Urgent Help Required!

[das007]

VJKK VJKF

Sangat ji das wants to know if there are any dereh in India that are in line with gurmat. Das is currently in uni and wants to leave and and spend his life doing simran and reading bani and be in company of a saint/s to help him reach high avasta and meet god. Currently das is amritshak but wants to leave as das sees no point in living here.

Also das can't see any spirtual progress but das has been praying hard for years now which das completely owes to guru but still no progress. Das has tried so hard but can't see a way forward in this way of living but das knows about many sadhus and saints that are of high avasta. So das wants to spend life with them to progress. Also das with the help of guru has persuaded das's other amritdhari friend who was going to marry, to break his marriage engagement and to join him as he feels the same way.

Anyway sangat ji please can you provide a list of dereh that will help please.

Also before you reply you can read the another forum das has posted to already but the thing is that das has not got any names of sants ete. Please help das. http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/53930-urgent-help-required/

Vaheguru sareh di madat kareh

[Xylitol]

to be honest, the real spiritual tests are out here as well. a lot of times in deras, we think we'll meet all spiritually advanced people or serious people, but the truth is, there are all sorts living in deras too, even if the dera is in line with Gurmat. many of the people who can't hack it in the real world, go and join deras/monastaries for that reason. i don't mean to disappoint you, but you should be aware of the reality before you take off. that being said, living in a dera for awhile is excellent to build up one's discipline, as it can be hard to build it up by one's self.

there are a number of deras out there in line with gurmat. there was actually a thread on sikhsangat about aslee sants not too long ago, i imagine most of those would meet your criteria as well.

i've heard that baba thakur singh ji bhindrenvale said that jogayvale sant, baba santokh singh ji joti saroop wale, and jathedar kulwant singh ji of takht hazoor sahib are all gurmukh avastha wale sants. baba ajit singh ji hansali wale is also bhramgiani.

that all being said, what is your reason for wanting to live in a dera, if you don't mind me asking? sometimes the reason a person feels no progress is b/c they push themselves too hard, and don't relax.

Edited July 3, 2010 by Xylitol

[PAL 07]

what are parents views - are they happy for u to go.

i suggest you go for a while 6months perhaps then come back,

[das007]

veer ji, it is not just about going to a derea, it's about the mahapursh that is there that can help das to attain an avasta. But thanks for your message Ji. Doing seva for a saint is huge and you get a lot of bhakshish and progress. You can progress in gristh jeevan but Das is sure that the speed of progress is by ten fold if followed and listened to the saints bachans.

Das's parents at first were cool with this but now they are a little worried and trying to get das married of.

[Mithar]

Das Bhaji, it is good you have the hunger inside you for spiritual progress. Why not just try to go to India during the summer and have darsan of some Mahpursh and come back home after a few months? You don’t have to leave everything bhaaji. My main point is your parents. Now that you are Javaan, it is your duty to look after them and their needs. Serving ones old parents/grand parents is also a form of bhagti. If you have another brother, then that is good, but if you are the only son then you should not leave your parents.

Also bhaaji if you want to progress spiritually, then please do a few things. Keep strict Amritvela, do nitnem, do atleast one paath of Sukhmani Sahib, and spend atleast 3 hours to do Naam Simran everyday and last but not least go to the Gurdwara do to langar/cleaning seva. If you can do this everyday, you will be a changed man.

[PAL 07]

BE FLEXIBLE AND NOT SO RIGID....GO FOR A WHILE SEE HWO YOU FEELIN 6MONTHS TIME.

THE ALL OUT IM BEING A SANYASI SADHU IS WRONG....THE GREAT MAHAPURKS DONT BECOME, THEY ARE MADE, BY THE CREATOR B4 HAND SO JUST GO WITH THE FLOW. AS YOU GROW OLDER YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CHANGE.

DAAS ONCE MADE UP THE SAME MIND AND HEADED FOR HAZUR SAHIB BUT MY FAMILY STOP ME.

