Waheguru

[Ragmaala]

Waheguru

 

 

[paapiman]

12 hours ago, Gunahgar said:

This is probably the darkest phase of my life.  Its mostly related to career. My field has become so  competitive that all future hopes seem zero.  I cant even describe the feelings , and no one would probably understand.

Hopefully, I can bounce back from it.

I do pity myself, I understand its not good.

What has shaken me the most is the concept of Prayer, the concept of lekha & pralabdha...the deepest & the only desire to achieve something & not getting it.

This has been going on for past 2 years, but particularly this week of the year is quite reminiscent for me for certain reasons. All the memories come back and years roll by in front of my screen.

I do have some regrets about certain course of events that might have taken a certain direction had I not done certain actions. There a lots of ifs.

All this is not good and its useless. Every time I try to bounce back , the feelings do put me down. Little things can trigger.

I know there are people who have it worse than me.

Just throwing out random some thoughts, maybe I will come back here in few months or look back in years, hoping for things or times to improve...

I know we all have certain demons in our lives. Cant say mine is worse than yours.

I feel I talk about big concepts in spirituality and I can't even handle basic shit in life. lol. Shame on me.

Bro, please try the Jaap below.

 

 

 

Ref: Satguru Shabad Sidhi Bhandar

 

Bhul chuk maaf

 

 

[paapiman]

12 hours ago, Gunahgar said:

This is probably the darkest phase of my life.  Its mostly related to career. My field has become so  competitive that all future hopes seem zero.  

To find a good job, please try the Jaap below.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Ragmaala]

Waheguru

[dalsingh101]

Dude, if you're going to have to hit a bottom to realise what is important and what isn't, then so be it. 

These are times when lots of people are having a lot of career difficulties. I know loads of professionals in that boat right now. 

I suggest focusing your dhian on people even less fortunate than you, like refugees stuck in camps; people who are going hungry through poverty; people living on the streets; people who've been sexually abused by family members they were supposed to be able to trust; people with terminal illnesses; people born with severe disabilities; orphans of war. 

When I feel down, I think about people less fortunate than me - not to gloat, but to put things in perspective. Then I realise that despite whatever I feel low about - in a fair few ways, I'm lucky.  

More than that, I tell myself I'm a man, I can't wallow in self-pity. I have to endure. Be stoic. Persevere. Thinking about our ancestors helps me in this big time. 

Despite everything you are feeling right now: list 3 things that you are grateful for right now.

Use the training that you've had with doing simran, where we ignore thoughts, to do the same with the negative thoughts you are having right now.  Let them waft away..... then....focus on those 3 things you noted previously.

 

 

[samurai]

I feel for you bro... 

Don't assume people will not understand as if you open up people may share a little bit about them-self which will make you realise thats things could be a lot worse. 

I've also been in a position where i couldn't get a job and sitting at home with law degree. It got to a point where i started working on construction sites and doing driving jobs (needed the money) i lost all hope in terms of career, but i've never been a career minded person..Its only recently that i got an 'office' job and this was simply because i looked at another direction in terms of career. You may want to consider other options interms of your career. (i know this will be very hard)

Being in a dark times can be a blessing in disguise (people used to piss me off when they would say that to me, but its true), you will find out who is really there for you. My nani would always say to me 'it's not important for you to be around people in their happy times but make sure you are there for them in their sad times.'  

On more practical level, stick to your bani and consider doing some jaap's of manters you are familiar with. (get digital counter) Most will say do sukhmani sahib paath, which is very good but i felt personally dasam bani manters helped me big time(this worked for me, it may not work for you). 

Try not staying home all day, this is mentally draining, even if you go for hour walk in morning and hour at night. carry on training...don't stop this!!

If you can do some voluntary work, (or any work), its good just to be out and interacting with other people.

If you don't mind me asking, are your parents supportive of your situation...when i started working on sites my dad couldn't accept the fact that i was doing a laborers job with a degree..lol. we clashed a lot. But a job is a job.

You will get through this like a' babbar sher'..lol..........Keep your head up bro..

[GurpreetKaur]

I will share this, maybe you will realize most of us are not that perfect and how some things do shape us up. Plus I wanna rant too lol

When we came here, I was in high school and summer breaks came which were freaking three months long. We had no Tv, no computer, nothing. I was home alone since mom dad bro would go to work and out of my loneliness and boredness I used to cry whole day long. Was I pretty much close to being Insane, yes I was. And no I had no friends either and had severe social anxiety to even go near people. Loneliness was never a problem but those three months drove me insane. I can still see myself, it was like someone being in mental asylum lol I seriously did not know what to do with my time and my mind. Plus we were in apartment and it seemed like a jail to me lol

Second summer break came and we had tv and computer by now but I still had three months and I started to work out like crazy. Whole day I used to do aerobic exercise by playing Music and my emotional pain never bothered me. I kinda built a foundation for good health here so not complaining about exercising to a level where I was exhausted by the night, I was training back then for an inner yudh. Lol Exercise was my way to avoid my mind and thoughts.

