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forcing religion on ur kids?? right or wrong

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do you think it is right to force religion on ur kids (ie making them wear a pagh etc)?

i have friends who had religion forced on them but they ended up like complete dossers and didnt follow religion as they were forced..

on the other handi have had few friends chose sikhi themselves and were not forced..

if u lot have kids, would u make them wear a pagh or literally make them follow ur religion?

is it right?

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its not about force - its about respect - education and understanding

religion cannot be forced upon anyone - u have to discover it urself - parents shud encourage learning about ur religion as u grow up

why u keep kesh - why people take amrit - what our gurus did for us - why shouldnt we eat meat - and all these things

my family is religious and ever since a young age ive been taken to the gurdwara by my mom n dad - we used to live round the corner from the gurdwara so we always used to go on a regular basis

ok as a kid u may not really understand what is goin on - but u learn about rights and wrongs thats for sure - u learn about respect for women - learn about wats right and wats wrong - respect for ur mom and dad - and slowly this all becomes into a need to learn more about ur religion - there isnt one person here who will say they know enuff about their religion - cos this search lasts a lifetime.... not 5 mins in the gurdwara once a week on a sunday....

and also - people who do feel that they dont like their religion - be it

sikhi - islam - hinduism - christianity - its because they havent givin themselves the chance to sit down n read about it - its as simple as that - when u learn about ur religion - then no one can force u - no one can stop u - from learn more :D:D:D:D

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Guest kaur1699

hmm.... its up to parents to educate their kids about religion.... this way the kids hav an idea about things... if kids are not told anything then they can't make an educated decision about it all... wat our parents teach/tell us is a foundation... and once the foundation is laid its up the individual to carry on...

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hmm.... its up to parents to educate their kids about religion.... this way the kids hav an idea about things... if kids are not told anything then they can't make an educated decision about it all... wat our parents teach/tell us is a foundation... and once the foundation is laid its up the individual to carry on...


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naaaaaa... u gotto 2 do it out of love. bring them in with love.

but i agree... recently parents arnt teaching kids wotgwan about the religion.

Thats y ppl like SAints share theire exp and knowlege... cus dey know how

Its notknowing the knowlege and just telling sum1. You have to know how too.

Just my opinion of being brought into Sikhi.

so far.

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i can really relate to what Steel bangle has said in his post..

i also only live five mins away from the gurdwara and have been regularly attending since i was a lil kid..

i think in general u cannot force n e thin on n e 1, because eventually if you do it the wrong way then there is always a chance it will totally blow up in ur face when your kids reach a certain age..

believing comes from within.. but u can help your kids to learn, to educate and surround them with positive examples of sikhism, like someone said once the flame is lit, then it very rarely is exstinguished..

fatherhood does scare me and its something which drives me further and further to learn about my faith, because i believe its something i really want to pass onto my children and if i myself dont know anything what am i going to teach my children..

i lay my prayers at Gods door and hope he blesses my children with the same belief he has blessed me with..

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i lay my prayers at Gods door and hope he blesses my children with the same belief he has blessed me with..

fateh - everyones kids are born with nothin in their minds - they have no hate - they have no religion - they have no prejudice.... wat they learn in their first few yrs of life will be branded on them for the rest of their lives

personally i have had a fairly good upbringin by my parents - i was taught the difference between right and wrong / the basics of my religion and wat we believe in - and i thank waheguru and my parents for giving me this stepping stone into sikhi - or else who knows wat i wud be doing now


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  • 2 months later...

wahguroo ji ka khalsa

waheguroo ji ki fateh

u guys r very fortunate to of have been blessed wid gursikh homes...i wasnt brought up in a gursikh home and have done some very stupid bad things, but evrytime i did something bad, i felt EXTREMELY GUILTY AND ASHAMED and still do...i thought abt wateva bad thing i did over and over again and man i felt disgusted wid myself i felt like it wasnt me but me...i felt stuck and pathetic...felt like something was missing soo much,..didnt even used to go to the gurdwara, didnt even know wat it meant to do a mutha tek to Guru Ji, when my sis took amrit and she used to make me go to the gurdwara and then hearing katha and seeing the sangat God showed me the way and saved this sinner but im still a sinner guys...now im amritdari and have direction of life now...GOD's GRACE..

