HisServant

@Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later.
But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward? 

@Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later.
But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward? 

@Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later.
But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward? 

@Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later.
But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward? 

This is all very good and will pretty much act like a barrier for so many diseases like cancer. 
 
I have been using the zerowater filter. It's very good. I will probably buy the pink salt when I get some time. But the rest will have to wait until I'm back from England. I do take a multivitamin so that has been helping a lot.

It's a technique called advaita vedanta. I aim to stay with my own "awareness". When I started years ago, I would ask myself a series of questions:
"who am I"
"Am I this body?.... If I lost my arm, am I still me?.... If I'm still me, how does this body define who I am?.... Am I these thoughts?.... These thoughts come and go and are eventually forgotten... how could I be these thoughts?"
I would go as deep as I could go. And eventually I'd get to a point where there would be just pure awareness, thoughtless and just observing any sensory information that came in, no judgement or interpretation. Current day, I typically don't need to start with those questions. I can jump straight into the awareness and stay with it day and night. But this has taken years to develop. I do the same with shabad and parkash as well. I observe the experiences that arise and it helps me merge into them. 
I get rid of all attachments to theories and techniques by forcing the mind to stay unbiased and non-judgemental. 

It's a technique called advaita vedanta. I aim to stay with my own "awareness". When I started years ago, I would ask myself a series of questions:
"who am I"
"Am I this body?.... If I lost my arm, am I still me?.... If I'm still me, how does this body define who I am?.... Am I these thoughts?.... These thoughts come and go and are eventually forgotten... how could I be these thoughts?"
I would go as deep as I could go. And eventually I'd get to a point where there would be just pure awareness, thoughtless and just observing any sensory information that came in, no judgement or interpretation. Current day, I typically don't need to start with those questions. I can jump straight into the awareness and stay with it day and night. But this has taken years to develop. I do the same with shabad and parkash as well. I observe the experiences that arise and it helps me merge into them. 
I get rid of all attachments to theories and techniques by forcing the mind to stay unbiased and non-judgemental. 

Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs. 

Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs. 

Thank you @Sat1176. You and @Lucky were the one's who always kept me motivated and on my feet. Your posts back in 2014/2015 gave all of us a big push. So much of my learning came from this site. 

Hello, first of all sorry for the late reply. I was on Christmas break and much of it was focused on development so I haven't been online much. But I am going to reply to everyone one by one. 
Thank you @harsharan000 for the encouragement. I second the point on the mind attacking when you least expect it. We've all been there time and time again. You've also done a lot of great work inspiring and contributing to this site. And I thank you for that. 

Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs. 

Completely agreed. The first person I reached out to after my God-Sister was a saint in Vancouver. I gave him a call and also read him everything I wrote while I was in that state. He confirmed everything and said I was on track. He said the reason why the experience occurred was because I let go of my attachments. I'm not saying anything against Saints, the moral of my post was on "attachment". I spent years being attached to the physical form of my teachers. I lived and breathed their names. I was doing bhagti for them and not Waheguru. They were even the one's who told me not to fall into that same mind trap. But I was stuck in it for years. It was the moment that I let go of the attachment to my teachers, friends, family, materialism and everything else in my life that this breakthrough occurred. 
And as a side note - I have spent most of my life avoiding reading up on experiences. I've even only used this forum to post my own experiences in hopes of receiving guidance from people like @BhagatSingh, @Sat1176, @Lucky and the occasional guests who come out of no where and just blow your mind with new information. I'm not doubting this could have been an illusion. That's always a possibility for anyone. But on the bright side - ever since the experience (or illusion) occurred, my life has changed in a way that cannot be reversed. As I walk around, shabad is loud because the mind is still and silent. There's never a time where I close my eyes and can't see parkash (prior this was a challenge I had). It only takes a few moments of meditation to enter into states that used to take me over an hour. I feel free. I have no worries about student debt, or being successful, who hates/likes me, or any other form of worry. I just have an internal realization that Waheguru is taking care of everything. And also that I've never been the "doer" in this life. Whether I die of illness or build a large amount of wealth, it's all the same and in god's hands. Everything happening around is just a show created by waheguru and the one sitting inside is just observing everything. 
I still do have emotions that arise. The amount the mind is absorbed in shabad and parkash varies. Sometimes more and sometimes less. And the awareness of the inner god consciousness also varies. Sometimes it's a lot more and sometime's it's a lot less. I'm still on the spiritual progression roller coater where some days are better than others. But overall, it's a completely new playing field. My spiritual goals are different. The goal a few weeks ago was to see some next level dimensions or experience something unimaginable. But now the goal is to disappear. Completely disappear as the person who thinks he is inside this body. And live in the realization that there is nothing but waheguru inside and outside of this body. 
The sights that I'm seeing on a daily basis, however, are still indescribable. When I come out of my meditation, there's a very noticeable level of subtle energy everywhere. I burst into laughter because I feel so detached from "reality". In Punjabi they use the word "amli" (druggie). Except the addiction is this mental silence. From this mental silence, arises all of these sounds and sights that completely alter how the world is experienced. But even with everything that occurs on a daily basis, the greatest craving is that internal sense of peace and freedom. 

