Father to be paroled in 16 years for murdering his daughter

[bobbyboy]

What the heck? So you're justifying her indulgence into fornication? I don’t know how things are in Europe, but in Cananda most Punjabi people still have a sense of Sharam, most will not allow their daughters and sisters to indulge in sexual relations with Goray, whether you like it or not.

And what the heck is a gandharva vivah?

It's where a girl chooses her own husband because her family cannot find one for us or are creating obstacles to her marrying someone. Shaka would get his butt kicked for suggesting something like that in a Jat Khaps of UP and Haryana. In Punjab his beloved Pindus (always thought it was Pendu but Shaka is the scholar here so I'll leave it as Pindu) would use the usual tar and jutti around neck method

You say Pindu I say Pendu

You say Kattah I say Katha

Lets call the whole thing off

[Bruce Lung]

At 17 she was old enough to decide for herself. You may think she should have been married before "indulging in fornication" but that's your opinion, and you've been proved wrong by the fact that he stabbed his daughter to death in a frenzied murderous attack. Whether she was married in a gandharva vivah is irrelevant. In fact, the enormity of the violence committed makes all social and religious niceties irrelevant. I don't know how anyone can talk about "sharam" or any aspect of Punjabi culture given what's happened. This girl was snuffed out by someone she trusted, before she had a chance to start her life. The only person to defend her so far has been the law. I believe in the law, not curses.

[bobbyboy]

Let's not confuse the issue. Sleeping around is wrong and it doesn't become right just because the person who was sleeping around was murdered. Disassociate the two things. Murder is bad and so is sleeping around. Going around your family's back but still living in their house and enjoying the fruits of their labour is also a bad thing to do. If she had made up her mind she should have left the family home and moved away.

[Singh47]

I agree with Veer Bobby Boy,

Fornication should not be justified because she was murdered. These are two seperate issues. Sleeping around is wrong. Just because we live in the west does not mean we should discard all of our culture and become like goray.

[Niranjana]

Singh47 and Bobby Boy, it is you who have brought up the issue of sleeping around and clearly as a means to explain the father's rage as part of some 'Punjabi' (or rather Jat) "anakh".

I am not supporting pre-martial sex in my statements, but you are indirectly suggesting essentially that the girl asked for it -this is where we have the problem starting...

[bobbyboy]

You are indirectly saying that only Jats have Ankh. Do you have Ankh?

[Niranjana]

What makes you think I am not a Jatt? I'm just not a Jatt-Boot...

[bobbyboy]

Sorry Bro, you're no Jat. Call it Jat-intuition

[Niranjana]

lol! very good!

[Guest]

Please stick to the topic here, take out jatt-patt outta this topic. It has nothing to do with it.

[Harbhajan]

Teen's murder a wakeup call

Camille Bains

Canadian Press

Thursday, June 23, 2005

VANCOUVER (CP) -- Amandeep Atwal was a starry-eyed teen with big dreams and a secret love affair that she thought would get her killed if it was ever discovered by her parents.

For two years, the popular high school student regularly snuck out of her home in the northern B.C. town of Kitimat to spend time with her high school friend Todd McIsaac and his family.

But while Amandeep talked about one day getting married and having kids, she lived with a fear that stalked her daily.

"My dad's going to kill me when he finds out," the 17-year-old told Dan McIsaac, her boyfriend's father, shortly before she was murdered.

McIsaac said in an interview that he initially thought that was just teenage talk.

But Amandeep uttered those words, which still haunt McIsaac, after the two teens were in a car accident and hospital staff phoned their parents.

McIsaac, who worked with Amandeep's dad Rajinder Atwal at the local Alcan plant, had helped keep the secret that was about to be exposed.

Then it happened: Atwal set out to punish his daughter for what he believed was dishonouring the family. On July 30, 2003, he savagely stabbed Amandeep 17 times, even slashing her face.

At his sentencing hearing, Atwal cried and apologized but didn't testify during his trial. Atwal's lawyer, David Butcher, has filed an appeal of his client's second-degree murder conviction.

On Wednesday, a B.C. Supreme Court judge who called the murder "the ultimate breach of trust by a parent" ruled that Atwal would have to serve 16 years of his life sentence before he can apply for parole.

Indo-Canadian community activists say it's time that families like the Atwals who are caught in a cultural crossfire with their Canadian-born children realize they should seek help.

And they believe social agencies need to be culturally sensitive to the needs of people in crisis.

But community activists acknowledge that families with long-held beliefs from another era will need to change their attitudes about their grown children's relationships -- something that will take time.

At his sentencing hearing, Atwal's lawyer presented 60 letters of support from his client's friends, colleagues, neighbours and even his wife, son and younger daughter.

They called him a kind, hardworking man who was a good provider. And they urged the judge to show leniency to the husband and father they said they'd help rehabilitate after his release from prison.

But many among the small group of Indo-Canadian families in Kitimat denounced Atwal's actions as heinous, said Raymond Raj, president of the Kitimat Multicultural Society.

"People were just shocked and they were saying, 'Why? If she was dating somebody outside of the culture then what's the big deal?"'

Atwal, like the Sikhs who support him, has an old-world mentality that no longer exists even in much of India except for tiny villages, Raj said.

Many Indo-Canadian families come to accept the fact that their kids will meet people of different backgrounds at school and elsewhere, he said.

