Rock

ਰਹੰਤ ਸੰਗ , ਭਗਵਾਨ ਸਿਮਰਣ ; ਨਾਨਕ , ਲਬਧ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਅਚੁਤ ਤਨਹ ॥੧॥
Rahanṯ sang bẖagvān simraṇ Nānak labḏẖa▫yaʼn acẖuṯ ṯanah. ||1||
The meditation of the Illustrious Lord alone remains with man, with which he is blessed through the saints, the sons of the Imperishable God, O Nanak.
ਸ੍ਰੀ ਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਹਿਤੇ ਹੈਂ: ਏਕ ਭਗਵੰਤ ਕਾ ਸਿਮਰਨ ਹੀ ਸਾਥ ਰਹਿਤਾ ਹੈ, ਪਰੰਤੂ ਵਹੁ ਹਰੀ ਕਾ ਸਿਮਰਨ (ਅਚੁਤ) ਅਗਿੜ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਕੇ (ਤਨਹ) ਸਰੂਪ ਵਾ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਜੋ ਸੰਤ ਹੈਂ ਤਿਨੋਂ ਸੇ ਹੀ (ਲਬਧੰ੍ਹ) ਪ੍ਰਾਪਤਿ ਹੋਤਾ ਹੈ॥੧॥
Thus, we can see Saints are Sons of God and important in blessing us with Simran.

This question often pops up . Does my husband or wife love me ?
Guru Ji says this is the only true love :
ਸਾਧਸੰਗ ਸ੍ਨੇਹ ਸਤ੍ਯ੍ਯਿੰ ਸੁਖਯੰ ਬਸੰਤਿ ਨਾਨਕਹ ॥੨॥
Sāḏẖsang snėh saṯi▫yaʼn sukẖ▫yaʼn basanṯ nānkah. ||2||
ਸਾਧਸੰਗ ਸ੍ਨੇਹ ਸਤ੍ਯ੍ਯਿੰ ; ਸੁਖਯੰ ਬਸੰਤਿ , ਨਾਨਕਹ ॥੨॥
True is the love of the congregation of saints, through which Nanak abides in peace.
ਤਾਂ ਤੇ ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਸੰਤੋਂ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤ ਮੇਂ ਜੋ (ਸ੍ਨੇਹ) ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਹੈ, ਸੋਈ ਸਤ੍ਯ ਰੂਪ ਹੈ, ਭਾਵ ਇਹ ਸਤ ਪਦ ਕੀ ਪ੍ਰਾਪਤੀ ਕਾ ਦ੍ਵਾਰਾ ਹੈ। ਸ੍ਰੀ ਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਹਿਤੇ ਹੈਂ: ਜਿਸ ਸਤਿਸੰਗ ਸੇ ਇਹੁ ਜੀਵ ਸੁਖੀ ਹੂਆ ਨਿਵਾਸ ਕਰਤਾ ਹੈ, ਭਾਵ ਜਨਮ ਮਰਨ ਸੇ ਰਹਿਤ ਹੋ ਜਾਤਾ ਹੈ॥੨॥

True is the love of the congregation of saints, through which Nanak abides in peace
Waheguru

Meher Baba,  a  well-known  saint  of  modern  India,  used  to  say  that a  mind  that  is  fast  is  sick,  a  mind  that  is  slow  is  sound,  and  a mind that is  still  is  divine. This  is  what  the  Bible  means  when  it says, “Be  still  and  know  that  I  am  God.”

http://api.ning.com/files/EQHcdzFMqFST60BaxROpWd3cwLbxoe367fHYM5UTSgVSrfP4v2uU4aLK5Y5V6TjXEXhFFXpVdjt7NByBtcsL9PcWLRGH-kVj/TheMantramHandbook.pdf

I am totally saving this.

I think when women argue they have this baggage of arguments in their mind which could be centuries old but they throw it at you to drown you with information with noise so that you cannot tune into the signal and lose . A wise man once said let women rant all they want but once they are done say what you have to say in one sentence and move on.

