wahegurubol Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hello, there was a girl I still love , everything was going fine in between us, we both are amritdharis, but now for some reason the relation ship will break forever and wont materialise into marriage. I had promised to SGGS that I will marry her not anyone else and I accepted her as my wife. But I think at that time I was completely and wholly wrong to make such a promise and I think this relationship may not work as the girl is backing out. What you think I should, should I remain bachelor now? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaheediyan Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Ask your parents to find you a respectful Gursikh girl. I never quite understood this notion of making promises, taking oaths etc... it seems to me if a man says he is going to do something, then he should keep his word and do it, God sees all, but obviously you can only do that which is in your power. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maha Kharag Singh Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 you want the best advise? Go discuss it in the sikhsangat gupt section 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Javanmard Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 LOL Mod's NOTE : Yes this is serious topic will require serious replies. If you think this is funny, then take it over the pm please. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 LOL What are you laughing for, u IRANI admin cut ? is there no moderator here 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatehsingh Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Yes I'm sorry it seems you will have to remain a bachelor for the rest of your life as you have promised it. And if she promised with you too then she also has to remain celibate for the rest of her life. This is quite serious. I wish u both well and remain celibates forever this life. Its the best thing to do for u at this point since ur already 26. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 she did not promise only i had promised, but i think by promising i had made a mistake :_( 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shamsher Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Well if you break your promis that means you are making fun with Waheguru, it's like breaking your amrit. So fatehsingh is right you have to remain brahmchari all your life now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Well if you break your promis that means you are making fun with Waheguru, it's like breaking your amrit. So fatehsingh is right you have to remain brahmchari all your life now. but that promise was my MISTAKE.. my nadani,and God showed me .... that he doesnt accept my sanjog with that girl! .... by making that promise i tried to take hukam in my own hands and God proved it to me that I cant do it. moreover... we are not married until anandkaraj, and perhaps how we know, maybe God never accepted my promise... He can forgive me as a nadaan bacha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matheen Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 you made a promise to Maharaj - you must carry it out at all costs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akalisodhi Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 unless he chooses not to 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 but there are some sikh guys who told me that its okay and that Maharaaj ji forgives. ... afterall it is in the hands of Maharaaj with whom we marry and whom we dont... who are we infront of Maharaaji ji, not even a small ant, He controls everything. .. and if we make mistakes and promises in mistakes. I was also told... "Bekhari se raaja...raaja se bikhari"... first of all such a promise was never valid in the first hand... if it was then bikhari se raja aur raja se bikhari wali gul nahi hundi c. Chalia muktia also made promise they wrote their names on the paper that they donn belongto the Guru, but then the Guru tore that paper, if u know the story. anyways.. i need advice from sangat, what the sangat says that I will do it.. if everyone says dont marry.. I wont marry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akalisodhi Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 hold up....this might just be me.....but are you asking a internet forum whether you should get married or not! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Sangat Ji, I am not asking wether I should marry or not. I am telling the sangat of what happened with me and I really want to marry..but I dont want to take the wrong step ..... I want to know what should I do.. i dont want to take the wrong decision. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavita Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Veer Ji I really feel for you. I was in a similar situation before. Just trust in Maharaj and do simran and true love will come into your life.I'll pray for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Welcome to the Sikhawareness Forum Kavita! Peace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavita Posted October 14, 2007 Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 Thank you veer ji. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatehsingh Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 wb, I see that u want to still keep the relationship going but it's the girl that doesn't want to (for whatever obvious reasons). is this the case? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 yes fatehsingh ji thats right. actually i got a bit angry on the girl.. very little angry and her nature is very sensitive.. extremely sensitive..and she took it to her heart, so she wants to back out now. b4 she was also in love with me just as much as i was, but i made the promise.. not she. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akalisodhi Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 why is it that home slice is chatting bare waffle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinegar Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 Just go freaking apologise for being a fool (to Mahraj) and explain you probably won't be able to keep it. It was a stupid promise and Mahraj is not a dogmatic a**hole, they'll understand. Seems more to me like you went and promised, and Mahraj's reaction was 'pisht, like hell you will'...or something to that effect. Why people act like Guru Sahib is a sadistic little b*tch that waits for any opportunity to punish you I'll never understand...it's like you all went to Catholic school honestly get over it and quit whining, we don't exist to get married, there are other fish in the sea etc etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 thanks a lot vinegar. i use to pray day and night to maharaaj for that girl. i use to do simran all night long without sleeping for that girl, i did it for 3 months and maharaaj gave me her love and i was so in love with that girl that i had promised maharaaj that i wont marry anyone else... but you know every 2 weeks everything between me and the girl would go fine and then after 2 weeks everything would go bad and then good and then bad..it kept happening like this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matheen Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 u did simran wanting a girl as the fal?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinegar Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 thanks a lot vinegar. i use to pray day and night to maharaaj for that girl. i use to do simran all night long without sleeping for that girl, i did it for 3 months and maharaaj gave me her love and i was so in love with that girl that i had promised maharaaj that i wont marry anyone else... that's fallacy you did simran *of* that girl, not *for* that girl. simran is constant remembrance of Mahraaj, if you're thinking of the girl all night and asking God for her (let's ignore that we 're talkinga bout her like she's a bicycle or something) then you are not doing Simran, and at best your 'Simran' is jhoota 'cuz you did it for fal you want advice from a SIkh perspective? riK riK pYr Dry pau Drxw ] rakh rakh pair dhharae po dhharanaa || Carefully, carefully, I place my feet upon the ground. jq kq dyKau qyrI srxw ] jath kath dhaekho thaeree saranaa || Wherever I go, I behold Your Sanctuary. duKu suKu dyih qUhY min Bwvih quJ hI isau bix AweI hy ]15] dhukh sukh dhaehi thoohai man bhaavehi thujh hee sio ban aaee hae ||15|| Whether You grant me pain or pleasure, You are pleasing to my mind. I am in harmony with You. ||15|| Panna 1022, don't remember how to show the Gurmukhi naturally, you won't accept it seeing as it's not telling you what you want to hear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahegurubol Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 YES I AGREE WITH YOU THANKS. I DIDNT DO SIMRAN OF THAT GIRL.. I DID SIMRAN TO ASK GOD TO GIVE ME THAT GIRL..BUS. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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