NOW IM GLAD I NEVER WENT AS I HAVE MORE BAKSHISH NOW....

END OF THE DAY SIKHI IS UNIVERSAL, YOUR JUST RUNNING FROM YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES..

IF YOU WANNA BECOME A SANT BE ONE HERE IN THE UK JUST TELL YOUR PARENTS U DONT WANNA WORK AND WANNA DO ABYASS.....LETS SEE HOW LONG YOU WILL LAST ???

[Ragmaala]

Dhan Dhan Baba Nand Singh Ji used to say that a person who has elder parents in his home does not need to go anywhere. If you go on looking for brahmgyani sants , you will only be disappointed. These gems are rare and you cannot find them just anywhere by going to various deras. Hold your horses for now. Go to India for a while , not on a permanent basis. Do lots of Sukhmani Sahib and pray to Guru Ji that he sends a Brahmgyani Mahapurash to you. You do not have to go anywhere... just give it some time and think about it. Don't rush just yet.

Doing seva of parents is one of the greatest bhagtis. Unless you have reached a very high avastha where you cannot live without meeting God even for a second , you cannot sleep 24/7, and you cannot eat or drink , it is advisable not to leave your family just like that.

True mahapurash are rare to find, you need lots of bhagti for that and keep doing ardass in charan kamal of Guru ji.

[PAL 07]

i agree with RAAGMALA - Dhan Dhan Baba Nand Singh Ji themselves went and met Baba Ishar Singh and told them to be sevadar - go to dera youll just get used as and wont get anywhere, you wont learn nothing...Theres too much kaljug in India, less here at the moment i would say.

if you wanna go India then learn a vidiya, sangeet, gurbani, katha,santhya,gatka.

[jaikaara]

i would advice u to spend some time observing the deras and all the mutts and samaparday u think will do u any good..veer ji u r going against the guru's hukam by breaking yor friend's marriage, guruji has adviced the grihasth asharam since the most difficult karma is managing the family.

first go to those people , its not easy to stay as in the old days, the soaring dal and roti prices are keeping accounting in place and u cant live on charity, u have ot earn yorself.

the life u r seeking is due to some wild fascination of that 'avastha' ...someday u might even hate yorself for taking such decisions. give yorlsef time and dont dive into such decisions.

i would say earn and plan yor earnings to do seva, shastar and shaastar(granths) learning and helping others learn will enhance yor life and other's too.

[Mr Sardar]

My opinon there is more Sikhi in the west as for avastha, you will get hints from maya all the time, what the people around you say about you.. including your parents on how to improve- such as fix krodh, kaam etc. There is alot of Sikhiii alot-- but you will get the sangat your kamai gets you. If you want to see real powerful saints (saints are not just limited to Sikh school of thought they come from every religion - "nai koi hindu, nai koi musalman") what you need to do is focus on improving yourself to the next level - its from 3 things "Simran, Sewa and Satsangat" you need all 3- to do all you need sangat of people with kamai, go to gurdwara diwans go around - go to kamai wale jatha damdami taksal, akj, neshkam sewak jatha, nanaksar, rarasahib, all these movements have alot of Sikhi but be careful with the negativity push the positivity it is easy to fall into traps, learn keep learning. Sikhi is where guru maharaj kirpa is you do not need to go on pilgrimages maharaj is everywhere- and most of all Guru Nanak taught grist jeevan you can attain God living in a family in fact a family will help you more- live in material but do not be attached to it. There are lots of BOOSTED people in the west, just get your kamai there and you will see masters yourself from all tradations and religions- the ridhi sidhi to see peoples hearts and kamais comes with time but keep sharda and even people of less kamai have lessens to teach even animals, nature can be masters to learn your lessons from. Part of spirtual kamai is you will get material kamai, the richest people have strong spiritual practices for why maya attacks them more.

Edited July 18, 2010 by sarbatdapala

[das007]

das is going to stay a little longer here. Das now knows that das will not progress towards vaheguru in this life at all:(

Das is sad hearing this news but das will beg for kirpa maybe in the next life?! Anyway das is known as a mahapapi and hopefully dharamraj gives das a chance of life again.