Everyone is a man. Some are seed-men and some are womb-men.  ;)                 /jk/s

ਏਕ ਕ੍ਰਿਸ੍ਨੰ , ਤ ਸਰਬ ਦੇਵਾ ; ਦੇਵ ਦੇਵਾ , ਤ ਆਤਮਹ ॥
ਆਤਮੰ ਸ੍ਰੀ ਬਾਸ੍ਵਦੇਵਸ੍ਯ੍ਯ ; ਜੇ ਕੋਈ ਜਾਨਸਿ ਭੇਵ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ , ਤਾ ਕੋ ਦਾਸੁ ਹੈ ; ਸੋਈ ਨਿਰੰਜਨ ਦੇਵ ॥੪॥
ਸਰਬ ਦੇਵੋਂ ਕਾ (ਦੇਵ) ਪ੍ਰਕਾਸ਼ਕ ਜੋ ਏਕ ਕ੍ਰਿਸ਼ਨ ਦੇਵ ਹੈ, ਸੋਈ ਤੌ (ਆਤਮਹ) ਜੀਵ ਰੂਪ ਹੈ॥
ਜੋ (ਆਤਮਾ) ਜੀਵ ਹੈ, ਸੋਈ (ਸ੍ਰੀ) ਸੋਭਾਇਵਾਨ ਵਾਸਦੇਵ ਕਾ ਸਰੂਪ ਹੈ। ਜੋ ਕੋਈ ਇਸ ਜੀਵ ਈਸਰ ਕੀ ਅਭੇਦਤਾ ਕੇ ਭੇਵ ਕੋ ਜਾਨਤਾ ਹੈ॥
ਸ੍ਰੀ ਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਹਿਤੇ ਹੈਂ: ਮੈਂ ਤਿਸ ਕਾ ਦਾਸ ਹੂੰ, ਸੋਈ ਨਿਰੰਜਨ ਦੇਵ ਪ੍ਰਕਾਸ ਰੂਪ ਹੈ॥੪॥☬ਇਸ ਉਪਦੇਸ ਕੋ ਪਾਇਕਰ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਣ ਕ੍ਰਿਤਾਰਥ ਹੂਆ ਔਰ ਇਹੁ ਸਲੋਕ ਗੋਪਾਲ ਪੰਡਤ ਲਿਖ ਕਰ ਸਰਧਾ ਸੰਯੁਗਤਿ ਅਪਨੇ ਪਾਸ ਰਖਤਾ ਭਯਾ।
 

Everyone is a man. Some are seed-men and some are womb-men.  ;)                 /jk/s

@BhagatSingh    But how do you take this in a real life work scenario .  How do you handle an angry supervisor or a colleague who tries to put you down for any reason. In that scenario, a little resilience is needed. How do you keep your thoughts Nirvair when you are angry at them. And keeping quiet is not an option since you might be seen as weak or doormat.

I really like this concept and my takeaway is to go to the level of thoughts and try to keep them pure regardless of what anybody says. And I like this idea of absorbing someones power haha.  Its kinda like Cell from DBZ ;)

Also if someone is doing your nindya then he or she is indirectly washing your dirt.  It could be a good thing in disguise. Just saying not promoting Nindya

I actually think my articulation is terrible, not at the level I want, and I see my posts as practicing my articulation.
It is a lot less tiring nowadays.  Before it used to be extremely tiring for me.
I started to notice that on some days I posted, it was not tiring. On other days I posted and it was extremely tiring and would leave me exhausted. And I paid attention to that.
On the days it was tiring, I was fighting people and resisting them. Even on days I was being polite in the forums, I was fighting them in my thoughts. I was giving them my power and I was wasting a lot of energy in the process.
I noticed that when I was pure in my thought and saw my posts as sharing (as opposed to resisting), a lot of wasted energy was saved. These days went by effortlessly.
Now I try to conserve energy by being like what Kabir ji is describing above. The same principle that he used to absorb the nindak's power is what I use to save my energy.

So if someone is thinking ill of me even if he is far away he is automatically giving me power. All I have to do is not think ill of anyone hmm  sounds like a good deal. 
But I don't have many enemies yet...time to make some  /jk

So this is the key to your success eh. Now I know your secrets.

