Ardaas for fixing relationship

[AnxiousMind]

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

 

The main focus of Gurbani is to accept your fate, refrain from worldy desires and surrender to Satguru and Akalpurkh, but still we have a life to live and I think i deserve the best.. God will give me the best and hence I am sharing my relationship story:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul and she approached me to be her boyfriend. From the start, we always thought of spending life together and I always consider myself lucky to met someone so childish yet so mature. 

 

Our relationship was perfect for almost a year! But things took a turn as differences were created by someone within her family and then I did some stupid things like blaming the person in front of her, knowing my partner respects them- and when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

I consider our relation to be very pure and full of love. We both are deep thinkers and creative, kind of perfectionists and our discussions are always meaningful. I don't want to replace or share the same feelings with some other person. After breakup, I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.. I want to be perfect for her. I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

I have done ardaas from my pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib too. I always ask Waheguru to make our relation happy again and bless us with the 'matt' to build a very divine and meaningful connection. But everything is not falling in place yet- i am being impatient but I do have trust on Waheguru and Satguru ji. I even cried at times while doing ardaas and my gut feeling says that Satguru ji can not make ardaas go empty but the current statements of my partner things between us is not sorted. I am doing pratical things alongside.. even if all the things are against me- I know Guru ji would do his kirpa. But keeping the motivation sometimes feels tough, i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me. Anyone want to share something ? Should I keep doing ardaas and changing myself ? Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner. 

 

Please share what you can sangat ji

Bhul chuk maaf.. May Waheguru Bless all

[dalsingh101]

8 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

 

The main focus of Gurbani is to accept your fate, refrain from worldy desires and surrender to Satguru and Akalpurkh, but still we have a life to live and I think i deserve the best.. God will give me the best and hence I am sharing my relationship story:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul and she approached me to be her boyfriend. From the start, we always thought of spending life together and I always consider myself lucky to met someone so childish yet so mature. 

 

Our relationship was perfect for almost a year! But things took a turn as differences were created by someone within her family and then I did some stupid things like blaming the person in front of her, knowing my partner respects them- and when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

I consider our relation to be very pure and full of love. We both are deep thinkers and creative, kind of perfectionists and our discussions are always meaningful. I don't want to replace or share the same feelings with some other person. After breakup, I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.. I want to be perfect for her. I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

I have done ardaas from my pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib too. I always ask Waheguru to make our relation happy again and bless us with the 'matt' to build a very divine and meaningful connection. But everything is not falling in place yet- i am being impatient but I do have trust on Waheguru and Satguru ji. I even cried at times while doing ardaas and my gut feeling says that Satguru ji can not make ardaas go empty but the current statements of my partner things between us is not sorted. I am doing pratical things alongside.. even if all the things are against me- I know Guru ji would do his kirpa. But keeping the motivation sometimes feels tough, i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me. Anyone want to share something ? Should I keep doing ardaas and changing myself ? Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner. 

 

Please share what you can sangat ji

Bhul chuk maaf.. May Waheguru Bless all

Bro, you should read Charitrio Pakyaan. 

[Ragmaala]

@AnxiousMind How old are you ?

 

[Ragmaala]

39 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul

There is no such thing as a pure soul. Your clarity is clouded by love tinted glasses. 

 

40 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

Desperation and begging will only push the other person away.  You should never beg or cry to a woman, it will only turn them off. 

 

41 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

I want to be perfect for her

This is a wrong mindset. You can never be perfect for anyone. You should only focus on bettering yourself. 

 

43 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

You sound very sincere, and you are deeply in love. But do not put her on a pedestal , and worship her. Make yourself important. 

 

47 minutes ago, AnxiousMind said:

I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.

What kind of changes are you making. Please give some examples. 

[Ragmaala]

@AnxiousMindAnd yes, do read Charitropakhyan, it will give you an idea about a variety of characters, ranging from warriors, pure, and manipulation, that are played by men and women. 

Also, Ardas does work but it won't provide you a quick solution. Right now, you are desperate. You will learn certain things with time. 

[dalsingh101]

4 minutes ago, Ragmaala said:

There is no such thing as a pure soul. Your clarity is clouded by love tinted glasses. 

