My continued spiritual struggle - ghost possession, mental illness, heart awakening and more

[sarabatam]

As you know from last year, I started posting lot of stuff in regards to heart healing project and what not, most of it was guided by the voice as i can hear the other people voices (even heard aussie woman), it was guided- I am not sure how much is true i did experiment some of it with good dna altering with heart rates that work like charm. Anyway, forgot about the forget heart healing project for sec, here is the fun and scary party- I was attacked by christian demon - lucifier for a day while my spiritual heart was opened I could hear his rambling on 3rd eye voice travelling from navel (material world). I truly believe ghost exist- my blood bones were sucked inwards , felt like zombie then i came back- heard a voice lucifier. I think the process is called channeling spirits he need to cross over (i am assuming), saw echkhart tolle video on channeling spirits.

Fast fwd to now I m on lot of medical pills for PTSD and schizophrenia (sant jagjit singh ji harkhowale told to stay on it) as i heard other people voices for 2 months i beleive its telepathy. Needless to say,  its been traumatic, meds are there  to control it kicks in when i m not meditating.  It is been quite peaceful and calm when i am meditating on spiritual heart center right side of chest feel-awareness at the level of heart expands. I saw brillant white light on 3rd eye, One of indications heart center opens you will amazing coolness , cool breeze on right side of chest. Here are some of references. I am sharing this because dont be discouraged by the path, if you have done ardas for self realization not just it will happen, it will throbbed on to you. 

There are plenty of references of hirde/ride/in sukhmani sahib, anand sahib and nij ghar in gurbani . Here are some from outside sources which are very interesting.

[sarabatam]

From 35 mins onwards.

 

 

[Soulfinder]

@sarabatamthanks very much veer ji for sharing this. Dass hopes your health improves very soon as i too suffer from depression and i am on pills as well 

[dalsingh101]

@sarabatam @Soulfinder

You brought something up that is hard to talk about. 

There was a time when my bhagti was infinitely more regular and longer than it is now. It's hard to describe/explain but I began to feel like I was.......opening up channels and abilities with myself. This could be seriously disconcerting. So I backed down from it a bit. I still do simran fairly regularly, but not for as long. Even then, back in the day 20 minute/25 minute simran was a lot for me. Now I just do 10 minutes (for now). I'm just wondering if bhagti without certain frameworks/protocols can do this to you? It's like weight training when young, and people go all in, but because they are ignorant of form, and having to develop smaller supporting muscles at the same time it leads to all sorts of issuses in the long run, like impingements/muscle imbalances/tears of tendons, ligaments. 

 

As for depression/anxiety etc. Maybe try some sukha leaf tea? Nothing too strong, basically:

Just a few leaves of dried sukha (fan leaves I think they call them - it's the bit most growers throw away, so about 5 of them). Powder them in the palm of your hand and throw in some water, add:

a spoon of some sort of oil like coconut or keeo,

a couple of small green laichis (smash them in a mortar and pestle first)

a teaspoon of saunf,

a small stick of dal-chini,

3 or 4 cloves (very important),

a pinch of that red stuff off nutmegs (forgot what it's called).

and a few twists of freshly crushed kali mirch

Get it gently boiling for 20 minutes (time it!) and then strain some in a cup and have it with a splash of milk (like tea). 

 

This might help?     

[sarabatam]

Thanks for your post dalsingh. Make sense. I spoke to Sant ji he said don't do too much. That's why bhagti nitnem and self contemplation goes hand in hand so defo there are some guidelines. I do meditation less now.

One thing from all of this sure self mastery is key. 

[dalsingh101]

2 minutes ago, sarabatam said:

Thanks for your post dalsingh. Make sense. I spoke to Sant ji he said don't do too much. That's why bhagti nitnem and self contemplation goes hand in hand so defo there are some guidelines. I do meditation less now.

One thing from all of this sure self mastery is key. 

You have to evaluate yourself fairly regularly too. I loved where the bhagti was taking me, but I think it was making me 'strange' amongst people I had to work with. Plus other things, like being able to sense people's aura's more - and then say walking past someone randomly in a supermarket and feeling palpable, sick twisted, murderous, psycho darkness from them that overwhelms your senses. 

Just back off the simran a bit, and get that sukha tea down you (try it out, you can get the leaves easily where you are). I think the leaves are better than 'jack and jills'.  The recipe is inspired from our nihang ancestors btw. 

[sarabatam]

I just take it easy now, i purposely close my atentas for lack of better word- crown chakra, i just chill out heart center, cool silent feeling what happens is I thought which is raised in brain which is reason for causing all the thoughts have automatically gone to I heart ensuing peace for most part without much effort. The problem start when i start playing around chakras without master oh boy channeling spirits telepathy voices took toll on me. Will try sukha nihang style.

