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How to become celibate when married ?


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literal meaning of celibate is to control your desires and don't have physical relationship .

A married couple can be a celibate as well , while having physical relationship . ( and obviously they have to follow rehit maryada )

Once a gursikh asked Baba Nand Singh Ji , how can he becoma a celibate while being married ?

He answered :

for a grahsti 2 children are enough .

have relationship only once in a whole year .

if u still can't control ur self , make it once in 6 months i.e. twice in a year

if u still can't do it , make it once a month .

if u still can't control ur self , do it once a week ( on tuesday , between 11 pm to 1 am )

and the next day in the morning , take a kesi ishnan .

And if you still can't control it , then you are not a sikh of Guru Nanak , U r a vishayi ( a person engrossed in sensual pleasures )

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i don't get y u wrote this. i don't c the point sorry. just seems good but at the same time werid. it may be true but for 99% of the humans on this earth its fantasy.

i would love to meet ppl who practice this. in such a controlled strict way.

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I read in a book by sant baba jagjit singh ji harkhowalaey that-

There was conversation sakhi between Guru Ji and Mardana regarding celibacy in gristh hood...Guru Ji said you can have kids without having any phsyical relationship if you are highest spiritual stage. I found it very fascninating.

quote from that book:

Guru Ji then replied that reproducting children is done through "dristhi bhog" (Pure Vision). The people there practised naam with each and every pore of their bodies. On the basis of truth the women give birth just by looking at their partners eyes. At bhramgyan stage, one does not need to have intercourse to reproduce an kid.

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k 1 question for u sikhs. plz answer as this is a serious question not a joke.

do sikhs believe in just having sex to have kids or can u do it for love and pleasure to?

i think its basically for starting your family by having kids

but then again i can't think of anything prohibting u from making love with your partner .

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I read in a book by sant baba jagjit singh ji harkhowalaey that-

There was conversation sakhi between Guru Ji and Mardana regarding celibacy in gristh hood...Guru Ji said you can have kids without having any phsyical relationship if you are highest spiritual stage. I found it very fascninating.

quote from that book:

Guru Ji then replied that reproducting children is done through "dristhi bhog" (Pure Vision). The people there practised naam with each and every pore of their bodies. On the basis of truth the women give birth just by looking at their partners eyes. At bhramgyan stage, one does not need to have intercourse to reproduce an kid.

very interesting !!

Once Baba Nand Singh Ji told this saakhi to a sikh :

After Guru Nanak Dev Ji got married , he remained busy in preaching NAAM . A long time passed . Once Bebe Naanki Ji ( Guru Nanak Dev Ji's Sister ) prayed to Guru Ji that she wants to play with his nephews or nieces meaning that he should have some children now . Guru Ji gave two cloves to Bebe Naanki Ji as a prashad and asked her to give it to Mata Sulakhni Ji ( Guru ji's wife ) . Then Mata ji gave birth to 2 sons .

I mean to say that our Guru jis didn't have to do the process that we do for giving birth to children . Gurus and brahmgyanis are nirlep from this maya . They can do anything with their POWER .

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Guest Javanmard

This is heresy of the highest kind without any fondation in gurbani.This is disgusting and an insult to the graces Akal Purakh gives his Sikhs.

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Neo have u gt the full title and author of the book please? This is the first time I have read this..

i knw there is a lot of power in Bhagti...naam simran but didnt knw that u did not have to have physical contact with ur wife/husband to reproduce! I would love to read this book....

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I agree with Shaka, I don't know why people go out of their way to make sex between man-wife look bad.

Gurbani Says :

"Kaam Krodh Sareer Ko Gaale"

Even though its sex with your partner , its still Kaam . Kaam is bad for your health .

That's why married gursikhs ( true gursikhs ) keep it very moderate .

That's y people these days don't have long ages . due to Kaam ( some exceptions exist )

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This is heresy of the highest kind without any fondation in gurbani.This is disgusting and an insult to the graces Akal Purakh gives his Sikhs.

how is this disgusting and insult ? can u explain ?

Talk to any mahapurash , chardeekala sant , or chardeekala damdami sikh , and ask them about Guru ji's , u will get the same answer that they were nirlep from this maya . They didn't go through the process that we go through to produce kids .

And some things don't need to be explained in Gurbani . They are known by only brahmgyanis .

For eg :

Bhagt Dhanna ji had the kamai of his previous 1100 janams . That 's y he could have darshan of God from a pathar .

Now tell me where in gurbani its written , that He had kamai of 1100 janams . this was told by Brahmgyami Sant Gurbachan Singh Ji Khalsa .

Similarly , some facts don't have to be based on Gurbani .

Bachans of Brahmgyanis are enough .

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Thats your opinion. I would make love out of love for my wife rather then kaam, and by the way it is proven that couples who are intimate live alot longer and are alot happier (checkout Deepak Chopra's and many others' research).

There are many sensual metaphors in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji about union with the Divine that will make a contemporary reader blush.

Gurbani Says :

"Kaam Krodh Sareer Ko Gaale"

Even though its sex with your partner , its still Kaam . Kaam is bad for your health .

That's why married gursikhs ( true gursikhs ) keep it very moderate .