Das knows sangat,seva and simran is important but das is so sad that vaheguru does no kirpa regardless of how much das does. Das is thinking of doing some kind of penance combined with simran. Maybe kirpa can come out of this?

Anyway das has now given up on hope and doesn't care about anything now just waiting for the next life now.....

das prays and prays but das doesn't care about anything now just pure sadness. Das has broken all relations with friends as das think that das holds them back like how can a papi like das help them if das can't help himself? and das doesn't talk to family unless das's family asks das a question. How can a papi like das talk to others, das has no right?

Das sees no point anymore, xylitol your right das can't hack it in life. Life is all pain no anand.. Das is so sad in life there is nothing:( only vaheguru name is only of satisfaction.. Everyday is like hell the separation and pain for progress to vaheguru is unbearable. das can't sleep, eat properly the heart is crying out in so much pain.. Das eyes keep crying and crying

das's family think it is depression but das doesn't think so. Das doesn't care about anything and family think the solution is to get married!!!!!!!!!!!!

How on earth will marriage solve anything?

How can this pain go... It is torture.. What did das do to deserve this?

[das007]

.

Edited July 19, 2010 by das007

[laalsingh]

das is going to stay a little longer here. Das now knows that das will not progress towards vaheguru in this life at all:(

Das is sad hearing this news but das will beg for kirpa maybe in the next life?! Anyway das is known as a mahapapi and hopefully dharamraj gives das a chance of life again.

Das knows sangat,seva and simran is important but das is so sad that vaheguru does no kirpa regardless of how much das does. Das is thinking of doing some kind of penance combined with simran. Maybe kirpa can come out of this?

Anyway das has now given up on hope and doesn't care about anything now just waiting for the next life now.....

das prays and prays but das doesn't care about anything now just pure sadness. Das has broken all relations with friends as das think that das holds them back like how can a papi like das help them if das can't help himself? and das doesn't talk to family unless das's family asks das a question. How can a papi like das talk to others, das has no right?

Das sees no point anymore, xylitol your right das can't hack it in life. Life is all pain no anand.. Das is so sad in life there is nothing:( only vaheguru name is only of satisfaction.. Everyday is like hell the separation and pain for progress to vaheguru is unbearable. das can't sleep, eat properly the heart is crying out in so much pain.. Das eyes keep crying and crying

das's family think it is depression but das doesn't think so. Das doesn't care about anything and family think the solution is to get married!!!!!!!!!!!!

How on earth will marriage solve anything?

How can this pain go... It is torture.. What did das do to deserve this?

Everything in this transient world is pain . You realized and others are ignorant. You are lucky. Vairaag means you are on your way.

[Xylitol]

das is going to stay a little longer here. Das now knows that das will not progress towards vaheguru in this life at all:(

Das is sad hearing this news but das will beg for kirpa maybe in the next life?! Anyway das is known as a mahapapi and hopefully dharamraj gives das a chance of life again.

Das knows sangat,seva and simran is important but das is so sad that vaheguru does no kirpa regardless of how much das does. Das is thinking of doing some kind of penance combined with simran. Maybe kirpa can come out of this?

Anyway das has now given up on hope and doesn't care about anything now just waiting for the next life now.....

das prays and prays but das doesn't care about anything now just pure sadness. Das has broken all relations with friends as das think that das holds them back like how can a papi like das help them if das can't help himself? and das doesn't talk to family unless das's family asks das a question. How can a papi like das talk to others, das has no right?

Das sees no point anymore, xylitol your right das can't hack it in life. Life is all pain no anand.. Das is so sad in life there is nothing:( only vaheguru name is only of satisfaction.. Everyday is like hell the separation and pain for progress to vaheguru is unbearable. das can't sleep, eat properly the heart is crying out in so much pain.. Das eyes keep crying and crying

das's family think it is depression but das doesn't think so. Das doesn't care about anything and family think the solution is to get married!!!!!!!!!!!!