[sarabatam]

@Lucky @Sat1176 love your input in this.

[dalsingh101]

8 minutes ago, sarabatam said:

Will try sukha nihang style.

Let me know how you get on with it. Works wonders for me, and everyone else who I know who has had it. Calms your mind down without being all over the place buzzing. 

[Soulfinder]

57 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

@sarabatam @Soulfinder

You brought something up that is hard to talk about. 

There was a time when my bhagti was infinitely more regular and longer than it is now. It's hard to describe/explain but I began to feel like I was.......opening up channels and abilities with myself. This could be seriously disconcerting. So I backed down from it a bit. I still do simran fairly regularly, but not for as long. Even then, back in the day 20 minute/25 minute simran was a lot for me. Now I just do 10 minutes (for now). I'm just wondering if bhagti without certain frameworks/protocols can do this to you? It's like weight training when young, and people go all in, but because they are ignorant of form, and having to develop smaller supporting muscles at the same time it leads to all sorts of issuses in the long run, like impingements/muscle imbalances/tears of tendons, ligaments. 

 

As for depression/anxiety etc. Maybe try some sukha leaf tea? Nothing too strong, basically:

Just a few leaves of dried sukha (fan leaves I think they call them - it's the bit most growers throw away, so about 5 of them). Powder them in the palm of your hand and throw in some water, add:

a spoon of some sort of oil like coconut or keeo,

a couple of small green laichis (smash them in a mortar and pestle first)

a teaspoon of saunf,

a small stick of dal-chini,

3 or 4 cloves (very important),

a pinch of that red stuff off nutmegs (forgot what it's called).

and a few twists of freshly crushed kali mirch

Get it gently boiling for 20 minutes (time it!) and then strain some in a cup and have it with a splash of milk (like tea). 

 

This might help?     

Brilliant and excellent post thanks veer ji for posting. A lot of people don't know or understand what i have go through so my parents have kept quiet gupt about my health conditions to the world especially when someone asks do i go to work ? Thats the worst one.

 

Yes its hard what i have to live with but luckly the banis that dass read help me feel uplifted a lot especially the bir ras from chandi dasam banis alongside sukhmani sahib. 

 

At the moment i have got my next appointment after waiting 6 months with a pyscharcist late this month so i am hoping things will improve for me. As i have been left alone without any mental health support apart from the medications like zopiclone, diazepam which is what i have been given monthly by the previous psychiatrist team. 

 

As i am taking at the current moment aripiprazole , sodium valproate,duloxetine ,promethazine, propranolol and vitamin d100iu. My weight has increased for which i need to join gym for as its getting too much this. 

 

Thats quiet something you have shared veer ji about doing simran and opening up channels. For me a lot of things went bad to worse after i did ardas for someone which backfired on me big time. I can talk about that more in detail in private message as its not something that i would want to share public as it involves my downfall and horrific nightmares.

[Soulfinder]

@sarabatamveer ji i hope things improve and get better for you cos what you have written isn't pleasant as i am also in a similar situation as yours. I tried to talk about my nightmares to the therapist but you know how these westerns think especially with the stuff in my dreams

[sarabatam]

Tolle talks about Channeling spirits 

https://youtu.be/bB_2PRU3ppE

[dalsingh101]

My guess would be that simran starts making boundaries between dimensions more porous. And if these boundaries are made of maya - it makes perfect sense in relation to what Sikhi teaches. 

It's not all bad. Like I had opportunities to reconcile with relatives who had passed away and with whom I wasn't speaking. It was healing for me, and maybe they were able to move on as well afterwards?

My belief is that some people seem more 'sensitive' or predisposed to be able to 'connect' or break the boundaries than others in the first place. They are the ones who naturally seem to have greater empathy, intuition, mental strength and other characteristics from young. So when they start doing simran/bhagti, their already natural inclinations sort of push them into deep territory comparatively rapidly. If they aren't ready or prepared for it, it may cause issues.     

I think some people (like those sociopathically inclined) are trapped in this realm/dimension and can't ever experience other ones or get near them even. 

[dalsingh101]

@sarabatam

Bro, if you've been flying in the ether too much, you need to get grounded again!!

Link with the earth, do gardening and watch the plants grow. Do some craftsman stuff as well if you can. It will help bring you down from the ether back to the earth. Make sure it is physical. Training is good too. 

[Sat1176]

Bro, 

Are you taking instruction from a teacher about what techniques you should be doing for your spiritual practices? You seem to have been greatly impacted by physic abilities. If your going it alone and just following books and what not then be careful.

You may want to have a chat with one of the gurmukhs from pmkc and tell them what your experiencing. From what I’ve heard one should always keep anhad Shabad with them when doing dhyan. From what I have read from your posts you don’t do gurmantar Jaap but go straight onto dhyan techniques. 

maybe start with Bhai Ramanpreet Singh in US. He speaks good English so you may be able to communicate effectively with him.

