Ragmaala Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 So if someone is looking at 10 potential wives, what should your drishti be towards that woman , what is acceptable in Sikhi ? Also, if you meet someone unexpectedly, and call her sister first out of respect or by default, but later on think that she could be a potential suitor, and talked to her about it . And if she says "its weird because I called her sister". Should I just take my hint that it is a woman's polite way of saying No & move onto the ones next in line. I think I already know the answer but it will be good to hear from my fellow men. @samurai@dalsingh101 Go ahead, rip me apart . Thanks . lol. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 Quote Also, if you meet someone unexpectedly, and call her sister first out of respect or by default, but later on think that she could be a potential suitor, and talked to her about it . And if she says "its weird because I called her sister". Should I just take my hint that it is a woman's polite way of saying No & move onto the ones next in line. I think I already know the answer but it will be good to hear from my fellow men. Yes and no! lol It depends how she says it. Women from conservative societies can't be seen as too 'hungry', so it may well be that she is playing coy to not look too desperate. Interact with her a little more if possible, see how she interacts. My feeling is that, if a girl really does like a bloke - she'll soon overcome that bhen ji bhen ji stuff. Unless you've been close like brother and sister for a long while, in which case you should see her as a sister only. You've been put in the lakhari zone! lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ragmaala Posted March 19, 2016 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 3 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said: Unless you've been close like brother and sister for a long while, No its only been a short while, < 1 month. 4 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said: My feeling is that, if a girl really does like a bloke - she'll soon overcome that bhen ji bhen ji stuff True that. You really can't negotiate attraction. Its either there or not. lol 5 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said: You've been put in the lakhari zone! lol Whats lakhari zone ? Writers zone ? Jus kidin. Some appropriate humor for the situation. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samurai Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 i wasn't a big fan of men and women calling each other bro and sis then later hooking up, we would call this the 'sister flex'..lol however... your situation is different and i would just advise stay friends, keep chatting and see what happens...now that she know's its not 'bhaji' talking to her maybe your convos will change too..she may change her mind. Good luck! That vids hillarious!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 Never liked jusreign but this video is hilarious lol If someone call me phenji or sister, I start thinking of that guy as a brother. Even if I like someone and that person says sister, that's it he's my brother now lol and my feelings are gone ( never happened but I Know it will work that way). I don't know about other women but me being not married I know there is one out there and for that reason I never call any guy brother unless that dude is married and is too old or young for me. We should not look with dirty eyes at opposite gender but at the same time we should not be calling them sister and brother when we don't know who is the one for us lol. Once I am married, I will start calling everyone veerji since I won't have to be careful but until then I only call someone veerji unless they call me sister or married and are too old and young for me lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 51 minutes ago, samurai said: That vids hillarious!!! i feel so bad about poor babbu guy...yeah this video was quite good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 Well in old times, your parents decided your match based on several factors, which we are mostly oblivious to nowadays. But anyways, in those societies, all the women would be bhen ji or mata ji, until the wedding day. :D In today's society, it's a bit different because we are doing it in a backwards, cave-man style, and picking up our own women by hitting on them. ;) So now you feel kinda stuck between the two traditions. I think you should Agree & Amplify to some degree but also tease her about it. Agree that it's totally weird then call her bhen ji as a way to tease her. Tell her she is a bhen ji type. Flip it around. She put you under a spell and made you call her bhenji. She has that effect on people. I would say go further and make it into a running joke. Make it a joke. I can think of so many. On your date, call her bhenji. On your wedding day, call her bhenji. On your honeymoon, call her bhenji. On raksha bandhan, call her bhenji. On your anniversay, call her bhenji. Call her a rapper, Ben G. Call her bungie. "I want to go Bhen ji jumping" Although you don't want to go that route if she is not confident in herself and her attractiveness. Then you might come across as a meanie. Or if you push too far... Disclaimer - Warning! do not take the above too seriously. It's just a prank bro! The members on this site have opinions that are not shared by SikhAwareness.com. SikhAwareness.com is not responsible for any ruined relationships. N30 made me say that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 11 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said: cave-man style, and picking up our own women by hitting on them. ;) lol nice pun 12 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said: SikhAwareness.com is not responsible for any ruined relationships. neo is probably scared of getting sued haha Thanks for the laugh man! 13 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said: But anyways, in those societies, all the women would be bhen ji or mata ji, until the wedding day. :D so true, and the relation would change right after reading the lavan path. And you wouldnt see her face until the honeymoon or first night...all covered in ghoongat. Scary eh... But there was no concept of divorce & so they had to work it out. Sometimes heaven , sometimes hell. lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 