That's y people these days don't have long ages . due to Kaam ( some exceptions exist )

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Guys, I am not denying that there is no need for bhog bilas(intercourse) with your wife to have a kid..what i m saying is for guru's /bhramgyanis bhog bilas is not needed to reproduce kid if they don't want to...there is alternative method- drishti bhog (pure vision eye to eye contact).

When i read this in sant baba jagjit singh ji book called - The Radiance of a complete journey to Akaal purkh i found it fascinating but not "suprised'.

Because bhramgyani coming and going is not like us ..they are sadda nirlaip from this maya...even if they have bhog bilas .. it's not like us...they see god in their bed...it's more of spiritual expereince rather than a sexual expereince and if guru or bhramgyani does not want to bhog bilas (for whatever reason) there is alternative method called "dristhi bhog".

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Guest Javanmard

I don't know about sant, mahapurush, babe etc... I am a Nirmala myself (my lineage goes back to Bhai Dharam Singh, one of the panj pyare) and all I was told by my gurdev is to follow Guru Gobind Singh. Now let's see what Guru Gobind Singh says on the matter...

There are explicit references to the Kokashastra (medieval Kamasutra) Guru Gobind Singh’s compositions such Akal Ustati (AU:12,18,130) and Gian Prabodh (GP 275). None of these references express disgust or rejection of the erotic arts.

The Chaupa Singh Rahitnama mentions rules of sexual conduct. It specifies that the male Sikh should not have intercourse with his wife during the first and half periods of the night. Sexual intercourse was to be followed by a full bath, a practice existing in both Islam and the Indic religious traditions. Except for a very clear condemnation of adultery the rahitnama does not include any other specific injunctions on sexual behaviour. The rahitnama does not mention that intercourse has procreation as its only aim!!!

Sant and Mahapurush may say things to a particular individual but this doesn't really apply as a general rule. And yes they don't have the same authority as the Gurus. Sant Attar Singh Mastuanavale said raags are not important, does that mean he was right? Clearly: NO!!!

Sexual abstinence for limited amount of time is a common practise when doing long periods of paath or going to war but making it a 24/7 practice in married life is heresy!!! It leads to mental diseases and abnormal sexual behaviour and perversion.One only needs to look at some of the scandals related to bihangams to see how true it is!!!!

To place every single word of a sant or mahapurush at the same level as gurbani is heresy of the worst kind!!!

Now you can all chose: the words of Guru Gobind Singh or the words of Karamjeet...

I have made my choice and it's not Karamjeet!!!!

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To place every single word of a sant or mahapurush at the same level as gurbani is heresy of the worst kind!!!

sant and mahapurash are one with The Guru Granth Sahib Ji . So whatever they speak is in accordance with Gurbani .They never speak against Gurbani .

And u said , the same rule may not apply as general . That's very true . I agree with that . Sants look at the avastha ( mental or spiritual state of sangi and then speak accordingly . )

I am not saying Gurbani is not important . Gurbani is the highest above all . Even Guru Arjan Dev Ji respected The Aadi Granth .

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Now you can all chose: the words of Guru Gobind Singh or the words of Karamjeet...

these are not my views neither are these my words . this is just an example or a saakhi from the jeevan of Baba Nand Singh ji , which taught how to become celibate . And this rule may appl y to those people with a higher avastha not people like us who are engrossed in vishe vikars .

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And Who Am I ? to tell you to do this or that . I have no authority neither do i have any right . Only Guru Ji can order you to do that .

And by the way shaka , don't try to compare me with Guru Gobind Singh Ji other wise u will be disrespecting Him ( guru ji ) because I am not even close to even his true sikh's charan dhoor .

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Sant Attar Singh Mastuanavale said raags are not important, does that mean he was right? Clearly: NO!!!

there could be a no. of reasons if he said that ( and i don't know he said that )

so u can't really say anything about a Brahmgyani . u can't say that he was not right.

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Sexual abstinence for limited amount of time is a common practise when doing long periods of paath or going to war but making it a 24/7 practice in married life is heresy!!! It leads to mental diseases and abnormal sexual behaviour and perversion.One only needs to look at some of the scandals related to bihangams to see how true it is!!!!

this is not completely true .

So how come Baba Ishar Singh Ji, Sant Ishar Singh Ji , didn't go mad ?

Sant Ishar Singh ji rare sahib wale have said that celibacy is a fuel for meditation .

Guru ji have said , " Jat Pahara Dheeraj Sunayaar "

" Kaam Krodh Sareer ko gale "

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Sexual abstinence for limited amount of time is a common practise when doing long periods of paath or going to war but making it a 24/7 practice in married life is heresy!!!

So how come Baba Ishar Singh Ji, Sant Ishar Singh Ji , didn't go mad ?

Sant Ishar Singh ji rare sahib wale have said that celibacy is a fuel for meditation

I think Shaka answered that.

so u can't really say anything about a Brahmgyani . so better keep quiet , otherwise u know wt happens to people who do ninda of sants ( read sukhmani sahib )

read his whole post in context (i.e. "Sant and Mahapurush may say things to a particular individual but this doesn't really apply as a general rule. And yes they don't have the same authority as the Gurus.").

I couldn't see any reference to nindiya of Sants.

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