

[Mr §ingh]

my dear, earrings will not be a hindrance to your little sister's sikhi, and neither is a girl who wears no earrings necessarily more closer to Vaheguru than a girl who does wear earrings. :wink:

I am a little surpirsed that you are intilling physical and outwardly attributes of your Sikhi belief in your little sister rather than telling her about learning Japji sahib off by heart, reading keertan sohila.... learning about meanings of Gurbani.

Your mum has seen alot of the world dear sis, let her do what she thinks is best for her daughter, I see she did not stop you in what you wanted to do....so to keep everyone happy, rather than tell your little sis not to eat meat, to not wear earrings, not to remove her hair when she is older, (personally i don't think these things have an impact on your relationship with Vaheguru and Guru Ji) it might be best to instill in her a love of bani and morals.....

your only young........you got a lot to learn about yourself too!!! :wink:

Nihal_Kaur I disagree because If outside apperance wasn't important..

The Gurus Would n't have told us to not remove it from anypart of the body

I am a little surpirsed that you are intilling physical and outwardly attributes of your Sikhi belief in your little sister rather than telling her about learning Japji sahib off by heart, reading keertan sohila.... learning about meanings of Gurbani.

Whats the point of learning Jap JI SAhib of by heart if u dont follow the message and follow what the message teaches..?

Your mum has seen alot of the world dear sis,

AGree , thus she has more experience

let her do what she thinks is best for her daughter, I see she did not stop you in what you wanted to do....so to keep everyone happy, rather than tell your little sis not to eat meat, to not wear earrings, not to remove her hair when she is older,

Doesn't mean its right...

If Guru Govind Singh ji wouldn't have told chotey SAhib JAdey what to do ..and what not to..they wouldn't give Krubani innit?

they Gave Kurbani at Such a young age...

We are Guru Govind Singh Ji's children (when WE've AMrit Shakna) ATLEAST AS much as CHotey SAhib JAdey

not that we have so much videya, and gian but according to Guru Govind Singh ji we are equal:

Chaar Moe TO Kya Hoa, Jivat Kei Hazaar!

he thus said, so what if 4 died (his biological Children) 1000s are still living..

(personally i don't think these things have an impact on your relationship with Vaheguru and Guru Ji)

Obviously Guru Ji Did think so, and

thats why we were told that we DO have an impact on that!

it might be best to instill in her a love of bani and morals.....

that Also..but no use if not going to follow the message..

u gotta prepare for following the message given

//Bhulla CHukka Maaf

[Guest]

I have never forced my sisters to stop doing things to their appearance, my parents tried when I was young, it made me worse so I won't repeat their mistakes because I know how it feels when people try to change you.

I talk to them about Sikhi, Sakhis, the great things our Guru's did, her decision to remove her earrings was her own. It's an automatic thing, when a person becomes inspired by Sikhi and finds more enjoyment in learning and doing Path, he/she loses interest in fashion statements gradually.

I don't think of her any less if she does wear them, the middle one still cuts her hair, never have I made her feel she is doing something wrong, I do give her articles to read about the significance of hair, and now she has stopped shaving her arms, I think it's a start!

If your mother told you to shave or cut your hair, would you do so because they have more experience, or would you follow your Guru's Hukam? My Mother was against me taking Amrit, I waited 14 years so I would be independant enough to take it, and I have. She still feels as if I made a mistake, what should I have done? Followed her Hukam, or the Guru's?

I agree that we should respect our parents, and I love and respect them no matter what views they hold with regards to Sikhi, but the question still remains, which Hukam is higher and more beloved to you as a 'Sikh'.

Gurfateh

[SAadmin]

Its lot effective to help people inside first ..once they are changed...once their body, soul and mind belongs to akaal and then having an phsycial apperance of sikhi saroop not a big deal for them...They will be soo intoxicated with akaal's love that they will without thinkin once ...with faith give head to guroo maharaj ji

[Nihal_Kaur]

so Mr Singh, outside first, inside afterwards?

hmmm :?

[Mugermach Singh]

sometime parents think of the future of their kids. Ultimately, their goal is to get you married into a good family. from you posts, there are 3 girls in your family. Pretty hard time for your dad to find Good boys, and that too Amritdhari. Im not saying that them being against you taking amrit is right, but sometimes look at it from their view. Many children find it difficult to talk with ther parents about personal matters. This is a challange that faces us all.

I don't tend to tell my family bout sikhi much, for the reason that i know, "a Panjabi will always try to top you", so if i do say something, they will either say "yeah, i know that" or "not only this but also this", its a panjabi characteristic, but dont look at it in a negative way, cos if we didnt have this characteristic we wouldnt be posting.

if you want people to get into sikhi, let them come to you.... i.e they have an interest, but some people naturaly have this gift of being like a sikhi magnet, they attract people and inspire them. Personally, when the topic of sikhi does come up, take a back seat, let people tell you what they think, then you come in the end for the glory run.

The best affect you can have on your little sister is showing your there, be a role model, you can influence their behaviour on the things you do.

Untimately, you will have to listen to your parents, they are your parents. Moms and Dads have seen more of the world, but remember when they came they had nothing, so in fact their sikhi is not as strong as the 2nd generation becasue they had to work. They only want the best.

fIf you feel like doing something, explain to your sistes, carry on with, dont make it into a big deal, you little sis didnt need to tell your mom, im not wearing them cos its against sikh, instead she should have continued, if she didnt want to wear them, and let your mom figure it out herself. Dont hide it from them, let them figure it out.

As for you sister whos stopped shaving, im sure that will have an impact on her life, esp if shes at school and has to do Pe or games. So you need to be there then too.

Dont feel depressed, you need to keep a smlie on ya face. Happiness and sadness is a state of mind. easy to say, hard to do...

and as i always finish a post. Nutters the lot you.