21 minutes ago, Gunahgar said: so true, and the relation would change right after reading the lavan path. And you wouldnt see her face until the honeymoon or first night...all covered in ghoongat. Scary eh... I dunno man. Never been there. I'm sure you'd have already seen her. You would most likely be living in the same village or neighbouring village. Love marriage is a not a new concept either. If you read Kama Sutra it describes how to get a wife, all the way from picking her up, attracting her to the wedding night. This document was written like a thousand years ago but it strikingly relevant to modern day. 2 hours ago, dalsingh101 said: You've been put in the lakhari zone! lol Do or do not, there is no rakhri zone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 14 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said: You would most likely be living in the same village or neighbouring village. uh no, i think that would be considered incestous (even neighbouring village). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 i think that the idea of considering women as sister (or guys as brother) is that you would show them the same respect and consideration as you would want someone to show your sister (or brother). its not meant to be literal adoption of them as your sister, unless of course you are married, or unless you are very sweet and innocent person. just like you might call other people 'mata ji', 'pita ji', 'dadi/dad ji' etc it doesnt mean you have actually adopted them as your parents/grandparents. am i wrong here? i agree you will be confusing someone if you address them as 'bhenji' then say that you like them in a 'different' way. if she liked you, she may have thought 'oh well he doesnt see me like that, might aswell accept him as my brother instead', then after that happened you turn around one day and explain it is not like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 Quote You would most likely be living in the same village or neighbouring village. Nah, my family told me that same village marriages were a big no-no. I don't know about now, but this was not acceptable in my parents generation's time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 3 hours ago, Gunahgar said: So if someone is looking at 10 potential wives, ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 what do you mean by '10 potential wives'? do you mean 10 women in your social circle? or 10 women you have been introduced with direct intent of rishta (i.e. because you are looking to get married). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 19, 2016 Report Share Posted March 19, 2016 57 minutes ago, Guest guest said: uh no, i think that would be considered incestous (even neighbouring village). Makes sense. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 1 hour ago, Guest guest said: what do you mean by '10 potential wives'? do you mean 10 women in your social circle? or 10 women you have been introduced with direct intent of rishta (i.e. because you are looking to get married). No of course not. What he means is that he converted to a pre-Islamic era religion that no one practices today. So having 10 wives is part of his daily penance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 1 hour ago, BhagatSingh said: Do or do not, there is no rakhri zone. True, there should not be any friend or rakhri zone. 1 hour ago, BhagatSingh said: If you read Kama Sutra any good links to original text... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 1 minute ago, BhagatSingh said: No of course not. What he means is that he converted to a pre-Islamic era religion that no one practices today. So having 10 wives is part of his daily penance. yes . Bhagat knows me better than anyone else. lol . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 @Gunahgar This is my go to website for ancient Indian texts. (I don't like the word Hinduism, because it's not one religion it is thousands of religions) http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/index.htm PS Kama Sutra is all the way at the bottom lol. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 Just now, BhagatSingh said: @Gunahgar This is my go to website for ancient Indian texts. (I don't like the word Hinduism, because it's not one religion it is thousands of religions) http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/index.htm If some lust is incited, i should take that as normal ? haha jus kidin man. Will check it out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 @paapiman What are your thoughts bro ? Whats your strategy to get married ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 @Gunahgar Lol if you feel lust, it is because you are a javan mard. We are supposed to feel lust. I would recommend to other javan mards that they should try to experience lust as a pure feeling and experience to be had in and of itself, rather than as a means to an end. No matter how happy that end. Same with anger, sadness, grief and all them panch chor stuff. They are like horses in your mind stable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BhagatSingh Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 3 minutes ago, Gunahgar said: @paapiman What are your thoughts bro ? Whats your strategy to get married ? Paapiman is like the Hulk from Avengers. "That's my secret cap'n, I am already married." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 1 minute ago, BhagatSingh said: "That's my secret cap'n, I am already married." If this happens to be true, it would be so hilarious. 3 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said: I would recommend to other javan mards that they should try to experience lust as a pure feeling and experience to be had in and of itself, rather than as a means to an end. No matter how happy that end. Same with anger, sadness, grief and all them panch chor stuff. Thats some deep stuff bro. I shall work on it sensei. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CdnSikhGirl Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 43 minutes ago, Gunahgar said: @paapiman What are your thoughts bro ? Whats your strategy to get married ? Paapiman will never be married. He thinks women are disgusting and beneath him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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