sarabatam

wow didnt know he was suffering from cancer.  He was doing good work connecting people to Sikhi & Bhagti through his stories on his youtube channel. 
Waheguru... you never know when your time will come, if the next breath will come or not.. hum aadmi haan ik dami.. we are only but one breath
 
Another reminder that life is passing away, O mind keep remembering Waheguru with each breath... this is the essence of all teachings..
 
Waheguru 

RIP
https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/entertainment/punjabi-actor-director-mangal-dhillon-passes-away-following-battle-with-cancer-516193

Another light bulb moment- You have to feel the brillant white light right from the heart center to feel coolness to by pass all the chakras (sahasara) and unman state ( in between sahasara and top knot), you will feel coolness from divine consciousness (sun) via your heart center as it hit your heart, your perception will change in the eyes. 
 

ਜਿਮੀ ਜਮਾਨ ਕੇ ਬਿਖੈ ਸਮਸਤ ਏਕ ਜੋਤਿ ਹੈ ॥ Within all the earth and sky, there is only one Light.
ਨ ਘਾਟ ਹੈ ਨ ਬਾਢ ਹੈ ਨ ਘਾਟ ਬਾਢ ਹੋਤ ਹੈ ॥ Which neither decreases nor increases in any being, It never decreases or increases.
36.21
 
 

It has been a very long time since I have been on this site so I hope everyone's doing well. I had another big experience recently that I needed to share. 
But before I do that I need to be honest - I vow to always be as transparent as possible - I am never going to pretend as if bhagti has always been perfect or pretend that things are going well right now. I have been off track for a while now. That is somewhat why I am not as active anymore. Also because I have been extremely busy. But my bhagti is not as good as it used to be. 
I still hear shabad 24/7. I still see parkash. But I do not actively keep myself focused and because of the lack of focus I feel stress. My emotions are stable for the most part. No extreme bursts of happiness or negative emotions. But sometimes extremes come. But stress is a big issue I deal with these days - I work more than double full time on my business and I am also taking 7 courses at a time (5 is a full course load)  while managing a lot of other stuff. It's a lot - a lot of people tell me it's not humanly possible but somehow I do this and manage straight A+'s. But nonetheless - I live a very busy and high stress life now. And bhagti is low but the base you guys helped me develop has helped me manage everything I have to deal with. 

ok now as per what the experience was:
- I was going through a few days where there was A LOT of pressure on me. I was about to hit rock bottom. Felt very anxious and thought I was going to get crushed. 
- For the first time in a long time I started intensely focusing on parkash. I fell asleep while focusing. 
- I went into a dream phase. When my bhgati was good I would never have dreams. But I have them on a normal basis now. I started having dreams when I fell asleep that day. 
- The dream was very bad. The dream had everything bad/negative/stressing me out. My biggest problem/stressor was the main focal point of the dream. 
- Long story short - I found a solution and my first thought was "all of this is in my control”. 
- For the first time in my life I began lucid dreaming. At that point I was able to disconnect my non physical self from the physical. I don't know how to explain it. Or if I'm using the right terms.
- After this point it becomes very difficult to explain what happened. But I essentially was moving at an extremely fast pace. Not my physical body but the mind/non physical body or whatever you call it. Don't quote me on this. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just trying to use analogies to explain what it was like - but it felt like how souls might travel at death. Maybe I'm wrong. but that's how I would imagine it. 
- I began a very intense focus in a very infinite place. I was unaware of my physical body. Nothing but parkash and shabad were there. It was an empty void. 
- There was absolutely no concept of time, space, physicality. It was nothing. 
- Whatever I could feel was vibrating. This vibration was so strong it was like an intense shredder destroying anything that existed of me. Like being sucked into a blackhole and disintegrating. The sounds were so loud. Like an entire nuclear explosion. 
- It was very short lived - I started having thoughts and within a few minutes (maybe seconds - time was not there). It ended. 
But - just like that one experience I had years and years ago - the bottomless pit of energy was there. I still do not know how to describe it. I want to try and understand what this is. But I know seeking answers will not be easy on that. I keep wondering "was that 'god'?". The first time that experience happened it completely changed my life. And having it a second time (even though it was not as intense) was still a lot. Like the opposite effect of trauma. 
When I woke up - my physical body and mind felt a level of relaxation I have not felt in a long time. I was fully stress free. I was so chilled out. I previously had a headache that was not going away. Even that was gone. 
--> What assured me of the validity was the fact that the lucid dreaming phase was in my control. Even the transmigration phase felt like a choice. It definitely was not a dream from that point on - I was neither awake or asleep. Remaining focused while the sound/vibrations also felt like a choice. The only thing that wasn't a choice was the sound/vibrations happening.  Those were coming from somewhere. Everything was merging into one. 
 
I want to get myself back into the level of practice I used to have. I am an adult now. I am in school and also working full time with so many other responsibilities. I know that is not an excuse but I fully understand why it is hard for a lot of people. My teenage years were good. I am happy a base/level of knowledge was developed during that time. And this random big experience was a bit of a wake up call. It's like waheguru literally dragging me by my feet and forcing me back into bhagti. that's what it literally felt like. like being picked up and thrown into this bottomless pit. whatever it is. I still haven't fully understood what that is. 
I hope I can get my practice back to where it used to be. I am making small changes. but I know it will take time. 
In the meantime just know I appreciate all of you guys a lot. Everyone who has given me tips and advice over the years. Everyone who has guided me. Given me feedback and even challenged my experiences for validity. It is always a challenge trying to figure out what experience is valid through "gurmat" vs the games/tricks the mind plays.  
So much love and respect to all of you. 
 