 

Desperation and begging will only push the other person away.  You should never beg or cry to a woman, it will only turn them off. 

 

This is a wrong mindset. You can never be perfect for anyone. You should only focus on bettering yourself. 

 

You sound very sincere, and you are deeply in love. But do not put her on a pedestal , and worship her. Make yourself important. 

 

What kind of changes are you making. Please give some examples. 

I'm glad you stepped up. I was scared too. lol

[sevak]

3 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

 

The main focus of Gurbani is to accept your fate, refrain from worldy desires and surrender to Satguru and Akalpurkh, but still we have a life to live and I think i deserve the best.. God will give me the best and hence I am sharing my relationship story:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul and she approached me to be her boyfriend. From the start, we always thought of spending life together and I always consider myself lucky to met someone so childish yet so mature. 

 

Our relationship was perfect for almost a year! But things took a turn as differences were created by someone within her family and then I did some stupid things like blaming the person in front of her, knowing my partner respects them- and when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

I consider our relation to be very pure and full of love. We both are deep thinkers and creative, kind of perfectionists and our discussions are always meaningful. I don't want to replace or share the same feelings with some other person. After breakup, I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.. I want to be perfect for her. I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

I have done ardaas from my pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib too. I always ask Waheguru to make our relation happy again and bless us with the 'matt' to build a very divine and meaningful connection. But everything is not falling in place yet- i am being impatient but I do have trust on Waheguru and Satguru ji. I even cried at times while doing ardaas and my gut feeling says that Satguru ji can not make ardaas go empty but the current statements of my partner things between us is not sorted. I am doing pratical things alongside.. even if all the things are against me- I know Guru ji would do his kirpa. But keeping the motivation sometimes feels tough, i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me. Anyone want to share something ? Should I keep doing ardaas and changing myself ? Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner. 

 

Please share what you can sangat ji

Bhul chuk maaf.. May Waheguru Bless all

Sent u PM

 

[sevak]

2 hours ago, Ragmaala said:

Delete

[GurjantGnostic]

4 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

 

The main focus of Gurbani is to accept your fate, refrain from worldy desires and surrender to Satguru and Akalpurkh, but still we have a life to live and I think i deserve the best.. God will give me the best and hence I am sharing my relationship story:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul and she approached me to be her boyfriend. From the start, we always thought of spending life together and I always consider myself lucky to met someone so childish yet so mature. 

 

Our relationship was perfect for almost a year! But things took a turn as differences were created by someone within her family and then I did some stupid things like blaming the person in front of her, knowing my partner respects them- and when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

I consider our relation to be very pure and full of love. We both are deep thinkers and creative, kind of perfectionists and our discussions are always meaningful. I don't want to replace or share the same feelings with some other person. After breakup, I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.. I want to be perfect for her. I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

I have done ardaas from my pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib too. I always ask Waheguru to make our relation happy again and bless us with the 'matt' to build a very divine and meaningful connection. But everything is not falling in place yet- i am being impatient but I do have trust on Waheguru and Satguru ji. I even cried at times while doing ardaas and my gut feeling says that Satguru ji can not make ardaas go empty but the current statements of my partner things between us is not sorted. I am doing pratical things alongside.. even if all the things are against me- I know Guru ji would do his kirpa. But keeping the motivation sometimes feels tough, i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me. Anyone want to share something ? Should I keep doing ardaas and changing myself ? Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner. 

 

Please share what you can sangat ji

Bhul chuk maaf.. May Waheguru Bless all

I understand where you're coming from. You clearly crave a real relationship, deep and all that. 

And..you're going about it wrong. You can't date your way into Anand Karaj, or turn dating into Anand Karaj, and Anand Karaj is what you actually want. 

Sorry to break it to you brohan solo, but....she's friend zoned you, and is probably sleeping with somebody else. 

She does care for you, or worry about you, but I think this mistaken relationship has already blown up on you to teach you why we do Anand Karaj only. 

I hope I'm wrong, I hope the other Sangat have better advice for you. 

But..you've been friend zoned and she's probably sleeping with somebody. And probably was before your relationship seemed to fail. Which is actually none of your business now, back on track for Anand Karaj. Love doesn't work the way they say Veer Ji. It's not really about you and her and love for each other so much as it is about if someone is disciplined, truthful, in love with Gursikhi and willing to work it with you. 