[Nihal_Kaur]

Mr Singh please tell me who "us" is when you refer to guru Ji telling "us" not to remove "it" from any part of the body, and also where is this written and for whom?

Please explain.

And as for learning bani, if you are a singh i presume you read your panj banis, and follow what it says , so therefore you sing the true bani all day long? your biggest focus is to meet with Vaheguru? You do not have to explain these things to me, it is not any of my business, I am just saying, before making general sweeping statements like "Whats the point of learning Jap JI SAhib of by heart if u dont follow the message and follow what the message teaches..? " perhaps start by identifying the true message part of which is contemplation on the one creator, being in tune with Vaheguru day and night, feeling the connection, the bani, the anhad shabad, recognising the har ka roop in all and acting accordingly. The love is what matters ...according to Guru gobind Singh Ji ...not me.... saach kaho sun liho subhai jin prem kio tin hee prabh paiya"

Please don't bring sikhi down to just a physical level, it is far far more beautiful than that.......

Sis i stand corrected.

[Vaheguru24/7]

VJKK VJKF

Bhenji i can certainly sympathise with u (having been going thru a similar experience lately)!!!!

My parents wont let either my sis or I go 2 Gurdwara coz they say that the ppl their (many of whom hav just cum into Sikhi) are "not fit to associate with" :x

now i would understand if the ppl totally disagreed with basic sikhi priciples, but the fact is that we're all trying to get closer to sikhi in our individual ways - Guru Ji blesses sum more than others.

uv gotta keep ur sikhi strong and trust in Guru Ji (don't do what i tried and let it get 2 u and then think of stupid things like suicide!!) :evil:

Guru ji tests us al the time but that's only coz he wants us to pass and be stronger in our faith.

i know it's hard (trust me i'v been ther) but plz Bhenji, keep faith. al we can do is Simran and leave the rest up to Guru Ji

i'm not fit 2 give anybody advice, but i do know that doing more Path, and simran really helped me

i hope this works out

VAHEGURU VAHEGURU VAHEGURU VAHEGURU

[Pheena]

my dear, earrings will not be a hindrance to your little sister's sikhi, and neither is a girl who wears no earrings necessarily more closer to Vaheguru than a girl who does wear earrings. :wink:

I am a little surpirsed that you are intilling physical and outwardly attributes of your Sikhi belief in your little sister rather than telling her about learning Japji sahib off by heart, reading keertan sohila.... learning about meanings of Gurbani.

Your mum has seen alot of the world dear sis, let her do what she thinks is best for her daughter, I see she did not stop you in what you wanted to do....so to keep everyone happy, rather than tell your little sis, to not wear earrings, it might be best to instill in her a love of bani and morals.....

your only young........you got a lot to learn about yourself too!!! :wink:

I Agree ....well said sis...

[Guest]

Thanks you guys for taking out the time to reply, hope you didn't get affected by the depressed 'nutter'

Magermachi, thanks man, but it's hard to know when to take a backseat when you get blamed for everything bad and good in the family

Nihal Penj, I appreciate what you were saying before I explained myself, so I stand corrected too :wink:

Vaheguru, your post was so touching, made me realise sometimes we should look at other problems which put our own in context, thanks.

Gurfateh

[Mr §ingh]

First I will ask for forgivness for a l8 reply as I was away

Mr Singh please tell me who "us" is when you refer to guru Ji telling "us" not to remove "it" from any part of the body, and also where is this written and for whom?

Please explain.

And as for learning bani, if you are a singh i presume you read your panj banis, and follow what it says , so therefore you sing the true bani all day long? your biggest focus is to meet with Vaheguru? You do not have to explain these things to me, it is not any of my business, I am just saying, before making general sweeping statements like "Whats the point of learning Jap JI SAhib of by heart if u dont follow the message and follow what the message teaches..? " perhaps start by identifying the true message part of which is contemplation on the one creator, being in tune with Vaheguru day and night, feeling the connection, the bani, the anhad shabad, recognising the har ka roop in all and acting accordingly. The love is what matters ...according to Guru gobind Singh Ji ...not me.... saach kaho sun liho subhai jin prem kio tin hee prabh paiya"

Please don't bring sikhi down to just a physical level, it is far far more beautiful than that.......

Sis i stand corrected.

Mr Singh please tell me who "us" is when you refer to guru Ji telling "us" not to remove "it" from any part of the body, and also where is this written and for whom?

us= followers of the ShabaD/Guru

it=Kesh/hair

And as for learning bani, if you are a singh i presume you read your panj banis, and follow what it says , so therefore you sing the true bani all day long?

No but I try my best to do so... Right now I recite 3 Banis as in the Rehat..but I'm trying to do more and more

your biggest focus is to meet with Vaheguru?

Bhei Parapat Manukh Dehuriya..Gobind Milan Ki eho teri Bariya

Please forgive my spelling

You do not have to explain these things to me, it is not any of my business, I am just saying, before making general sweeping statements like "Whats the point of learning Jap JI SAhib of by heart if u dont follow the message and follow what the message teaches..?

WEll instead of learning something by heart which you dont understand, isn't it better if u REad and recite it but understand and follow the msg ?

" perhaps start by identifying the true message part of which is contemplation on the one creator, being in tune with Vaheguru day and night, feeling the connection, the bani, the anhad shabad, recognising the har ka roop in all and acting accordingly. The love is what matters ...according to Guru gobind Singh Ji ...not me.... saach kaho sun liho subhai jin prem kio tin hee prabh paiya

Bani and Bana

not only Bani but also Bani...

I've heard in Kathas (not my Maat) that Bana is as important as Bani

Please forgive my ignorance

/bhull CHukk Maaf!