Noor Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 I am going through a difficult time right now. So many things are going wrong. I had not been doing well in uni and am being dismissed. This was a complete kick in the stomach as I had just found the strength and motivation I once lacked. For the past few years I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, when I looked ahead to the future, I saw nothing. I felt hopeless and depressed. Then just a few months ago it started to become clear to me about what I wanted to do in life, what degree I wanted to do. All the motivation and excitment I had once lacked, was now back. I was really looking forward to my lectures now since they were ones I was interested in. But unfortunately it seems it is too late. I know it is my own fault but to have finally have stepped out of darkness and into the light, only to realise it is too late, has knocked me down. I feel shattered. I dont know who to talk to. I dread the day I have to tell my parents. Today I have become what I had always feared, a failure. This is really bad because I never used to have any trouble with my education. I was always in the top 10% of my class. Now I have disappointed everyone, myself included. I dont know what to do. I just had to get this out, as keeping it all in is tearing me apart. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyDudesWassup Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Seems like you are feeling powerlessness and despair, I can only tell you what I'd do. To regain my power back I would have to conciously choose to be angry, I'd get angry at my parents (school etc.), doesn't matter who I blame. Anger is a big step up from despair. Then after I have regained my power by jumping from despair to anger and letting my anger out then I would feel frustrated. Frustration is a step up from anger. and from frustration it is easy to hope and before I knew it I'd be feeling alot better. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron-Singh Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Why don't you try applying to a college with lower entrance requirements? Remember, any education is beter than none. So maybe you can't become an engineer or get into med school...there are plenty of second-tier fields avialable. Try accounting, or some computer related diploma??? Just my suggestions. In the end, you'll be glad you did something, as opposed to getting stuck in some labouring job for the rest of your life. *Oh, and about the parents...that's a bullet you're gonna have to bite sooner or later. And it's gonna sting for a few months for sure. But then help your parents understand that, this is the reality, that I can either give up schooling all together and get some low paying job now, or try my luck at a lower-standard college. After inital fights and verbal abuse, your parents will come around to supporting you. This is gonna require alot of strength on your part, it's going to be tough facing your parents, and probably harder to face relatives. But once you've passed through this, then get on with your life. Don't look back. Forget about the fact that you've wasted a few years of your life. Think about getting some sort of diploma from a college and starting on your career. I know a few people who've passed through your situation. Some taking the easy way out (quiting school all together). If you need someone to talk to, PM me or continue posting here to help relieve some of your stress. And please don't contemplate suicide or something...hehe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheena Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 I am going through a difficult time right now. So many things are going wrong. I had not been doing well in uni and am being dismissed. This was a complete kick in the stomach as I had just found the strength and motivation I once lacked. For the past few years I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, when I looked ahead to the future, I saw nothing. I felt hopeless and depressed. Then just a few months ago it started to become clear to me about what I wanted to do in life, what degree I wanted to do. All the motivation and excitment I had once lacked, was now back. I was really looking forward to my lectures now since they were ones I was interested in. But unfortunately it seems it is too late. I know it is my own fault but to have finally have stepped out of darkness and into the light, only to realise it is too late, has knocked me down. I feel shattered. I dont know who to talk to. I dread the day I have to tell my parents. Today I have become what I had always feared, a failure. This is really bad because I never used to have any trouble with my education. I was always in the top 10% of my class. Now I have disappointed everyone, myself included. I dont know what to do. I just had to get this out, as keeping it all in is tearing me apart. All of us have felt failure at one point or another. Look at the bright side, it is a new start for you. Take this as a positive thing. What you went thru you had to go through to realize what you just realized about who you wanted to be. I do not see failure, i see simply a reason to make you realize what you needed to do. Nothing in this world happens without purpose or reason. If you are happy today that you have finallly found something you are passionate about studying then whatever event happened to make you realize this is not a bad thing rather it is a necessary event. See the brightness ahead of you, not the darkness that surrounds you. Take this as a stepping stone and move forward. