dalsingh101 Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 Normally I can't stand this women, but I'm going to try and watch this with an open mind just to get another perspective. You can see a little video clip on the link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00frhxz Jasvinder's Story: Shame Travels Next Friday, 19:30 on BBC One (East Midlands, North East & Cumbria, Yorks & Lincs only) Jasvinder Sanghera ran away from home when she was sixteen to escape marrying a man she'd never met. It led her mother to declare that she was dead to her. Jasvinder has become a leading campaigner against forced marriage and has written two best-selling books about her troubled life. Jasvinder is now desperate for reconciliation. In a journey fraught with difficulty and personal risk, she travels to India to try to find a sister her family banned her from meeting. Related Links Jasvinder Sanghera’s Journey of Reconciliation Shame Travels is the story of one woman’s desperate attempt to contact a sister she was not allowed to meet because she dishonoured her family. Jasvinder Sanghera fled from her home in Derby to Newcastle-upon-Tyne to escape being sent to India to marry a much older man who she had only ever seen in a photograph. Her refusal to marry, aged just 16, led her mother to say she was "dead to her". Jasvinder is today the Founder/Director of Karma Nirvana - the charity that helps young British women to escape forced marriage. She is also the writer of two bestselling books: Shame and Daughters of Shame which chronicle her life-story and those of other women suffering similar experiences. The documentary follows Jasvinder’s final attempt at reconciliation with her family. Her father had told her that she could never go to India as she had dishonoured the family and that "shame travels". In India, Jasvinder travels to the Punjab with only an old photograph of her sister and the name of her father’s village. Once there, she sees the land and discovers areas that her father used to talk about. Despite his rejection of her, she says it makes her feel close to him again. Jasvinder told the BBC that thousands of British women are sent to India and Pakistan for marriage each year against their will, and believes it is a scam for their spouses to gain UK passports. She visits a refuge for young women who have been rescued from forced marriages by the Foreign Office and also meets a couple whose lives are in danger because they married for love. In her father’s village, Jasvinder discovers her aunt who tells her that her sister Bachanu (pronounced Bugenol) died six years ago. It’s a bitter blow for Jasvinder – but she’s not convinced her aunt is telling the truth. "I really wanted to meet her and tell her who I was," says Jasvinder. "I doubt she knew who I was because these people said my family never spoke about me." Before she leaves the village she meets an old school friend of her father’s and realises that he, like many others in India, see Britain as a destination point for their children - a place where they can have better lives. Jasvinder goes on to visit The Golden Temple in Amritsar, Sikhism’s holiest shrine, and a place her mother used to regularly visit. Here, Jasvinder explains that her mother would use the Sikh religion to justify her actions, including her decision to send her daughters to India to marry. At the temple, a Sikh elder validates Jasvinder’s work in Britain, and re-assures her that marriage against the will of an individual is not supported by the religion. "This is man-made oppression like any form of abuse," she says. And the final part of the journey provides a dramatic climax to Jasvinder's story. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SURYADEV Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 what is it about her or her work that you can't stand, dalsingh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laalsingh Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 She should not bunch pakistani women with indians. How many indian teenager girls you have seen being married to older men forcefully? I never saw anybody, but I saw number of girls who put kheh in their parent's sirr by marrying off some sullah or running off with some other misfit by taking advantage of freedom given by their indian parents. It is more common in paki families, as they are more conservative and matches are readily available as cousins. Some teenager girls don't like any control over them and can make up stories like this. Parents would be happy even if they marry somebody within the community at their own wish, forget about marrying some buddha from back home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Here it is for the UK crew: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00znwx2/Jasvinders_Story_Shame_Travels/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mithar Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 She should not bunch pakistani women with indians. How many indian teenager girls you have seen being married to older men forcefully? I never saw anybody, but I saw number of girls who put kheh in their parent's sirr by marrying off some sullah or running off with some other misfit by taking advantage of freedom given by their indian parents. It is more common in paki families, as they are more conservative and matches are readily available as cousins. Some teenager girls don't like any control over them and can make up stories like this. Parents would be happy even if they marry somebody within the community at their own wish, forget about marrying some buddha from back home. You have made some very valid points. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) Some teenager girls don't like any control over them and can make up stories like this. Parents would be happy even if they marry somebody within the community at their own wish, forget about marrying some buddha from back home. I agree. But this women's mum did seem to be a bit of a control freak. Plus seriously, I know that generation she is from, and certain parents were unbelievably pendu back then, like many people would struggle to imagine now. A lot of girls rebelled back then because they had absolutely no positive British raised Sikh female role models. I've seen a good few like that, really angry about the perceived 'oppression' they received. I believe a part of this was because they were comparing themselves to their white/black school friends and other media icons. She now seems to be projecting her experiences on other females of this generation, which I think is faulty. That being said, I'm sure there are still a few odd cases of forced marriage that still go on within our lot. But Laal Singh is right, this is more of a Pak/Bengali problem than a Sikh one. Or maybe things are really different up North with the community compared to south? The doc gave a glimpse into the Panjabi pind environment though. Some things were typical, like family feuds over land. lol In any case, what would you do if you had a daughter like that? I doubt many of us here would really push for a daughter to rigidly marry a stranger against her will in any case. Edited March 26, 2011 by dalsingh101 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parchand Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 think this is rare in our community in this generation. certainly not something to bother david cameron & bbc with. but then again if it feeds into the goray's agenda they'll broadcast it on every tv set in britain and make it the truth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Feminists are biggest traitor to their own Religion.She will never say that Pakistani /bengali girls condition is much worse because then She will loose her title of being liberal feminist as saying something against muslims strip your title of being liberal and puts you in category of islamophobic. In India where most Feminist are hindu's and say 100 things against hinduism but don't utter a single word against islam.The most biased law in India against women is that a muslim male can say 3 times talaq and just have to pay maintainance for 3 months Yet there is no Hindu feminist in India who utter a single word against this law. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalsingh101 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) Did anyone else think that the white guy she took to Panjab with her was a real life 'Shrek'? Anyway, you got another day or so to watch it if you haven't. Personally I think that maybe the fact that her daughter is marrying into an 'asian' (I think Sikh) family is a big factor in her wanting to reconnect to her family/roots myself. Probably will feel a way with pure white people turning up as guests at her daughters viah? At least she reconnected with Harmandir Sahib. Let's hope she calms down now. Edited March 30, 2011 by dalsingh101 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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