Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.

[GurpreetKaur]

28 minutes ago, CdnSikhGirl said:

Physical protection does not require obedience.  

How often does a situation arise where your life would actually need to be protected? Don't you think that maybe some seld defence classes will help too? 

What about the rest of 99% of the time? I am talking decisions like what car to buy, how to spend finances on home etc.  DO we need a new TV, etc.  There is no reason that the husband should have final say on everything and the wife has to obey.  We are talking about normal every day life.  Forget about life threatening situations for a moment.

I am talking about those husbands who demand their morning coffee, demand their supper and wont help. Demand the wife do all the baby diaper changes etc. And they both could have worked all day at jobs too.  But the in the evening the husband will come home sit on his butt watching tv while the wife has to work even more to meet his demands. Yes she might do it all out of love while he gets to rest and she doesn't. But is it fair? 

If she does not wanna do it she can say so,but if she choose to do it she would not become a doormat. True that self defense can help but most of the women expect men to protect them, the same way men will let a woman take care of kids and knows good cooking will come from her not a man. We are talking about "Majority" let's leave the bits and pieces out. 

Husvand never have the final words, maybe I live in a different world and my dad is a typical Indian man and he still takes moms suggestion and trust me you will describe him dominant since he only cooks when he wants and mom gives him food on sofa while he watch TV.

Eqaul rights are there but not in the literal sense, women don't like men who don't have control over their emotions however men will appreciate if a woman choose to cry front of him. Just do a survey and ask how many women will apreciate if a man holds a door for her, offer her help if things are heavy. In west, actually men treat women like they are weak, If I try to pick heavy things I get help like I can't do it. But if they see me carrying something even not heavy I hear oh you are strong. Hated in the beginning but now I am like yea do it lol .Different roles and rules make this world go around. 

 This is funny by the way lol

[GurpreetKaur]

4 hours ago, paapiman said:

When did Daas say that only men can achieve salvation?

Sister, women can also achieve salvation. There is no doubt in it.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Paapiman ji I think you did say it that women have to get a man form to achieve liberation. If you did not I apologize. 

[delibeli]

10 minutes ago, CdnSikhGirl said:

@delibeli Actually no my husband and his whole family believe in equality.  My husband and I are actually so well tuned that we practically finish each other sentences. He actually works with women empowerment and he actively fights for equal rights of women including in Sikhi. I am very fortunate he is my husband!!  He is an amazing person. Some of the guys on here would think that because he doesn't order me around, that somehow I am using my husband as a doormat. I am not.  Full equality of husband and wife are totally possible! I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that rather than one of us dying for the other in a fight, we'd rather fight side by side and die together. THATS how close we are. I can't explain it. We have a spiritual connection that is beyond words.  

Exactly you hit the nail on the head. Marriage is about LOVE and CARE for EACH OTHER.  It's not about who is in charge and barking orders. 

Also I never understood this idea that in a partnership of only two that one person always has to lead and the other always has to follow.  It can work when both are leaders. They will divert to each other and lead together. 

I am very happy for you.  You can see now how this 'doormat or ordering around' mentality can lead to so many problems in a marriage, can't you?  Alcoholism is not the only cause for domestic violence. Male chauvinism and IGNORANCE, which consists of taunts like you mentioned above can also lead to it.  Some men have totally convinced themselves that they have the god given right to order around their wives, daughters or even their sisters.  Equal partnership in marriage is beyond the comprehension of such men. It is possible, but they simply fail to either accept it or even try it out!  In my humble opinion, it is the men that need to go back to school and re-educate. I doubt it very much if they think for one minute that they are now living in the 21st century!!  They might dress,eat and walk  like they are, but they really only have to open their mouths and you will immediately notice they are not! You might as well ask, how is it possible?  Well, when we open our mouths to express what we think, others soon find out who we are.  It is not rocket science.  You don't have to be a psychologist to know we are what we think.  Our thoughts can either constructive or destructive, it all depends on our backgrounds.  We take our way of thinking with us when we form relationships.  Our thinking is one of the reasons wh so many relationships\ marriages end up in ruins. 

 

Well, love is a very mysterious thing.  So far no one has ever been able to define it.  I am referring to love and not lust.  Your love for your husband is that special spiritual kind of love and that's why you can't explain the spiritual connection it has created. It is your kind (true) of love that is beyond words and expression.  You are both very lucky to have found each other again in this life. So, good luck and have a happy life together.

[Rock]

Who is the mother, who is one's father and son and what is the pleasure of dailying with one's wife.who is one's brother friend, well wisher and relation and of what avail is the love of the family.Who is wealth, the embodiment of restlessness, which leaves man, before his very eyes.The meditation of the Illustrious Lord alone remains with man, with which he is blessed through the saints, the sons of the Imperishable God, O Nanak.

[Rock]

Just a reminder  Guru Ji says  " worthless is also the love of making merry with one's wife and sons. " if they make you forget God.

[paapiman]

1 hour ago, GurpreetKaur said:

Paapiman ji I think you did say it that women have to get a man form to achieve liberation. If you did not I apologize. 

Show me the proof, if you find it. Daas does not recall saying that. You do not need to apologize sister. Misunderstandings can happen in life.

Daas said the below:

• Women, who recite Sri Sukhmani Sahib jee, without any desire attain salvation.
• Women, who recite Sri Sukhmani Sahib jee, to become a man, attain Manukhi dehi

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Guest guest]

3 hours ago, CdnSikhGirl said:

Nobody on here has been attacked more than I have!  I have been called transexual fat, ugly, 'thing' for tying a turban. Not by one person but by two now! I have been called liar because I pointed out to the forum how chatanga tried to get me to leave the forum in a PM, I have been called nindak, guru nindak, etc because I questioned charitars, chatanga has now even lied about me saying the gurus were false which I never did (as someone earlier pointed out).  I have been called heretic ( again because I questioned the charitropakhian) and recently I have been called utterly disgusting because I believe our Gurus spoke out against menstruation being a mark of impurity or uncleanliness by our Gurus (in Gurbani) and that seva should be able to be done by anyone at any time as long as their heart / mind are pure.  Show me anyone who has been called any worse on this entire forum!   But any time I try to defend myself against any of it, its like everyone sees what they want and have blinders to what I was subjected to!  Except @Koi thanks so much for saying something in that thread about turbans. I really appreciated it!  

Even worse a few members from my local sangat have been on here recently and have been seeing it.  They keep telling me why do I keep coming here? 

hi that is of course really bad.  i apologise for not mentioning you but i think alot of this happened before I started posting only recently, so I honestly wasnt aware of it.  this is what i mean about personal attacks etc coming under bullying

[Guest guest]

oh yes and the recent thread where someone threatened to slap Bhagat Singh (I think they were being ironic though not sure)

apologies if i forgot anyone else, seems theres alot of nastiness on this site

[chatanga1]

4 hours ago, Guest guest said:

 people are also harrasing Chatanga constantly.  even though Chatanga doesnt come across as a pleasant person, that does not mean its right to be continually attacking him. 

 

I am not pleasant to people who are working to undermine the Guru Khalsa Panth.

 

3 hours ago, CdnSikhGirl said:

I have been called nindak, guru nindak, etc because I questioned charitars, chatanga has now even lied about me saying the gurus were false which I never did (as someone earlier pointed out).  I have been called heretic ( again because I questioned the charitropakhian) 

 

Questioning anything in Sikhi is not taboo for anyone. But when the answers have been provided and you still spread lies on facebook then you are a nindak. You had no intention of learning and placed your own intellect above the Guru's intellect. You can bleat all you want, create as many "guest" ids as you want but you can't hide from it.