lol I was gone for a while eh? I'm not a doctor yet. I'm still applying to med school and just waiting to see what happens. There were times where I went through a lot of worry about my career but now I've been able to sit with the internal realization that waheguru is the one in control. Whether the med school acceptance comes or not is on God. In one moment, beggars become kings and the next, kings become beggars. I've always been a very paranoid and anxious person. But it's been so relieving being able to remain laid back and focus on one day at a time. 
Shabad - sound of god's voice. It's an internal sound that's heard once you're at a certain point in your progress. Parkash - is somewhat/sort of like a light. I'm not going to get into any further details because I don't think these things should be described publicly. It's better to experience them, and then have them confirmed by someone who's decently far into their spiritual journey. 
I don't do much chanting anymore. I do sometimes, usually in sangat. But most of the time I can just tune into shabad and close my eyes to look at parkash. And then just let the mind melt into them and go from there. There's a technique called rom rom Simran that I do use a lot of the time to give myself a bit of a booster. 

Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs. 

Completely agreed. The first person I reached out to after my God-Sister was a saint in Vancouver. I gave him a call and also read him everything I wrote while I was in that state. He confirmed everything and said I was on track. He said the reason why the experience occurred was because I let go of my attachments. I'm not saying anything against Saints, the moral of my post was on "attachment". I spent years being attached to the physical form of my teachers. I lived and breathed their names. I was doing bhagti for them and not Waheguru. They were even the one's who told me not to fall into that same mind trap. But I was stuck in it for years. It was the moment that I let go of the attachment to my teachers, friends, family, materialism and everything else in my life that this breakthrough occurred. 
And as a side note - I have spent most of my life avoiding reading up on experiences. I've even only used this forum to post my own experiences in hopes of receiving guidance from people like @BhagatSingh, @Sat1176, @Lucky and the occasional guests who come out of no where and just blow your mind with new information. I'm not doubting this could have been an illusion. That's always a possibility for anyone. But on the bright side - ever since the experience (or illusion) occurred, my life has changed in a way that cannot be reversed. As I walk around, shabad is loud because the mind is still and silent. There's never a time where I close my eyes and can't see parkash (prior this was a challenge I had). It only takes a few moments of meditation to enter into states that used to take me over an hour. I feel free. I have no worries about student debt, or being successful, who hates/likes me, or any other form of worry. I just have an internal realization that Waheguru is taking care of everything. And also that I've never been the "doer" in this life. Whether I die of illness or build a large amount of wealth, it's all the same and in god's hands. Everything happening around is just a show created by waheguru and the one sitting inside is just observing everything. 
I still do have emotions that arise. The amount the mind is absorbed in shabad and parkash varies. Sometimes more and sometimes less. And the awareness of the inner god consciousness also varies. Sometimes it's a lot more and sometime's it's a lot less. I'm still on the spiritual progression roller coater where some days are better than others. But overall, it's a completely new playing field. My spiritual goals are different. The goal a few weeks ago was to see some next level dimensions or experience something unimaginable. But now the goal is to disappear. Completely disappear as the person who thinks he is inside this body. And live in the realization that there is nothing but waheguru inside and outside of this body. 
The sights that I'm seeing on a daily basis, however, are still indescribable. When I come out of my meditation, there's a very noticeable level of subtle energy everywhere. I burst into laughter because I feel so detached from "reality". In Punjabi they use the word "amli" (druggie). Except the addiction is this mental silence. From this mental silence, arises all of these sounds and sights that completely alter how the world is experienced. But even with everything that occurs on a daily basis, the greatest craving is that internal sense of peace and freedom. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