Bhai Dharamjit Singh from Gurmat Meditation is another helpful and experienced soul. 

There is also Bhai Nirvair Singh from Akal Sahai Waheguru Naam Leva but he is keen on taking on fresh students and not those linked or attached to others or come with loads of gyan as there is too much to unlearn and start again, but he still might be able offer you some guidance or let you know if you have gone off the beaten track.

I would be seriously concerned if I were you. In Q&As with Gurmukhs, I have heard people mention harassment from entities. But over time and with guidance these things went away and no longer harassed abhiyasis. You need help and I’m not sure if your getting it because you mentioned this before.

Get a 2nd opinion from someone else other than Sant Jagjit Singh. No offence intended bud, but you have been struggling with this for a while now and from what I’m reading it’s getting worse.  

 

[sarabatam]

Sant jagjit Singh Ji also told me japa of gurmantar so been doing that lately. I picked up on lot of clues from Sant Darshan Singh dhakkiwale heart center article.

[Sat1176]

34 minutes ago, sarabatam said:

Sant jagjit Singh Ji also told me japa of gurmantar so been doing that lately. I picked up on lot of clues from Sant Darshan Singh dhakkiwale heart center article.

Sorry but the clues may have been misinterpreted by you and now you’re in an area that is out of your depth and the people who wrote them are not here either to guide you or hold your hand. They are not here to give you assurances that you go through these stages and how to handle and progress beyond them. 
 

 

[sarabatam]

I think I am in better position these days due to meds and heart meditation. Last year I had hellish type experience as listed in op. 

[CuriousSeeker]

I agree with @Sat1176.  

 

@sarabatamYour mixing advait vedanta/self inquiry and bhagti maarg.  Even Maharishi Ramanas references to hirda/heart and Sant Isher Singh jis bachan are being misinterpreted.  In the divaan they are talking about where the mind goes in 3 stages below turiya.  Can't have your feet in multiple boats at the same time.  Even if bhagti/self inquiry go hand in hand EVENTUALLY (from a realization P.ov, not a theoretical mental understanding).  As for the guidance on self inquiry, there are a few public teachers but no one at Maharishi's fortitude.

Go back to the basics, drop the mental gyaan and just build from there.  As @Sat1176pointed out there are gurmukhs in the public sphere that guide well on bhagti maarg, even if not all at fully realized atam gyan it's a good start.  Books and mixing and matching bachans from various realized maha atmas has left you not far from your initial starting point.  Need guidance from someone who you can speak and communicate with regularly .

More clarification on Maharishis teachings as imo he is the best source for Maharishi Ramanas life/teachings.

https://www.davidgodman.org/meditation-on-the-heart-centre/

 

 

[GurjantGnostic]

I think the combined advice here is excellent. I put faith in Gurbani not men. I don't think...the avastha is as advertised in these people. And it's easy to take simple things and mess them up with over intellectualizing them. 

[sarabatam]

- Gurbani has lot of references on hirdee, rideh. Eg Sukhmani sahib, Anand Sahib

- One line of thought which is quite convincing is our self resides in same as deep sleep-one feeling indifference to three states jagrat, suapan, sukhopat is turiya well maintained abidance in hirde 24/7 in hirda.

- Second line of thought which is also quite convincing self resides in tenth door/crown chakra. Both above are true at the same time. Listen to sant jagjit singh ji tapes question and answers.

- Robert Adams was student of ramana maharishi.

- I found another interesting article which I used experencially- https://beezone.com/wide-stacks-many-topics/three_stations_of_the_hear.html

Quote

 

The right side of the heart is the seat of the separate conscious self. In the sixth stage of life, the right side of the heart becomes awakened as the root-origin of attention, and the seat of the Witness-Position of Consciousness. As has been described, at the culmination of the ascending process, the Spirit-Energy “falls”, or comes to rest, in the right side of the Spirit Energy in heart.

It is in the seventh stage of life that the Spirit-Current rises again in the “regeneration” of Amrita Nadi, from the right side of the heart to the matrix above the head. In this process, the body itself is infused with the Divine Spirit-Current in the Circle of the body-mind. Thus, the heart on the right remains always as the “foot” of the “organ” of Divine Self-Realization that is “Amrita Nadi”.

 

- I made a link between sant isher singh ji rara sahib video above with sant darshan singh ji article below on hirde 

 

[CuriousSeeker]

22 minutes ago, sarabatam said:

- Gurbani has lot of references on hirdee, rideh. Eg Sukhmani sahib, Anand Sahib

- One line of thought which is quite convincing is our self resides in same as deep sleep-one feeling indifference to three states jagrat, suapan, sukhopat is turiya well maintained abidance in hirde 24/7 in hirda.