Third summer break came and in those breaks I started reading self help books, I was reading soo many books from self help to spirituality to brain to occult/ esoteric knowledge anything which can help me with my social anxiety. It helped, after almost 2 years, my social anxiety went away. It was not jus shyness, it was the worst one where I just could not talk front of people and would cry. I don't know how many times I cried front of kids and profs in high school lol.

These three summer breaks did me a huge favor. First one was spent by crying to avoid my mind( hardest one) , second one was spent by doing physical exercise to avoid my mind, third one was spent by reading to keep my mind busy. What I know today, if I knew back then I would have done so much mediation to conquer my mind lol but what I know today I would have never known if I never went through those phases. 

I never ever thought that I will ever get rid of my social anxiety but I did. Now I have no problem talking to people, giving speeches unless it's a huge crowd lol. It took me almost 20 years of numerous taunts where I was constantly told Oh you are not dumb you should speak and that used to hurt like hell. Since I would not just act dumb out of my luxury lol. This was the biggest reason which created a hindrance in so many other things in life. 

I still have plenty of fears and problems to deal with, but this was one of the biggest one and I got out of it and so I know other problems will be over too. I know how you are feelings right now, I have spent couple last few months in a deep deep depression and only path got me out of it. If I get sad or low, I do stuff to balance myself out which can be doing a gratitude journal, meditation, listening to uplifting lecture or looking at people who are less fortunate than me ( as dalsingh ji said, it some time helps).

The point is we all are in a same boat, my life might seem better to you and your life might seems better to me but in the end we all are dealing with our crappy emotions and with time we Learn to suck it up lol. Good days and bad will keep coming. I am not that down these days but I know one day a low phase will come too but now I kinda know how to Handle it I think. 

 

Interesting stuff 

 

[Ragmaala]

Waheguru

[GurpreetKaur]

12 minutes ago, Gunahgar said:

There are certain milestones in life that should happen at certain points in lifetime. If its delayed, it sucks big time. Spending 10 years of college & hundred grands for education and when its time to reap, there is no harvest , & no fruit.  At the same time watching your colleagues who were less smarter than you achieving their dreams because of pure luck or other factors, and you getting left behind is the worst feeling ever. At this point, the faith in prayers & higher power is gone.

But this is how Life is. Seems like you wont get more than what your pralabdha is. I guess I just have to deal with it, and do whatever can be done in meantime.

Everyones life journey is unique, with unique challenges.

Man you depressed.joke sunawa?

[Ragmaala]

On 2016-03-18 at 7:44 PM, GurpreetKaur said:

Man you depressed.joke sunawa?

.

[Guest guest]

22 hours ago, Gunahgar said:

I do have some regrets about certain course of events that might have taken a certain direction had I not done certain actions. There a lots of ifs.

this is not a productive attitude.  it is a very futile attitude.  and if i was you, i would drop it.  the past is over and outside your control.  you acted then according to your knowledge and ability, so forgive yourself for that and move on.  the important thing is to think about what you can LEARN from it and then forget about it. 

so i would say the cause of your misery is not your circumstances but the attitude/approach you have adopted, which you can (happily) change.  "attitude is everything" "life is what you make it" these sayings are all true. 

on a more practical level, if your career prospects are poor, why dont you find a way to improve them?  more study etc.  if you really want something in life, you usually have to work for it.  also, maybe remind yourself that there are more important things in life than career, and not to confuse the two. 

[paapiman]

@Gunahgar

Bro, you are still young (close to 30). It is too early to start thinking negative. Maharaaj can change your Paralabd too. Sometimes, we desire certain things in life, which are actually not beneficial for us. Maharaaj is our parent (you are a Singh) and he will always do the best for us.

Are you 100% sure that if you had achieved your career goals, you would be more happy than you are, right now?

Focus on two points:

• Apply Gurmat principles in your life. Do self-analysis and see if your life style is actually in accordance with Gurmat or not.
• Keep doing Naam Simran (Kirtan, Katha, Jaap, etc)

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Ragmaala]

Waheguru

[samurai]

1 hour ago, Gunahgar said:

They are the best parents I could ask for, zero complaints. Thats what makes me even sadder, because I couldnt make them happier. They are also sad because of my situation lol. But they are v supportive & quite content.