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the problem we have today is that many young sikhs are "manufactured" and have no ounce of knowledge of Sikhi, in return when they grow up they walk away into world that is is far away from the truth.

naaa i dont agree with this cos the world we live in is supposed to be far away from the truth, its up to to child to decide weather or not he/she will be a manmukh an follow the ways of the world which is far from the truth,

or live as a gurmukh an follow the ways of the guru an then to realise the truth, that sikhi is all the truth they need, and not this world which is full of Kaam, krohd, Lohb, Moh and Ankhar :wink:

also the parents need to teach their children from the word go, this way all they will know is sikhi which is all they need to know in order to live in the kirpa of Vaheguru, an this dosent mean "force" them, parents need to do it with pyaar.

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When a child is born, does it know what religion it belongs to?

..if it does not have a faith then, the who decides what faith the child should follow?

..who's right is it to decide the fate of a child?

..is it destiny what faith a child follows? or is it something imprinted on the child by its surroundings?

Most people today cannot even adhere/speak the truth yet claim to be such great followers of their respective faiths.

Why not teach a child to simply speak the TRUTH? ...the essence of all faiths.

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  • 1 month later...

I apologise for the length of this post, especially as it is my first. It sounds like my life story, actually it is. But I feel it addresses the issue of whether parents can hope to succeed in sharing their faith with their children.

When I was about ten years old a number of people close to my father died. Not long after this my father began to take a real interest in Sikhi, he seemed to draw great comfort from it. He grew what was left of his hair, stopped drinking and eating meat, and started studying the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. Once he had managed to convince my mother, my parents took amrit together. Not long after my father turned his attentions towards sharing his new found faith with his children. He started teaching us to read the guru granth sahib.

His efforts went unrewarded. As he himself had not grown up as a gursikh he did not have the authority to force us to do so simply by his say so. Although I had learnt to recite the jap ji sahib and had started learning rehras sahib, I resented having to sit with my father to learn to recite something I didn’t understand. I could not stand my parents disapproving of me doing things that they themselves had done not so long ago. Around the age of fourteen I lost the fear of my parents, and no longer cared if my actions pleased them. So I took an insolent tone, and said many angry and hurtful things. I implied my father’s new found religious inclinations were nothing more than a manifestation of his fear of death; that sikhi was just an excuse for him to cover his ugly bald head. I was good at arguing, and coming up with questions that my father could not answer. He even started asking my questions to his teachers at santia classes. This made me even more arrogant, I thought I knew better. I was achieving highly academically, and was looking forward to complete freedom from my parents as I left for university. By this time my father had given up.

Due to my twisted interpretation of what science has taught us, I left for university believing that our existence was an unfortunate accident. We existed as biological entities not dissimilar from viruses: designed to survive in order to breed and nothing else. This view helped me to justify leading my life in a purely hedonistic way. I’m too ashamed to tell of the sins I committed, and continue to commit. I felt as though something was missing, but assured myself that this was simply part of the human condition: wanting more.

Then this summer holiday I successfully applied for a job looking after and entertaining children in a gurdawara, where some of my fellow employees were devout sikhs my own age. Two of them in particular had an affect on me, and I have yet to have a proper discussion with them. I had never met people as happy. No, my father also has the same content nature, but my ego didn’t allow me to see it. Working in the gurdawara everyday also had an affect on me. Sitting on the floor in the langar hall, it sounds cheesy and cliché, but I have never felt so good.

However I am so weak, and my ego so inflated, that even now I continue to sin. My sins are worse now, for I know now that I am doing wrong. When I shave my face, the reflection in the mirror looks ugly. I find that naam simran is very good for helping me make the right decisions, and maybe I will eventually do what is good for me.

Sorry to digress, but the problem I now have with my parents concerning religion, is I do not wish to instil false hope with in them. I stopped shaving, and started going to the gurdawara, but the day after my family pointed out they had noticed, I shaved again. I’m not sure why I did this, perhaps it is my ego, am I too proud to admit that they were right? But I also do fall into bad habits. Especially when I am with my friends; they all come from backgrounds where drinking and premarital relationships are not even a moral issue, although most of them would still accept me should I change, they would see me differently, it would be very difficult not to.

Once again apologies for length and digressions from the topic, but to conclude: I think the best hope that parents have is too ensure their children the right company. Meeting people of strong faith my own age, with similar lives and thus temptations as myself, gave me a respect for sikhi that my parents, despite their best intentions and effort, couldn’t.