Only if you maintain a pure heart during and after they slander you, meaning you do not slander them back even in your thoughts. If you maintain that type of purity of your thought, then it spiritually elevates your mental state. You will feel stronger as if you have absorbed their energy.
A good metaphor for this is the Vanar King Vali from the story of Ramayan. He had the boon to absorb half of his opponent's power. Whoever fought him, could not defeat him because he could simply absorb their strength. How can that be?
What a slanderer is doing is that they are giving you their power when they think ill of you or say terrible things to you. When you slander them back, you reject their gift of power, thus nullifying the effect of the boon. However if you accept their gift, you can absorb the slanderer's power and add it to yourself.
This was Vali's secret.
This is also a phenomenon they know about in martial arts.
 
Below Bhagat Kabir ji describes this in his own way -

ਗਉੜੀ ॥
गउड़ी ॥
Ga▫oṛī.
Gauree:

ਨਿੰਦਉ ਨਿੰਦਉ ਮੋ ਕਉ ਲੋਗੁ ਨਿੰਦਉ ॥
निंदउ निंदउ मो कउ लोगु निंदउ ॥
Ninḏa▫o ninḏa▫o mo ka▫o log ninḏa▫o.
Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me.

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਜਨ ਕਉ ਖਰੀ ਪਿਆਰੀ ॥
निंदा जन कउ खरी पिआरी ॥
Ninḏā jan ka▫o kẖarī pi▫ārī.
Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant.

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਬਾਪੁ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਮਹਤਾਰੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
निंदा बापु निंदा महतारी ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Ninḏā bāp ninḏā mėhṯārī. ||1|| rahā▫o.
Slander is my father, slander is my mother. ||1||Pause||

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ਤ ਬੈਕੁੰਠਿ ਜਾਈਐ ॥
निंदा होइ त बैकुंठि जाईऐ ॥
Ninḏā ho▫e ṯa baikunṯẖ jā▫ī▫ai.
If I am slandered, I go to heaven;

ਨਾਮੁ ਪਦਾਰਥੁ ਮਨਹਿ ਬਸਾਈਐ ॥
नामु पदारथु मनहि बसाईऐ ॥
Nām paḏārath manėh basā▫ī▫ai.
the wealth of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abides within my mind.

ਰਿਦੈ ਸੁਧ ਜਉ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ॥
रिदै सुध जउ निंदा होइ ॥
Riḏai suḏẖ ja▫o ninḏā ho▫e.
If my heart is pure, and I am slandered,

ਹਮਰੇ ਕਪਰੇ ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਧੋਇ ॥੧॥
हमरे कपरे निंदकु धोइ ॥१॥
Hamre kapre ninḏak ḏẖo▫e. ||1||
then the slanderer washes my clothes. ||1||

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਕਰੈ ਸੁ ਹਮਰਾ ਮੀਤੁ ॥
निंदा करै सु हमरा मीतु ॥
Ninḏā karai so hamrā mīṯ.
One who slanders me is my friend;

ਨਿੰਦਕ ਮਾਹਿ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਚੀਤੁ ॥
निंदक माहि हमारा चीतु ॥
Ninḏak māhi hamārā cẖīṯ.
the slanderer is in my thoughts.

ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਸੋ ਜੋ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਰੈ ॥
निंदकु सो जो निंदा होरै ॥
Ninḏak so jo ninḏā horai.
The slanderer is the one who prevents me from being slandered.

ਹਮਰਾ ਜੀਵਨੁ ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਲੋਰੈ ॥੨॥
हमरा जीवनु निंदकु लोरै ॥२॥
Hamrā jīvan ninḏak lorai. ||2||
The slanderer wishes me long life. ||2||

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹਮਰੀ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥
निंदा हमरी प्रेम पिआरु ॥
Ninḏā hamrī parem pi▫ār.
I have love and affection for the slanderer.

ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹਮਰਾ ਕਰੈ ਉਧਾਰੁ ॥
निंदा हमरा करै उधारु ॥
Ninḏā hamrā karai uḏẖār.
Slander is my salvation.