- Second line of thought which is also quite convincing self resides in tenth door/crown chakra. Both above are true at the same time. Listen to sant jagjit singh ji tapes question and answers.

- Robert Adams was student of ramana maharishi.

- I found another interesting article which I used experencially- https://beezone.com/wide-stacks-many-topics/three_stations_of_the_hear.html

- I made a link between sant isher singh ji rara sahib video above with sant darshan singh ji article below on hirde 

 

I'm speaking about regarding concentration on hirda(right side).  Look into the link I posted. 

My point is your doing that all self guided, from books mixing and matching bachans according to your intellect.  You're putting your feet in many boats (mahatmas methods), in turn following no one's completely.  Not a personal attack.

Regarding your other point, about turiya yes and no.  Without hosh/full awareness it's not the same thing.   

Ps: Robert Adams is a fraud(never met Maharishi) among other things hes claimed  Excellent speaker though.  I'm familiar with most of public Ramana Maharishi lineage.  Godman also confirmed that, along with a few others.

Either way do what you must, intellect/thoery can be a burden as with the pundits from history.  Gets in the way of surrender required on both bhagti maarg/self-inquiry.    

[GurjantGnostic]

2 hours ago, CuriousSeeker said:

I'm speaking about regarding concentration on hirda(right side).  Look into the link I posted. 

My point is your doing that all self guided, from books mixing and matching bachans according to your intellect.  You're putting your feet in many boats (mahatmas methods), in turn following no one's completely.  Not a personal attack.

Regarding your other point, about turiya yes and no.  Without hosh/full awareness it's not the same thing.   

Ps: Robert Adams is a fraud(never met Maharishi) among other things hes claimed  Excellent speaker though.  I'm familiar with most of public Ramana Maharishi lineage.  Godman also confirmed that, along with a few others.

Either way do what you must, intellect/thoery can be a burden as with the pundits from history.  Gets in the way of surrender required on both bhagti maarg/self-inquiry.    

My point is show me in Gurbani. 

[sarabatam]

6 hours ago, CuriousSeeker said:

I'm speaking about regarding concentration on hirda(right side).  Look into the link I posted. 

My point is your doing that all self guided, from books mixing and matching bachans according to your intellect.  You're putting your feet in many boats (mahatmas methods), in turn following no one's completely.  Not a personal attack.

Regarding your other point, about turiya yes and no.  Without hosh/full awareness it's not the same thing.   

Ps: Robert Adams is a fraud(never met Maharishi) among other things hes claimed  Excellent speaker though.  I'm familiar with most of public Ramana Maharishi lineage.  Godman also confirmed that, along with a few others.

Either way do what you must, intellect/thoery can be a burden as with the pundits from history.  Gets in the way of surrender required on both bhagti maarg/self-inquiry.    

Robert adams is not fraud, not by his reading his book silence of heart anyways.  You are right regarding without full hosh is not same thing. Thanks for the advise. One thing i can confirm similiar teaching of sant jagjit singh ji harkhowale, sri ramana maharishi, sant darshan singh ji dhakki wale- you will feel cool steady sensations on right side of heart, thats how you know heart is awakened, natural abidance comes in time.

[Ragmaala]

Hello Veer, 

Thanks for opening up and sharing your concerns about mental health. 

We all want you to get better but only you can truly help yourself. 

I 2nd the advice by Sat. 

Please start from the basics as taught by Mahapurush , and stop the imaginations & visualizations, just drop it   Chant Waheguru with prem & slowly, chant Gurbani with Love & listen to it with ears. Do lots of physical sewa.

Sometimes its our past karam that are getting worked out.  Especially problems with spouse can worsen certain situations.  

Its very hard to find a Mahapurush like Sant Isher Singh Ji  rara sahib these days, who could guide you and point you in the right direction. 

Do ardas benti, ask for forgiveness, improve your diet inlcuding ghee, some cardio, 

Modern Medicine will have no cure for these matters, only Naam is the real Aukhad. Antipsychotics are ok in short term but long term side effects can be bad. 

Waheguru mantra has all the strength to cure any disease, have faith.  Do lots of Japa but with love and listen to it. 

Keep your brahmacharya of eyes, hands, & mind tight, When we lose brahmacharya we lose grace of Shaheed Singhs & Guru , from personal experience. 

I apologize if I sound rude, but I want you to get better. Stick to basics, and dont over intellectualize, maybe its your past sanskar. 

All the best veer 

ps. and everyone reading this remember that Bhagti or Naam Japna never causes disease, its our past karam that bring us the dukh and are getting worked out and bring us closer to Guru .  Dukh Daaru ( Suffering is Medicine...)