Others, said Raj, remain stuck in a time warp and also have a double standard for how they raise boys compared to girls.

For example, Amandeep's older brother Narinder was accompanied at his father's sentencing hearing by his Caucasian girlfriend.

Amandeep, however, paid for her relationship with her life. She wasn't the first South Asian woman to meet that fate.

Five years ago, Maple Ridge, B.C., resident Jaswinder Sidhu was murdered because she defied tradition by secretly marrying a man her parents disapproved of.

Sidhu, a 25-year-old beautician, was killed in India after she married a man she met while on a trip there.

Indian police have been trying to have Sidhu's mother and an uncle extradited to India, where police have arrested several others in connection with what they have called a contract killing.

RCMP Sgt. John Ward said an investigation into Sidhu's murder is ongoing but that he couldn't comment on it.

In 1996, Abdur Rashid, a wealthy West Vancouver man from an Ismaeli background, was sentenced to life in prison for the murder three years earlier of his daughter-in-law.

His son married 23-year-old Naazish Khan, a model he met while on holiday in Bombay, without the consent of his parents.

In 1975, Santa Singh Tatlay was sentenced to life in prison for murdering his daughter and her husband after a bomb hidden inside a kettle, believed to be a wedding present to the couple, exploded.

Another man, James Lewis, is also serving a life sentence as an accessory to the crime.

Manpreet Grewal, a Sikh community activist, said such crimes are extremely rare and horrifying to the vast majority of South Asians.

Most often, the family feels shame when a daughter dates someone even from her own culture because she's having a relationship before marriage, something that's considered a huge taboo, Grewal said.

"The whole value is entrenched in this purity of the girl, which brings honour to the family," she said, adding a daughter is considered a family's pride, to be given away one day to a compatible family.

Historically, sons are afforded more freedom and seen as the financial supporters of their parents in their old age.

Parents need to move on from their traditional beliefs and realize that their Canadian children are under a great deal of pressure because they're caught between two cultures and trying to deal with their parents' expectations while growing up around mainstream views, Grewal said.

Other community activists say it's not uncommon for a teen to have a secret relationship or even run away, leaving the family in disarray and finally looking for help.

"There's a lot of help but the problem is people walk out of their homes only in times of crisis, I'd say extreme crisis situations, when a lot of damage has already taken place," said a Sikh family counsellor who didn't want her name used because she feared speaking out could cause problems in the community.

Government aid agencies need to ensure staff are trained to deal with specific needs of the community and speak languages such as Punjabi to reach out to families in need, the counsellor said.

"The government has to take serious steps in this situation, where young people are saved so we don't have more Amandeep Atwals," she said.

"It is a burning issue and it's high time now that some steps should be taken in this direction."

Grewal echoed her sentiments: "Support that is culturally and linguistically competent for some of these families has not been there," she said.

While South Asians have traditionally prized their privacy and didn't share their personal woes with outsiders, they are slowly starting to ask for help in dealing with issues that threaten to tear their families apart, Grewal said.

However, she said it's also important for new immigrants to adapt to a different way of life in their adopted homeland.

Dan McIsaac, who affectionately refers to Amandeep by her nickname Aman, said she called him Dad and felt safe in the McIsaac home.

Her needless death should serve as a wakeup call, he said.

"I wish thousands and thousands of people would just scream about this because some other young girl is going to end up like this, and many have already."

© Canadian Press 2005

[Guest Javanmard]

I believe in the religion of Love, whatever direction its caravans may take, for Love is my religion and my faith - Ibn 'Arabi

[bobbyboy]

He never said goray are the only ones to sleep around, but it is more prevalent amongst Goray. How many goray parents care if their daughter is sleeping around, they only care that she doesn't get STDs or pregnant.

[Harbhajan]

Father, uncle held for killing daughter

Tribuneindia -Our Correspondent

Abohar, June 26

Pressure mounted by the Punjab State Human Rights Commission (PSHRC) forced the district police to arrest Dalip Singh and his brother Sher Singh yesterday allegedly for murdering Gurparwinder Kaur, alias Pinky, daughter of Dailp Singh, on January 2 this year. The accused have reportedly confessed that they strangled her to death.

Pinky lost her life for marrying Jasbir Singh of Jhugge Gulab Singh village against her parents' wishes, sources said.

Jasbir had been running from pillar to post since January this year when Pinky went missing, but none of the officers whom he contacted was ready to investigate the case. He then approached the PSHRC.

He said Pinky's parents were against their marriage so they eloped and got "Anand Karaj" (marriage ceremony) performed at a gurdwara in Bhumal village near Ludhiana on August 19, 2004. They had been working as daily wage earners since then.

According to him, Pinky's parents approached his maternal grandparents in Badha village near the international border to convey that they had finally resolved to approve the marriage. On their request, Jasbir sent Pinky with her father Dalip Singh and other relatives for a week. Since then she had been missing. The parents asserted that Pinky had gone back, but she never turned up.

The police had registered an FIR only under Section 364 of the IPC, but it failed to make any progress in the case, Jasbir alleged in a communication addressed to the PSHRC and the Chief Minister.

Now, the Sarpanch of Badha village produced Dalip Singh and his brother Sher Singh before the investigating officer where reportedly disclosed that they using a piece of towel strangled Pinky to death. They later took the body to Waring village near Muktsar and drowned it in Rajasthan feeder. The police arrested them under Sections 302 and 102-B of the IPC.