Amarjeet Singh_1737 Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 I have an amritdhari friend but hes got a big as problem. Due to some tensions hes become sexually active, he was pretty repressed before (we all know the Punjabi attitude), anyway now he cannot control his kaam and porn's become a big action. For some reason he just wants to have sex and get it done with out of the way. Its ruining a good chap. What can I do to save him??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSD1 Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Do a lot of physical activity (not of the sexual kind) so he isnt just sitting around idle with spare energy and try to get him to focus his mind on other thoughts/issues/hobbies. Or if he's old enough, just get him married off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amarjeet Singh_1737 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Do a lot of physical activity (not of the sexual kind) so he isnt just sitting around idle with spare energy and try to get him to focus his mind on other thoughts/issues/hobbies. Or if he's old enough, just get him married off. Hes 18, works as a budding student in the construction industry but wants to go to uni so is academically alright etc...... We have tried everything before (this isn't what it sounds like ok) but nothing works. What about female companionship???? You know like a female explaining to him shes not an object and lust is bad. Might get it across to him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSD1 Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 Definitely sounds like something that could help. I guess it could also be explained to him that with any kind of addictive behaviour, people will always fall off the wagon. It matters more that he doesnt feel its acceptable or that he doesnt go too far the other way and hates himself for his lapses either. Getting him to do stuff that keeps him from spending too much time near the internet might help too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipledgeblue Posted October 5, 2013 Report Share Posted October 5, 2013 He could get married, didn't Guru jis and purataan sikhs and singhs marry before 18 anyway? In old punjabi movies, Mehar Mittal used to be the chara admi, that used to make a girlfriend and marry her, because he had gone past the normal age for marriage, ie charra was a term for someone who hadn't married by 20 or so. Since most of us are single at chhara age, it's not much of a biggie if someone is behaving sexually at 18, it's just a result of being married later than when even the Gurus would have recommended. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Singh Posted November 15, 2013 Report Share Posted November 15, 2013 normal for his age as long as he doesn't over do it, washes his hand etc. and doesn't get caught. Sounds better then stealing and assault (the george carlin logic) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted November 16, 2013 Report Share Posted November 16, 2013 For some reason he just wants to have sex and get it done with out of the way. This is a harmful addiction. And the way to tackle it, or indeed any addiction, is to first become very aware of it and the space around it. I would advise your friend to pay close attention to his desires and his actions as they arise. He should become aware of his actions as he is doing them, and to become aware of the driving force. He should watch himself very closely. Almost like taking a flashlight and shining it on the behaviour as it occurs. This alone will provide lots of relief but it will also open the way for further improvements in his behaviour patterns. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Singh Posted November 26, 2013 Report Share Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) Best way to overcome a porn addiction is to become occupied with something else (like a hobby such as weightlifting or fixing an old motor car or painting), there is a reason why masturbation tends to be related to idleness and having too much free time on ones hands. Edited November 26, 2013 by JatherdarSahib 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted November 26, 2013 Report Share Posted November 26, 2013 there is a reason why masturbation tends to be related to idleness and having too much free time on ones hands. hee hee at the unintended pun..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Singh Posted November 27, 2013 Report Share Posted November 27, 2013 I don't think science has done enough to raise awareness in masses about masturbation, it's actually a very normal part of puberty. It's sad the bible and mohammdenism (islam'ism) have turned masturbation into an evil sin which did spread false stories such as masturbating will make you go blind. Too much over doing it would probably be more than once every day. There was a survey conducted by a popular uk newspaper that showed on average people seem to have sex on average once a week. Masturbation inbetween couples during intercourse is normal, it's usually called petting. Sadly our Sikh-punjabi culture frowns on talking about the sex issues and people need reliable information so it might be worthwhile reading about it on the nhs website. Apparently the hearsay about it all is less women masturbate then men, some say 40% of women do and 97% of men do apparently- there is scientific research being done into it. http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/goodsex/pages/masturbation.aspx 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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