How on earth will marriage solve anything?

How can this pain go... It is torture.. What did das do to deserve this?

why have u changed ur mind???

also, u can always go for short period of time to improve ur jeevan. many singhs luive in west, but keep close relations with mahapurkhs.

[Silence]

First off if you want to know why you arent progressing/how to progess you simply need to ask Guru Sahib, ie. take a hukamnama.Its as simple as that, don't know why you are putting yourself trhough so much when you have Guru Sahib right there ready to tell you the answer and solve your problems.

About your post,

If people like Sant Jarnail Singh Ji were not only able to reach avastha AND be mukhi of Taksal AND help others on the path AND hold a DHARAM YUDH MORCHA, while MARRIED with CHILDREN, who are you to say marriage and gristh jeevan holds you back?? Like Gurbani says dont blame others and also dont deviate from Gurbani, as only Gurbani can tell you what will lead you to Vaheguroo. That means you remove these thoughts of penanace and running off. Guru Sahib created gristh jeevan and anand karaj for a reason and that reason can only be that it helps us in our Sikhi, not that it hinders us.

Maharaj never did anything pointless, and certainly nothing to hold us back, so why do you think he created anand karaj? To help us of course!! Look at it this way you have 24/7 sangat AND someone to do seva of!!!! Can you imagine someone being there making sure u wake at amritvela or you being there to make them get up at amritvela!! You can both go for mukti together! How awesome would that be, can you imagine you not only get to Vaheguru yourself but get to take someone with you! Basically if we were meant to be some sort of loner celibates maharaj would have told us, however quite opposite maharaj has actually totally dissed that lifestyle.

You are saying that a system maharaj himself has given us and told us to live is hindering your progress, but you fail to realsie it is infact maharaj who knows how we will get to Vaheguroo and seeing as he says celibacy and hermitage is not the way but actually gristi is, you are actually disagreeing with Guru Sahib

Whats hindering your progress is actually your karams, nothing else, its a TOTAL COP OUT to blame your lack of progress on any one else

ਬਾਧਿਓ ਆਪਨ ਹਉ ਹਉ ਬੰਧਾ ॥

Bāḏẖi▫o āpan ha▫o ha▫o banḏẖā.

Man is bound by the chains of his own egotism, selfishness and conceit.

ਦੋਸੁ ਦੇਤ ਆਗਹ ਕਉ ਅੰਧਾ ॥

Ḏos ḏeṯ āgah ka▫o anḏẖā.

The spiritually blind place the blame on others.

ਬਾਤ ਚੀਤ ਸਭ ਰਹੀ ਸਿਆਨਪ ॥

Bāṯ cẖīṯ sabẖ rahī si▫ānap.

But all debates and clever tricks are of no use at all.

ਜਿਸਹਿ ਜਨਾਵਹੁ ਸੋ ਜਾਨੈ ਨਾਨਕ ॥੩੯॥

Jisahi janāvhu so jānai Nānak. ||39||

O Nanak, he alone comes to know, whom the Lord inspires to know. ||39||

and

ਦਦੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੇਊ ਕਿਸੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਕਰੰਮਾ ਆਪਣਿਆ ॥

ददै दोसु न देऊ किसै दोसु करमा आपणिआ ॥

Ḏaḏai ḏos na ḏe▫ū kisai ḏos karammā āpṇi▫ā.

Dadda: Do not blame anyone else; blame instead your own actions.

ਜੋ ਮੈ ਕੀਆ ਸੋ ਮੈ ਪਾਇਆ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਅਵਰ ਜਨਾ ॥੨੧॥

जो मै कीआ सो मै पाइआ दोसु न दीजै अवर जना ॥२१॥

Jo mai kī▫ā so mai pā▫i▫ā ḏos na ḏījai avar janā. ||21||

Whatever I did, for that I have suffered; I do not blame anyone else. ||21||

and

ਦਿਨੁ ਰੈਨਿ ਅਪਨਾ ਕੀਆ ਪਾਈ ॥

दिनु रैनि अपना कीआ पाई ॥

Ḏin rain apnā kī▫ā pā▫ī.