Bro, that's half the battle won when you got immediate family on your side.. For me i clashed with my old man a lot but got my support from mum and nani...I think with dad it was an ego thing, like wanted me to be a top lawyer and parade me around like a trophy but having said that its also because hes come through hard times and prob just wanted best for me... see bro, already  a plus by comparing to my situation, im sure if i shared more of my past you'll be soo greatfull of your current situation..lol. i also know people is more messed up situation/past then me..so accept it and just move on/forward..

I'm sure something will come up.....perseverance man..if you really are keen to just get in the area you studied you may want to consider relocating where ever you can get something, you can always go back home once you got experience..

 

1 hour ago, Gunahgar said:

This is the main reason I started lifting, and now getting more serious about it, past 5-6 months were just trial & error, now getting a better idea to focus on increasing weights, setting PRs & feeling like a :

21 hours ago, samurai said:

babbar sher

lol....wicked man..good on you..

[Ragmaala]

For those who you are wondering, I am fine.  It was never clinical depression in the first place, just a state of mind which likes to makes excuses.  Thank God,  ship has not sunk that deep.

For those who are wondering, how to diagnose Depression, here is how you do it.  Here is a little education:

Use the mnemonic  MSIGECAPS  ( mood depressed, sleep, interest loss, guilt, energy deficit, decreased concentration, appetite increased or decreased, psychomotor agitation or retardation, suicidal ideation) In order to diagnose, you need more than 5 of the above for a period of atleast two weeks.

So clinically I was never depressed. Sorry , if I have given the wrong ideas here. I guess I will work more on what I am writing & what I am trying to convey!.

[Harjots8963]

On 3/18/2016 at 4:44 PM, GurpreetKaur said:

Man you depressed.joke sunawa?

This made me laugh for an embarrassing amount of time.... HAHA. 

[BhagatSingh]

5 hours ago, Gunahgar said:

For those who you are wondering, I am fine.  It was never clinical depression in the first place, just a state of mind which likes to makes excuses.  Thank God,  ship has not sunk that deep.

Good to hear!

[Guest]

On 18 March 2016 at 2:05 AM, Gunahgar said:

I feel I talk about big concepts in spirituality and I can't even handle basic shit in life. lol. Shame on me.

 

 

I don't think you do, so don't feel so bad about it.  

[Guest]

On 3/18/2016 at 7:20 PM, paapiman said:

Bro, please try the Jaap below.

 

 

 

Ref: Satguru Shabad Sidhi Bhandar

 

Bhul chuk maaf

 

 

Hey @paapiman,

Stop this Manmat! You seems to be promoting this manmat all over the forum. 

Is there any Jaap to stop you permanently from propagating these anti-gurmat activities? 

Guruji Spent years pulling us out of these mantar karamkand, but you seems to be running a parallel Sikhism of your own.

 

 

 

[Rock]

Paapiman is not wrong. These things do work, but the conditions for them to work are very very strict. I think its better if you learn these things from a Gursikh or Mahapurush who themselves have experience with it. But since its the time of ghor Kalyug one should just stick to basics & will do well. Just live life according to simple teachings of Guru, one should be fine, and keep good sangat.

[Rock]

A good question for Papiman would be if he himself did any Japa of the above mantras & seen results ?  It would be nice to hear your experience.

[delibeli]

The best thing for you is to book two weeks in a retreat to gather your thoughts. Retreats can be a wonderful experience, they help us to reconnect with our inner reality.  You do feel rejuvenated after a few days there. Also, don't forget to recite your daily prayers.  Praying before meditation helps us to reach that inner Silence which is within all of us  without effort and that's where we find answers to our problems.

[SAadmin]

deslibeli bro, welcome to the forum. You have four different user ids on this forum. Please let us know which ones to disable and delete from the forum, just to let you know multiple user ids are not allowed on this forum and if you post as guest, initial it at the bottom.

 

1. MakhannaS
    
    harkirat23
    
    shangrilla100

   • 
     
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[delibeli]

....... This is 'cos we are all using the same computer.

[paapiman]

@Gunahgar

Some more things you can try bro:

• Maintain a schedule 
• Cold showers
• Sangat of Gurmukhs - you might feel better after talking with them
• Go to Gurudwara at Amritvela and listen to Kirtan
• Take a vacation - you might feel better after that
• Watch comedy movies/shows (the ones which conform with Gurmat)
• Read jokes (the ones which conform with Gurmat)

 

Please have a look at this too.

 

Bhul chuk maaf