Don't even be too tied to a wife bro. Treat her every way one should, love her, love your kids, and this is kalyug so be ready to accept infedility or failure if it happens. And if it does, and your household isn't complete yet, you get another wife. 

You can't  date, change or simp your way into Anand Karaj. You have to start with it. 

The reason she or you gave isn't  the real reason probably. 

I love you bro. Stop simping. If you are in love and changing, love Vaheguru Akal Purakh, and follow their advice, Anand Karaj only, and change into a Gursikh for your own reasons.  And no more simping Veer Ji. 

[Ragmaala]

47 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

But..you've been friend zoned and she's probably sleeping with somebody. And probably was before your relationship seemed to fail

most likely, this is the case. 

[dalsingh101]

Ain't it mental how when someone is loved up, the ability to perceive reality is the first casualty. 

Many of us go through it when young. Some rich olders get duped by it by younger broads.

When you get older and wiser, looking at it is .......hilarious. But we should try and remember how confused, sad and desolate the romantic must be feeling. 

[GurjantGnostic]

2 hours ago, dalsingh101 said:

Ain't it mental how when someone is loved up, the ability to perceive reality is the first casualty. 

Many of us go through it when young. Some rich olders get duped by it by younger broads.

When you get older and wiser, looking at it is .......hilarious. But we should try and remember how confused, sad and desolate the romantic must be feeling. 

Amen bro. When you're going through it, it's devestating. 

[dalsingh101]

5 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Amen bro. When you're going through it, it's devestating. 

Yeah, that goes back to what we were talking about on one of paapiman's threads. In my opinion, it's better to get some experience of this when young, than be sheltered and face it as an adult.

I've had good friends, blokes, who were virgins until married, who then got hitched (arranged) to a wrongun. But they couldn't see any red flags due to lack of experience. Not to say some gullible people don't keep falling for the same shyte again and again, but for a lot of people raised up in certain conservative 'Indian' type subcultures, they are conditioned to view females as some pure, maternal instinct driven angel. When you get to know broads, you quickly learn how wrong this can be. lol  

[GurjantGnostic]

55 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

Yeah, that goes back to what we were talking about on one of paapiman's threads. In my opinion, it's better to get some experience of this when young, than be sheltered and face it as an adult.

I've had good friends, blokes, who were virgins until married, who then got hitched (arranged) to a wrongun. But they couldn't see any red flags due to lack of experience. Not to say some gullible people don't keep falling for the same shyte again and again, but for a lot of people raised up in certain conservative 'Indian' type subcultures, they are conditioned to view females as some pure, maternal instinct driven angel. When you get to know broads, you quickly learn how wrong this can be. lol  

Yeah, the women pulling strings in our CULTure say that too. Then they act like moral garbage on legs,  wih no compassion for anyone, and you realise even their interest in children is selfish only. And by that time there is trail of wish they were dead male bodies behind them. 

Read CP for sure. 

That women are xyz narrative is Mithias bro. 

To dissolve the cult of man vs cult of woman debate, yes men are as bad or worse and the way they raped the whole planet contributes to ladies being shadies. 

[paapiman]

13 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

 

The main focus of Gurbani is to accept your fate, refrain from worldy desires and surrender to Satguru and Akalpurkh, but still we have a life to live and I think i deserve the best.. God will give me the best and hence I am sharing my relationship story:

By God's kirpa, I came in contact with a very pure soul and she approached me to be her boyfriend. From the start, we always thought of spending life together and I always consider myself lucky to met someone so childish yet so mature. 

 

Our relationship was perfect for almost a year! But things took a turn as differences were created by someone within her family and then I did some stupid things like blaming the person in front of her, knowing my partner respects them- and when my lovely partner decided to have a breakup- i kept showing my desperation of sticking and begging to them. 

I consider our relation to be very pure and full of love. We both are deep thinkers and creative, kind of perfectionists and our discussions are always meaningful. I don't want to replace or share the same feelings with some other person. After breakup, I have decided to change myself and adapted some changes already.. I want to be perfect for her. I want to live the best married life and give the best to her. I want to give my 100 percent to create that soulmate connection because the time we were together as a couple was a blessing every second.

