Guest Anonymous Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh dear sangat ji, I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaikaara Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 2 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said: Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh dear sangat ji, I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry? Sikhi is part of many of the Grihasts we have here , i am not a keshdhari and come from a hindu background, and many others are are from Gursikh families here and have been married . Grihasti is somewhere a necessary obligation in life . When you say losing Sikhi what do you mean ? what do yo do that stops you from performing regular tasks ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 9 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said: is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry? Sister, marriage is not mandatory in Sikhism. It is entirely up to the individual to choose Grahast marg or Brahamchari marg. Many Gurmukhs of high avastha are Brahamcharis. If you choose not to marry, it is completely fine. But, there is no doubt that Grahast Marg is highly encouraged in Sikhism, due to difficult times (Kajjug). IMHO, one has to be of really high avastha (excellent control over Lust), to choose Brahamchari life style. Do you know of any Gurmukhs of high avastha? If yes, please consult with them on this issue. You can also do Ardas in front of Sri Satguru jee with love and devotion. Maharaaj jee will definitely answer you via Hukamnama or other means. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Stick to your guns. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 The biggest problem sikhism is facing low birth rate. Lack of sikhs marrying , inter religious marriages are taking heavy toll on Sikhism. Unfortunately most of sikhs have completely turned blind eye toward this , All they want is Raaj , power etc. The future is quite bleak in terms of demographics 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 15 hours ago, kdsingh80 said: The biggest problem sikhism is facing low birth rate. Lack of sikhs marrying , inter religious marriages are taking heavy toll on Sikhism. Unfortunately most of sikhs have completely turned blind eye toward this , All they want is Raaj , power etc. The future is quite bleak in terms of demographics Naw.. Yogi bhajan balanced it out so we good . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GurpreetKaur Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 On June 20, 2016 at 0:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said: Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh dear sangat ji, I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry? Pray for a husband who will not become a hindrance but a catalyst in your spiritual journey. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdsingh80 Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 11 hours ago, GurpreetKaur said: Naw.. Yogi bhajan balanced it out so we good . What it mean's , Yogi bhajan bought few white's into Sikhism which are called 3HO and still many don't accept them as sikhs, so far in terms of percentage they are negligible 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dee Bee Singh Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Whats going on here is above my naive knowledge. If you are scared of marriage that you will lose sikhi well lets put it this way you are choosing an easy path then. Try to find a right match ofcourse thats the most hardest of all. And once you are married stick to your routine and stuff. You get kids you raise them your way. Dont compromise and make it clear before marriage.. Thats what I would say.. I dont know where the concept of brahmchari came into Sikhism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 37 minutes ago, Guest Dee Bee Singh said: Thats what I would say.. I dont know where the concept of brahmchari came into Sikhism. There have been numerous Brahamchari Sikhs in the past. Brahamchari Sikh style is not easy. One needs immense amount of Bhagti, for this life style. Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylitol Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Penguin Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 34 minutes ago, Xylitol said: both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. OP = woman . :p 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylitol Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 sorry, amswer is same either way, pehra from opposite gender needed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singh123456777 Posted July 21, 2016 Report Share Posted July 21, 2016 On July 19, 2016 at 6:46 PM, Xylitol said: both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. You are totally right. Five years ago I was against getting married. I wanted to dedicate my life to bhagti. Five years later I'm engaged. A persons mindset changes a lot in a few years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 18 hours ago, Singh123456777 said: You are totally right. Five years ago I was against getting married. I wanted to dedicate my life to bhagti. Five years later I'm engaged. A persons mindset changes a lot in a few years. Bro how old are you if you don't mind me asking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 6 hours ago, Kira said: Bro how old are you if you don't mind me asking. I am sure he is 25 or above , as papiman loves to say. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 Gristhan meh bado grihasthi... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 On 20 June 2016 at 5:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said: i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life Guest Ji, obviously following a bout of depression, you would be less interested in outer relationships. however please think about the future. twenty or thirty years from now, may you be lonely? your parents have more life experience, are worldly wise, and want to do what (they believe) is in your best interests. I request you ask yourself honestly, is sikhi the reason you don't want to get married, or are you just using it as an excuse, and the real reason is something else. A big point in Sikhi is, that you can live in the world and attain highest states of spirituality. Most Sikhs in history were householders. And a spouse who shares your religious interest may actually be a support in the religious life. So what you are presenting may be a false dichotomy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paapiman Posted July 23, 2016 Report Share Posted July 23, 2016 On 6/20/2016 at 0:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said: Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh dear sangat ji, I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry? Please have a look below: Bhul chuk maaf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAadmin Posted July 25, 2016 Report Share Posted July 25, 2016 Dude do whatever resonates with ya deeply not via conditioning but deeply in meditation drop that question of what you drawn towards- feel the divine will and be guided by it... enjoy the worldly game... Dont think being behingum is any easier for a second than grishti jevan. They are both hard, external circumstances are beyond our control..only free will you have... if we have (even that could be argued) is how nirlaip/calm are you regardless of situation, relationship status. One could be biggest bhogi/engaged in worldly affairs while behingum and one could be nirlaip as jalkamal/cool as cucumber while being in gristhi/ bhog..worldly relationship status does not mean anything. Maharaj leela is way beyond our minds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post paapiman Posted August 5, 2016 Popular Post Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 Bhul chuk maaf 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragmaala Posted August 5, 2016 Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 9 hours ago, paapiman said: Bhul chuk maaf hahahaa But I view married life as below : 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koi Posted August 5, 2016 Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 16 hours ago, paapiman said: Bhul chuk maaf Very few people actually know how true thus is..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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