Hello everyone, 
I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 
1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 
2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 
3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 
4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 
5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 
6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 
7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): 
- "i cant watch this right now"
- "but waheguru has s everywhere’s"
- "i did simran all fay"
- "i hit something big"
- "waheguru will take care of everything"
"thats it"
8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message:
"I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out
and i felt like i could talk to god
and i felt taken care of
and that there was no need to stress over anything 
and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here
and waheguru is taking care of everything 
and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given
to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc
i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it
and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad
and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru"
Another message that was sent the next day:
"it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.:
9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. 
This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is. 

I live a pretty busy lifestyle but I put meditation at the front because it helps me in every aspect of life. 
 
I'm trying to become a doctor so this entire summer is just me studying for my mcat. I'm really career focused. I am one of the directors on the board of my local hospital. I was actually probably the youngest to ever join - at the age of 17. And I owe that to the bhagti for sharpening my confidence and helping me approach problems with a lot of patience.
I have also spearheaded/been lead on a few major projects for both the hospital and other healthcare related work. Again - the calmness that bhagti leaves you with is responsible for this.
I have worked in academia, research, published a scientific article on meditation and neuroplasticity, edited a science vs meditation textbook (not released to the public yet but will be soon - the prof in charge will be selling it to profs who teach spirituality courses at universities) etc. Meditation helps you learn and study because you're not easily frustrated when you can't figure something out.
I also work for the universities student union, been the student media spokesperson for the past provincial election. (But as of last week have taken some time off to focus on my test). Really involved with helping the local gurdwara and running its social media (I live in a city which is/was primarily white growing up so got really involved with the gurdwara due to the small sikh population).
 
I don't know if any of that is meaningful though lol. It probably sounds really boring but I love all of this. Especially the science stuff - I am a huge biology nerd. And I love brains (lol... don't be creeped out)
Plus part of a lot of clubs, services, etc at school. However... no longer part of the sikh student association... essentially banned for speaking out against anything that goes against popular belief. There was a time when I would stay silent and heavily help out. But I couldn't sit around and listen to people talk about topics like "possible sikhi-related solutions to mental health" but not hear anyone say anything about the path of japa - then be told jaap isn't part of sikhi. This is a longer discussion, but you know exactly what I'm talking about with the views of most of the community these days. And I couldn't sit around and watch them pretend like they can't be friends with non-sikhs, or their lack of professionalism in certain academic/career related environments. 
 
Non-academic side I have a kirtan ustaad - not going to mention his name because many know him - and it would give away who I am. But I think that goes hand in hand with bhagti. Kirtan has always helped me increase love for god and motivate the mind to do more bhagti. 
I used to work out 7 days a week but I am so tight on time these days I fell off of that. Can't start back up until september because I have my mcat on Aug 2 and then I'm back in England until September. But main reason for the 7 days was that it had tremendous benefits on meditation. Back then balancing breath was a struggle and the lifting got the job done. 
Also do cryptocurrency day trading... it's pretty fun. Busy with studying right now so I set up a bot to do it for me.
Socially I would consider myself pretty extroverted. I have a habit of being friends with/starting a conversation with every second person I see on the street. I know a lot of people which is good and bad in many ways. As of now, it's been not the best because someone always wants to go for lunch or hangout but I need to study and do bhagti. But on the brightside - if I do notice someone is not the best sangat, I am able to drop them immediately and never look back. Due to the detachment. Doesn't matter how close they are. Even dropped a 12 year long friendship because I realized the guy is completely immersed in the same sikh-youth mindset as everyone else and I didn't want to waste my time there. I don't care what I say in any situation - I just freely speak whatever is on my mind. Could not care less what people think. I don't see any reason to pretend to be someone else. The meditation has brought on this freedom. 
 
I love cars as well. I drive a manual audi. Probably my most valued possesion. This one doesn't relate to meditation but I think it's one every guy on this site can relate to. Only thing I can think of is the attachment to it. I did have a situation a little while back where something went wrong... and long story short the mechanic said the price to fix it was more than the car itself. The initial thought was "cool, I'll just sell the parts, buy some cool shoes and start walking wherever I go". Which a year ago, I probably would have flipped and gone into depression. Luckily, I took it to an old friend and he figured out a way to make it as good as new without spending more than $20.
 