Baba Nand Singh Ji said that tell Master Tara Singh that " jo angrez denge chup krke lai leyo ".  He did not specifically mention the word Khalistan but he did want Sikh leaders to get their fair share of own raj from Gore. 
Similarly, Baba Isher Singh Ji Nanaksar vale told Maharaja Yadwinder Singh of Patiala to not to sign on deal to give up their kingdom and become part of India. But he also did not listen. 
This is what happens when few incompetent Sikh Leaders or Rajas don't listen to the bachan of pooran mahapurush , for their deeds the Sikh generation suffers. 
But Mahapurush are also in the Hukam. They will give you only signals or questions to solve, rest is upto the devotees to solve. 
In the end, its all khed of Waheguru. 
imo the real battle is against the Mind through bhagti , once you conquer mind world will fall in your feet Man Jeete Jag jit... 
 
 
 

Ironically, I was watching the trailer today looks good. Leonardo DiCaprio, mark ruffalo are involved in first nation awareness in real life. Reference smithers pipeline.

Ironically, I was watching the trailer today looks good. Leonardo DiCaprio, mark ruffalo are involved in first nation awareness in real life. Reference smithers pipeline.

Foul truth better than sweet lies, but sweet truth the sweetest of all. 

Dalsingh veer, just received feedback on easy on swearing. Lets keep it civil.

I think I am in better position these days due to meds and heart meditation. Last year I had hellish type experience as listed in op. 

I recently started Jaap of vahiguru gurmantar as suggested. Thanks so much for all feedback. 

Yes bruv, don't stray off the reservation too much. It's great to learn about other perspectives and experiences from other traditions, but I do believe we are on surer ground when we stick to frameworks of our own panth (way). Keep our Guru Sahiban's (esp. dasmesh pita for me) energy as a focal point. They balanced the spiritual with hardcore dealing with the worldly.
We love you brother. 
 
Waheguru mantar jaap is the way to go - I would have been completely bonkers without it I believe (or at least a lot more bonkers than I am). Slow down that breathing too (not in any forced way, but naturally and gradually - sehajay sehajay).     

I recently started Jaap of vahiguru gurmantar as suggested. Thanks so much for all feedback. 

I recently started Jaap of vahiguru gurmantar as suggested. Thanks so much for all feedback. 

I recently started Jaap of vahiguru gurmantar as suggested. Thanks so much for all feedback. 

Hello Veer, 
Thanks for opening up and sharing your concerns about mental health. 
We all want you to get better but only you can truly help yourself. 
I 2nd the advice by Sat. 
Please start from the basics as taught by Mahapurush , and stop the imaginations & visualizations, just drop it   Chant Waheguru with prem & slowly, chant Gurbani with Love & listen to it with ears. Do lots of physical sewa.
Sometimes its our past karam that are getting worked out.  Especially problems with spouse can worsen certain situations.  
Its very hard to find a Mahapurush like Sant Isher Singh Ji  rara sahib these days, who could guide you and point you in the right direction. 
Do ardas benti, ask for forgiveness, improve your diet inlcuding ghee, some cardio, 
Modern Medicine will have no cure for these matters, only Naam is the real Aukhad. Antipsychotics are ok in short term but long term side effects can be bad. 
Waheguru mantra has all the strength to cure any disease, have faith.  Do lots of Japa but with love and listen to it. 
Keep your brahmacharya of eyes, hands, & mind tight, When we lose brahmacharya we lose grace of Shaheed Singhs & Guru , from personal experience. 
I apologize if I sound rude, but I want you to get better. Stick to basics, and dont over intellectualize, maybe its your past sanskar. 
All the best veer 🙏
ps. and everyone reading this remember that Bhagti or Naam Japna never causes disease, its our past karam that bring us the dukh and are getting worked out and bring us closer to Guru .  Dukh Daaru ( Suffering is Medicine...) 
 

For you veer, no problem. Hope you're good brother. 

Dalsingh veer, just received feedback on easy on swearing. Lets keep it civil.

Dalsingh veer, just received feedback on easy on swearing. Lets keep it civil.

Robert adams is not fraud, not by his reading his book silence of heart anyways.  You are right regarding without full hosh is not same thing. Thanks for the advise. One thing i can confirm similiar teaching of sant jagjit singh ji harkhowale, sri ramana maharishi, sant darshan singh ji dhakki wale- you will feel cool steady sensations on right side of heart, thats how you know heart is awakened, natural abidance comes in time.

Robert adams is not fraud, not by his reading his book silence of heart anyways.  You are right regarding without full hosh is not same thing. Thanks for the advise. One thing i can confirm similiar teaching of sant jagjit singh ji harkhowale, sri ramana maharishi, sant darshan singh ji dhakki wale- you will feel cool steady sensations on right side of heart, thats how you know heart is awakened, natural abidance comes in time.

- Gurbani has lot of references on hirdee, rideh. Eg Sukhmani sahib, Anand Sahib
- One line of thought which is quite convincing is our self resides in same as deep sleep-one feeling indifference to three states jagrat, suapan, sukhopat is turiya well maintained abidance in hirde 24/7 in hirda.
- Second line of thought which is also quite convincing self resides in tenth door/crown chakra. Both above are true at the same time. Listen to sant jagjit singh ji tapes question and answers.
- Robert Adams was student of ramana maharishi.
- I found another interesting article which I used experencially- https://beezone.com/wide-stacks-many-topics/three_stations_of_the_hear.html
- I made a link between sant isher singh ji rara sahib video above with sant darshan singh ji article below on hirde 
 

Robert adams is not fraud, not by his reading his book silence of heart anyways.  You are right regarding without full hosh is not same thing. Thanks for the advise. One thing i can confirm similiar teaching of sant jagjit singh ji harkhowale, sri ramana maharishi, sant darshan singh ji dhakki wale- you will feel cool steady sensations on right side of heart, thats how you know heart is awakened, natural abidance comes in time.