ਜਨ ਕਬੀਰ ਕਉ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਸਾਰੁ ॥
जन कबीर कउ निंदा सारु ॥
Jan Kabīr ka▫o ninḏā sār.
Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer.

ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਡੂਬਾ ਹਮ ਉਤਰੇ ਪਾਰਿ ॥੩॥੨੦॥੭੧॥
निंदकु डूबा हम उतरे पारि ॥३॥२०॥७१॥
Ninḏak dūbā ham uṯre pār. ||3||20||71||
The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across. ||3||20||71||
 

Bingo that's the difference.
She was responding to a remark that I made tongue-in-cheek. I was on the receiving end of her comment, and I knew she also meant it tongue-in-cheek.
There is a difference between poking fun and nindya. Just like there difference between friends teasing each other and bullying. Gurpreet and I are friends teasing each other's gender.
 
On the thread where I called you a femininst, I was trying to explain to you that because you are a femininst, any anti-male joke you make, will not be seen as a joke. It will be seen as distasteful. Now there I had to point that out to you because you were accusing everyone of sexism for not taking your joke as a joke.
Do you see the difference?
When Gurpreet says what she says, she does not mean it. When you say something similar, that can't be perceived the same way.
Similar to if a Brahmin/Scholar calls a Shudra/Labourer stupid. The Brahmin might be joking. And he might say "I am just joking". But it won't be perceived that way. It will be very distasteful.
If a Shudra calls another Shudra stupid, and says it's just a joke. Then it's not distasteful.
 
Repetition is also a factor. Bringing previous bitterness to other threads is nindya.
Like if I call someone blind in one thread, and the blind person responds back. And then I respond, and then he does, back and forth. Then that's a conversation. I made a mistake but that conversation was the end of that.
BUT if I start repeating that he is blind everywhere. If I start going to other threads, and I start saying "this guy is blind". Then that is going into nindya, bullying territory. It's no longer a mistake, it's deliberate bullying.
Unless he finds it funny and we are friends, it is bullying.

Well normally I don't give a shite about any of them. So why am I talking to her? She came to me in one thread and asked me why others are doing her nindya. So I advised her to not to do nindya herself because that's something she can control.
Had anyone else come to me, I'd advise them not to do nindya either.
A lot of people doing nindya on these forums bring nindya on themselves. They gladly partake in a nindya match with other members.
Look I also have some disagreements with Paapimaan on very fundamental things but we never get into a fight. Neither he does nindya of me, nor I do nindya of him. We disagree and we present the disagreements with whatever knowledge we have, then we are done. We move on.

Another takeaway - Don't mess (in anyway) with a Brahamgyani or a Spiritual person.
Gopal Datt's father or grandfather (who was a Pandit) became a dog, as he was annoying a Saint, who then called him a Dog.  
 
Bhul chuk maaf

Use this link and turn off all other options under preferences much better.   https://searchgurbani.com/guru_granth_sahib/ang/1353
 

ਸਰਬ ਸਬਦੰ , ਤ ਏਕ ਸਬਦੰ ; ਜੇ ਕੋ ਜਾਨਸਿ ਭੇਉ ॥   So the true Dharam for every human on planet is to meditate on Shabad.

ਜੋਗ ਸਬਦੰ , ਗਿਆਨ ਸਬਦੰ ; ਬੇਦ ਸਬਦੰ , ਤ ਬ੍ਰਾਹਮਣਹ ॥
ਖ੍ਯ੍ਯਤ੍ਰੀ ਸਬਦੰ , ਸੂਰ ਸਬਦੰ ; ਸੂਦ੍ਰ ਸਬਦੰ , ਪਰਾ ਕ੍ਰਿਤਹ ॥
ਸਰਬ ਸਬਦੰ , ਤ ਏਕ ਸਬਦੰ ; ਜੇ ਕੋ ਜਾਨਸਿ ਭੇਉ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ , ਤਾ ਕੋ ਦਾਸੁ ਹੈ ; ਸੋਈ ਨਿਰੰਜਨ ਦੇਉ ॥੩॥
 

ਗੁਰ ਪਰਸਾਦੀ , ਤਰਹਿ ਕੇ ॥Grace of the Guru !   WaaaHe GuRooooo