So essentially, I would say meditation is the only meaningful activity I do because none of my other activities would exist/have meaning without it. It has literally created a life of complete freedom where I just do what I feel like doing with no care for the consequences. Which is not a bad thing because with sikhi/gurmat, you never have ill intentions.
 
When a lot of people talk about bhagti, they say you can't do things you enjoy, or hangout with non-bhagti type people... but honestly 85%+ of my social groups are people who are not Sikh. Less than 3-5% probably do bhagti (I just have this forum and a local simran group that I only see a few sundays a month). 
 
So all I have to say to people that live in that closed off mentality is... LIVE LIFE. Do what you have to do in tregun on a day to day basis. And then when that's over, learn to connect internally. 
 
Obviously, that does not mean go drink and party everyday. I still practice brahmachariya, I still restrain myself from indulging in unhealthy food, I restrain from the 4 kurehits, I read gurbani everyday and do kirtan, I wear my kakars. But... I live life in a way that is enjoyable and integrates with western society. You don't have to be "the religious" guy in every social situation that makes other people feel like they can't have a good time (I used to be that guy many years ago). You need to live life in a way where you integrate into society and inspire other people to do jaap. Find what you enjoy in life and be the life of that group. The greater the mental stability, the more you will enjoy the activity. 
 
And just an fyi - I know a lot of the activities I stated above may not be appealing to most people. I am that weird 20 year old nerd that likes to wear a dress shirt/tie all the time and read science or psychology articles/watch videos on politics. It's just the type of person I am... But I do know people around my age who practice meditation and still do all of the same activities young people do but they remain detached internally. My younger brother for example, he's a huge basketball fan. Even runs a big instagram fan page. Dresses like every other 17-18 year old you see these days. But interally completely silent. He hasn't been practicing for as long but the differences I see between him and his friends are insane. 
 
I know this was a really long post - but I have very strong opinions when it comes to balancing tregun with spirituality. 

A lot of wacky things are starting to happen so I may stop sharing some certain experiences because I’m not sure if certain things should be shared. This may possibly be one of the last few posts. 
 
Last night 
I was trying to go to sleep sounds were getting louder. For the first time it felt as if I was connecting emotionally to the sound. It was a type of love that I can’t describe. It was a very blissful experience. And then it started feeling like the sound was communicating and sending me a message. Something along the lines of “come back to me”. 
 
This morning
I spent a few hours circulating between saas grass, saas saas and rom rom
I was hearing a whole bunch of sounds after. Besides the conch, there was a flute type. Then it would become a stringed instrument type vibration, cymbals etc. It was just circulating sound to sound 
at one point I was looking straight at my bedroom wall and saw something like a star flash for a moment 
a bit later into the afternoon I kept getting drowsy and then just knocked out on the couch. I woke up somewhere but everything was blurry. It didnt seem like a dream. But I can’t figure out what I was seeing or where I was. It was just a blend of colours and figures. I think I saw something like a blur of light that seemed like it had life to it or something. It was all just really confusing. I have no idea what it was
in the meantime my brother was yelling my name to wake me up because I had to go drop him off. It was extremely hard getting up but once I did the first thoughts were “what just happened?” “did I just die or something?” Just like last time I just couldn’t get up. 
Ever since I’ve woken up I’ve felt as if I was in a dream. I am just now starting to wake out of it
 
But again, not sure if I should be saying any of this. Imagine going up to your doctor and saying “the sounds are talking to me and my walls are vibrating” LOL. Might end up being sent to a mental hospital to be checked out

@Lucky or anyone else who might know this -
 
A lot of times you have people on this forum who say they are getting a lot of pressure in their trikuti area. For me right now, it is in the nose. Not sure if people have it in other areas of the body. 
 
But as soon as the pressure is gone the breath is perfectly balanced. 
 
Any idea what the reason behind this pressure is? I think I've heard someone say it has something to do with the naadi's clearing up.
 
It's odd because for some reason it feels like the pressure is moving down the ida, pingala, sukhmana system. It started in the trikuti but then cleared up. Now it's moving down the nose. Happens in the right, left and centre. And I physically feel something opening up while doing simran, it's like something is cracking open and then the breath starts to flow through. I believe triveni area is where this mainly happens... or in that spot in the upper nostril where the breath enters each side. After heavy saas girass it's gone.