Day and night, they receive the rewards of their own actions.

ਕਿਸੁ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਕਿਰਤੁ ਭਵਾਈ ॥੪॥

किसु दोसु न दीजै किरतु भवाई ॥४॥

Kis ḏos na ḏījai kiraṯ bẖavā▫ī. ||4||

Don't blame anyone else; your own actions lead you astray. ||4||

and

ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਕਾਹੂ ਲੋਗ ॥

दोसु न दीजै काहू लोग ॥

Ḏos na ḏījai kāhū log.

Don't blame others, O people;

ਜੋ ਕਮਾਵਨੁ ਸੋਈ ਭੋਗ ॥

जो कमावनु सोई भोग ॥

Jo kamāvan so▫ī bẖog.

as you plant, so shall you harvest.

ਆਪਨ ਕਰਮ ਆਪੇ ਹੀ ਬੰਧ ॥

आपन करम आपे ही बंध ॥

Āpan karam āpe hī banḏẖ.

By your actions, you have bound yourself.

ਆਵਨੁ ਜਾਵਨੁ ਮਾਇਆ ਧੰਧ ॥੧॥

आवनु जावनु माइआ धंध ॥१॥

Āvan jāvan mā▫i▫ā ḏẖanḏẖ. ||1||

You come and go, entangled in Maya. ||1||

and there are many more just search the word 'blame' in srigranth.org

Also penance is a big no no, if you beleive in Guru Maharj you will believe that only Naam pleases Vaheguroo, the reason for you not making progress is clear IMHO, if you still beleive in running away, doing penance and that gristi is hodling you back, you clearly havent taken in the message of bani at all, no offence.

bhull chukk maaf

Edited July 19, 2010 by Silence

[SURYADEV]

Maybe das should simply talk to someone such as his/her GP or a counsellor. SOme anti-depressents may do the trick. Das shouldn't think that his problems will vanish by jumping onto Turkmenistan Airlines to Raja Sansi, they will follow you in the cargo hold.

First sort your life out, then decide what you want to do; not the other way round.

[Mr Sardar]

We make the pain or pleasure in our life based on our actions, if you are in pain, crying and depressed you are clearly living in hell on this earth. People live in heaven on this earth, be greatful to God for every breath he gives you he kisses you on the lips with it. As for the getting married thing your parents know you more then you think, and it may look like you may be having lack of companionship issue which is very very normal- to control kaam take up a sport, gym, talk to penjis to be ok with yourself. The friends you have are what you get from your kamai, if you feel there paapi, then hence so are you.. we all do negative things in different amounts and different types such as insulting, gossiping, backchatting people which can be as negative as adultery, drugs and booze. You have to control your positivity focus on the good in life, make some friends, talk chill out realax, do your paath, do sewa, change the way you see life. If you go to India your problem will follow you, you will have hell there as well. Your peace and God are within, Life is great. The reason we suffer is because we desire. So control yourself.

Edited July 19, 2010 by sarbatdapala

[Mr Sardar]

To be very honest with you, you seem to have a normal case of the blues. Depression is common- FIX your diet eat plenty of greens avoid sunflower oil, fatty food, avoid sugarry stuff, avoid junk food, avoid fizzy drink, drink 2-4 ltrs of water a day, eat 5 fruits veg, eat 3 meals a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Have fruit snacks such as oranges apples etc. This health is a state of well being - physical, mental and social so you have to balance it. Religious schools of thought teach alot, Sikhi has alot of gun take, the gun of both Sikhi and west- WE all go through these problems and other illness of the ego all these things are interconnected and related. Keep positive keep optimisitc - i.e. There is half a glass full of water not half a glass empty- there is good and bad, focus on the good. Watch comedies, keep good company make new friends crack jokes, watch movies keep healthy.