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehtab Singh Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Brother, I have been in the EXACT same situation as yours. When I say exact, I mean exact word per word. Here are a few suggestions: 1. Tell your parents immediately, asap. Don't wait any longer. Trust me you will lose their trust forever if you don't tell them. 2. Don't lose hope, rather resolve to work harder and come out with flying colors in future. 3. Try studying something which you know you are good at and can be the best. All the best brother!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noor Posted February 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Thank you, each and everyone one of you, for replying. I really appreciate it. Iron- I'm not giving up on getting myself an education. I am currently in the appeal progess and will know the result in a couple of days. Then I will have to think of what to do next depending on what the result is. I'm really scared. HeyDudeWassup - I tried doing what you suggested, but the only person I end up angry with is myself. I have only myself to blame for this. And currently no ones support as I cant bring myself to talk to anyone about it yet. Pheena- You're right. Sometimes one hits rock bottom before touching the stars. God knows if that will happen in my case. And I do see other options. I can even re-enter uni if I attend college for a while and improve my gpa. In the mean time I could work and volunteer, something I have been wanting to do for quite some time. But there is still a problem. Parents and family wont be that easy to handle even more so because I am a GIRL. And you guys know how desi families are with girls. They will make up a million + reasons as to why this happened, most likely they will think I'm spending my uni time with some guy (which is not true). Mehtab - What did you end up doing? Has everything worked out for you now? I am scared guys 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double_edge Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Hey Noor, I've been there too man, with education going wrong. Dont waste any time, even while ur waiting for ur appeal to go through get something going in terms of a contingency plan. I fell a year behind in uni so i got myself a job for that time. Not only did i make some cash, but with Wahegurus grace that work experience got me the job i applied for after leaving uni. Also the people i met and the links i made during that year took me in new directions in terms of career opportunities. Point being, i know what that it feels like ur life is over, but its not. This is just another example of adversity, and overcoming adversity is what makes us stronger and equips us for the future. Im not gonna go into too much detail but beleive me, i know what it feels like to be down, and to think "well, thats it, game over!". But all things have a life span. these things do too. we just need to learn to ride out the storm.. Keep ur chin up. one way or another things will work out for u. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 i dont think its too late and urr..nothing to be scared of 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheena Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 I do understand you point of being a 'girl' in a desi family. Surely things will not go smoothly, and parents will not understand or will have a difficult time understaing the reason for your failure as they expected you to pass school with flying color. Regardless what has happened has happened. Have you talked to a counsler about this, to see if you can be put on probation or something so you can continue to stay in the Uni. I'm sure you have by now but you should explore all of your option. There is always one relation that a one feels closer to or feels more comfortable with, be it your mother, father, brother, uncle or whomever. I suggest if you have someone as such then go to them and tell them first. That way you can atlest have someone to confide in. As many others have given you great advice on how to deal with it, it is not the end of the world. My brother went to Uni for 7-8 years and only came out with a BS, hes got a good job. Sure he wasted few extra years, but for him it was necessary. What year in Uni are you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehtab Singh Posted February 2, 2006 Report Share Posted February 2, 2006 Mehtab - What did you end up doing? Has everything worked out for you now? I am scared guys By Gurujee's grace everything worked out fine and now I am studying what I like . Don't get scared you'll be perfectly fine. Just resolve to work harder. Before being honest to anyone else, you have to be honest to yourself. Most importantly, never trust such so-called friends who help you out in a way thats gonna destroy you in future. Temporary success is really sweet, but diabetes is a cruel killer as well 8) . Once again, all the very best brother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noor Posted February 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 Thank you guys! The appeal was approved so thats good. Now I just have to wait until the end of this week and then I will know if I stay for this quarter or then return for next quarter. I want to hug all you guys It might sound weird but, being able to tell you guys whats happening and you guys actually replying to my post, really helped me. Thanks for the support guys. It means alot to me. May Waheguru ji bless you all with a 100 sons Pheena: I'm in my fourth year. I'll still need another year-2 yrs to finish. Mehtab: Bro! :| *Jaappiiiiiii 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double_edge Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 100 sons!?! :shock: Somebody gonna get a hurt... real bad! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 100 sons somebody going to make them 100 nihangs..oh world is coming to an end then .. lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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