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harvinder - i enjoyed reading ur story, i think the main barrier is the relationship between urself and ur father... i know myself i dont like to be taught by my parents, but anyone else im comfortable with...

sometimes parents can feel so comfortable with their children that they come accross as too overpowering.. ever tried to have a driving lesson from ur dad?? its like hell!!! lol

when u meet other people on the same level, but you dont really know them that well u can accept their views more.. i dunno why really

i think you should take things one step at a time, if you rush you have more chance of falling, concentrate on ur naam simran firstly, and everything after that will come by itself..

and i think it would be a good idea for you and ur parents to create an understandin between urselfs, i think the reason why you may shave ur dhari after ur parents notice is maybe cos ur not sure wat they are thinking, if you know that they support your decision it will be much easier for u

many childrens parents dont want them to go into sikhi, they make stupid excuses such as "ull never get married".... "u wont get a job".... or "u dont need to be religious nowadays, that was in those days"... ur lucky to have gursikh parents who can hold ur hand on this path :D

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Harvinder Ji

You story was very touching, I can relate to many things you wrote of actually. I think sometimes we are scared of admitting our parents were right, so much so that we continue to damage ourselves, this is just pure ego, and I think you have already recognised this, from what I have read.

You mentioned a very important point indeed. Sangat is so important, especially having and knowing people who are very close to Sikhi, because otherwise it is very easy to stray.

It takes skill and time to make a glass vase, but only a single blow of mere seconds to break it, it is the same with Sikhi, difficult path.

However, welcome to the forum, I hope you find something inspiring here which you can build upon and grow as a Sikh, as we all are. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


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Dear Harvinder,

Your story is indeed interesting. Yes ego is one of the most powerful of all the five forces in maya and Guru Granth Sahib Ji has numerous hymns explaining this fact.

Firstly let me say that you arer not totally overwhelmed by ego. An whay do I say that, cause you are out here in the open and discussing facts about your life without hiding much.

When I was in the 6th standard, one of our class teachers, gave a very inetersting lecture and I still remember it. (He was a science teacher).

He asked us a question.......and I repeat it for your convenience:

" Why do you think science has progressed so much vis. a vis. society during the term of human existence"

Since we could not answer the question, he went at length to explain this and in a few words the crux would be:

Scientists learn from their experiences. They dont start from scratch, They learn from their predecessors. They build upon that knowledge base. Most People start their lives from scratch. Hence society progresses albeit at a slow rate as compared to science.

I think we must make our mind understand that it has to learn from our predeccessors. It has to learn from our parents. It has to learn from our Gurus.

True that your Father in his teens (as you say), did not lead the life of a Gursikh. But then he learnt from the experience of his life and went to his Guru (Guru Granth sahib Ji) for guidance. He learnt and he modified his lifestyle. Now, his knowledge base is for you to build upon.

Starting your religious life from scracth will lead to a delay.

I think you should consider yourself blessed by God that you got guidance from your father to read Gurbaani. However reading is just the first step. First you have to read, then listen and then get the teaching inside your mind. Of course then comes the point where you implement it in your life.

So my suggestion ...Learn from your parents and build thereupon.

As far as ego is concerned, let me narrate an interesting fact of my life to you.

A few months ago I became very religious. Listened to Gurbaani ...understood it ..............tried to implement it.. ......and I really enjoyed it. It met lots of beautiful people on that way. People who really gave my mind pece and calm when I communicated with them.

My eyes would be filled with tears when I used to listen to Gurbani. In my dreams I would get Gurbaani in my ears. I would wake up with Gurbani playing in my ears......And it was Ohhhh So Beautifullllllllll....I just can explain it to you.

I got this state after repeated calls from my heart to God and Guru.

Perhaps one of them was true......perhaps God took pity on this insect.

But somehere along the way, my ego got high........I started thinking wow.....i listen and understand Gurbani and I preach others....boy am I really so Good.

The result: I have to start from scratch once again. I have lost the company of people I met. I have lost the tears in my eyes. I am filled once agin with ego.....and lust............................

I dont like it one bit...............and I want to get out of this pit........

So what do I do..............

I want my mind to fall to the feat of my Lord, My Guru.....................but i find it ohh so difficult.....but i dont know why.......the forces get stronger day by day..................but hope.................cause God will take pity upon me yet agian...but I just done know when.

Moral: When you are on the path to spirtuality..........take one step forward...but when taking one step backward......................think ..........anf think hard.........................Only the lucky ones get to go even one step forward.

Hope I have bored you enough...

Epitome of Lust and Ego.

H Singh

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