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

I have done ardaas from my pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib too. I always ask Waheguru to make our relation happy again and bless us with the 'matt' to build a very divine and meaningful connection. But everything is not falling in place yet- i am being impatient but I do have trust on Waheguru and Satguru ji. I even cried at times while doing ardaas and my gut feeling says that Satguru ji can not make ardaas go empty but the current statements of my partner things between us is not sorted. I am doing pratical things alongside.. even if all the things are against me- I know Guru ji would do his kirpa. But keeping the motivation sometimes feels tough, i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me. Anyone want to share something ? Should I keep doing ardaas and changing myself ? Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner. 

 

Please share what you can sangat ji

Bhul chuk maaf.. May Waheguru Bless all

wjkk wjkf

It is good that you have talked about this issue here. Sometimes talking about an issue might provide some sort of mental relief.

Daas has some questions for you.

How old is she and how old are you?

Can you find out, if she is seeing another guy now?

Do you watch plenty of Romantic movies?

Do you feel that you are more emotional or sensitive than other people around you?

Are you an Amritdhari? Do you do plenty of Naam Simran on a daily basis?

Do you know of any Gurmukh Brahamgyani?

Do you listen to Katha of Gurbani or Sikh History?

Do you read Sri Dasam Gurbani? Are you trying to learn Martial arts? Do you workout?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[paapiman]

@AnxiousMind

Some more questions bro. Hope you don't mind. If you want to talk via pm, that can be done too.

Do you have a habit of talking/chatting a lot with females?

Do you have a lot of female friends?

Do you have Homo (Gay and Lesbian) friends?

Did your parents have a love marriage?

Do you watch Porn?

Have you ever fought for a just cause? For example, stood up against bullying or harassment of another person?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Jageera]

Truth bombs from Ragmaala and GurjantGnostic Veerjis. I'd like to advise you to stop watching Bollywood love movies or TV serials. It's not real, just opium for the indian massess so they forget the misery of daily life and live in fantasy love lalaland. That "very pure soul" is having a narcisstic trip with you playing all these mind games shes enjoying every moment of it. Don't give her the power. Start by stop answering her calls or tell her to buzz off if she does. Tell your mom to stop taking her calls too. For now give 100% to yourself and your parents,much more worth it. This "very pure soul" eats, shits and farts just like you my friend, you carry on with life.

By the way,just curious, did you use to go to your pind gurudwara, city gurudwara, a few aethaasik gurudwaras, at Nanaksar Kalera and at Harmandar Sahib to do Ardaas before "very pure soul" dumped you? If no, then maybe it's a blessing in disguise this happened,at least you got darshan of these Gurudwaras.

Hope you are not a one post wonder and do post responses to all the good advise given in this thread. I want to know the update of this "Dilwale Very Pure Soul Lejayenge".

[paapiman]

23 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

My lovely partner said to her mother and my mother that she is doing this breakup  to make me realize certain things but always she tells me that this is over and can't continue. Even she do phone calls to me herself, often claiming she won't call again but yet she has been hot and cold- showing minute signs of care but denying any further connection.

Why don't you just ask her straight up, do you want a relationship with me or not? 

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[paapiman]

23 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

I even cried at times while doing ardaas

Have you ever thought of crying to Sri Satguru jee for Naam Daan?

Naam is the most expensive thing in this entire creation. 

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[paapiman]

23 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

i get break down as my lovely partner and Waheguru is testing me

Are you sure that she is testing you? 

OR

Is she fooling around with you?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[paapiman]

23 hours ago, AnxiousMind said:

Any personal experience when someone got something through ardaas which seemed impossible.. even if the world goes against.. I still want to keep faith and make myself a perfect partner.

Have you ever wondered that Sri Satguru jee might have a better lady for you?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[GurjantGnostic]

10 hours ago, paapiman said:

Have you ever wondered that Sri Satguru jee might have a better lady for you?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

One who isn't your sister. One who's relationship to you is not under the pervue of Saitan. 

Young bro should dust himself off, patch himself back together and enter into Anand Karaj. I bet he looks in the rearview then and sees a set of eyeballs wishing they'd done right. 

[GurjantGnostic]

@AnxiousMind 

This one is for you bro.