CdnSikhGirl

Did you know turbans of differing styles are worn by women all over the world?? African continent many women do, Jewish women also wear a tichel which is very similar in structure (and hence same look in how it frames the face).  Historically, and outside India, women DID tie turbans of all sorts! And nobody ever thought it made them look like men. So Sikhi is not the only religion / group to tie turbans, and Sikhi definitely does not have a monopoly on it.  
While I agree certain turban styles might not look good on women, like patiala shahi... the round turban / gol dastar and dumalla (not full dumalla but the smaller one) look perfectly fine on women, and no they don't make women look like men. 
Also as you know women are barred currently from performing kirtan at darbar sahib. It has already been stated that when a female jatha will finally be approved to do so, it will be a requirement for them to tie turbans to perform kirtan there. But let me guess, you are probably against women performing kirtan too...



Sorry these below are single images showing both males and females, but you can see how many are women...

Did you know turbans of differing styles are worn by women all over the world?? African continent many women do, Jewish women also wear a tichel which is very similar in structure (and hence same look in how it frames the face).  Historically, and outside India, women DID tie turbans of all sorts! And nobody ever thought it made them look like men. So Sikhi is not the only religion / group to tie turbans, and Sikhi definitely does not have a monopoly on it.  
While I agree certain turban styles might not look good on women, like patiala shahi... the round turban / gol dastar and dumalla (not full dumalla but the smaller one) look perfectly fine on women, and no they don't make women look like men. 
Also as you know women are barred currently from performing kirtan at darbar sahib. It has already been stated that when a female jatha will finally be approved to do so, it will be a requirement for them to tie turbans to perform kirtan there. But let me guess, you are probably against women performing kirtan too...



Sorry these below are single images showing both males and females, but you can see how many are women...

Well, you will be going against several sampardas rehet maryadas, and also Sikh Rehet Maryada states it's optional so nowhere has it been discouraged for women. In fact it's been the opposite. It's in both Taksal's maryada and Nihang maryada that its required for both male and female. And also AKJ! 
Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Hukams:
35 Dastaar binaa nahee rehnaa|
(doesn't say only men, so women too are required)
"Each candidate for Baptism be made to wear kachhehra, tie hair in a topknot and cover the same with dastaar; wear Sri Sahib (i.e. Kirpan) in Gaatra (shoulder belt). Then he/she should stand with folded hands. (Rahitnama Bhai Daya Singh Ji)
Taksal Maryada:
For the respect of your hair, two turbans are to be tied, tying each layer one at a time.  There should be a small turban tied underneath and a larger one tied above this.  Women must not plait their hair and should keep their hair tied in a bun/top-knot, in order to respect your Kesh a small turban should be tied. 
The Nihang Bibian are dastaardhari, and many contend maintain the original form and discipline of the Khalsa.  Their Nitnem Gutka defines that every Gursikh man and woman (Singh and Singhni is the wording used) should have a blue keski in their hair.
 
It's fine if you personally won't marry a Singhni who ties one. You can go for a dolled up girl with makeup caked on and jewllery all over, and hairstyles (and most likely hair colour too).  But don't try to dictate what other Singhnis do or the Singhs who actually LOOK for Singhnis who tie dastars! 

Puratan paintings of Singhnis almost never show the sikh women wearing turbans. Most paintings I have looked at often show Singhnis with braided hair or sometimes with a top-knot.
That said...
Out of like a hundred paintings I looked at, I saw one where it seemed like a Singhni is wearing a dastaar boonga. It could be a prepubescent male since there is no visible breast shape in the painting however the clothing, pink salwar kameez, seem to suggest that it is a woman with her family.



This was painted in 1838 Ad.
 

Here is news story on the event...
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/canadian-forces-culture-1.3501122

She also has henna on her hands...

 

No NOT like those!!!! 
More like this...

 

 

Akal Takht Sahib would disagree...along with the Panj Pyaras I took amrit from! (have a read about women masands who had authority to initiate via charan amrit) Anyway different topic...look closely at the painting I posted. It's not hair... It's definitely a keski.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Hukams:
35 Dastaar binaa nahee rehnaa|
(doesn't say only men, so women too are required)
"Each candidate for Baptism be made to wear kachhehra, tie hair in a topknot and cover the same with dastaar; wear Sri Sahib (i.e. Kirpan) in Gaatra (shoulder belt). Then he/she should stand with folded hands. (Rahitnama Bhai Daya Singh Ji)
Taksal Maryada:
For the respect of your hair, two turbans are to be tied, tying each layer one at a time.  There should be a small turban tied underneath and a larger one tied above this.  Women must not plait their hair and should keep their hair tied in a bun/top-knot, in order to respect your Kesh a small turban should be tied. 
The Nihang Bibian are dastaardhari, and many contend maintain the original form and discipline of the Khalsa.  Their Nitnem Gutka defines that every Gursikh man and woman (Singh and Singhni is the wording used) should have a blue keski in their hair.
Okay now let's see what you have as weight on this issue!

I take it you are against Singhnis wearing turbans... That photo above you can't tell if she is Sikh or Hindu.... so much for standing out. Not only that, she appears to have a nose piercing which is a big no no after taking Amrit.  Rest of jewelry is also debatable as some sects rehet maryada even is against jewelry at all. 
Here is a historical painting showing a keski on the woman. This depiction the woman looks much more like a Sikh. Wearing bana and keski and no nose piercing and no belly showing from skimpy choli and a mountain of jewelry and makeup. Since the Gurus advocated that 'naam' is our jewelry, I find it strange that Sikh women would have been made up like painted dolls. I think this painting below is much more accurate:

That's dumalla jewelry that is different... LOL. And yes both can adorn dumalla with them!  shastars kept in their dumallas and dumalla chakars etc.  They are weapons :) 

Kaalka is a feminine name, she is one of the forms of Devi.
I am actually poking fun at him for having Kaalka as his name. I am pretty sure he's a dude.

Actually due to the fact that many confuse us with Muslims it HAS come up. I did this event last year and was asked why I converted when women are treated inferior... They assumed Sikhi was a sect of Islam. But even outside of mistaken identity we have our own issues with gender equality and I know it will come up. Because they genuinely want to know how I could covert to a religion where I would have less rights and equality than *supposedly* Christianity (if only they knew what the bible says about women)... Anyway I can't avoid it. All I can do is answer that the religion does teach equality and equal rights but not everyone practices it (due to culture influence etc) 

As part of a military event, I have gotten the Gurdwara involved to do a table / display.  We will have posters (mostly Sikh in WW1-WW2 etc. And some pamphlets on what Sikhi is.  I also have an extra kirpan, gatra, simrana, kara, kanga etc.  I will bring for the table.  
My question is, would it be a bad idea to bring a nitnem gutka? Keeping in mind the public (DND military personell and their families) will be there.  On the one hand, I worry about people handling it  but on the other hand if they can see for themselves what is contained in the banis, it goes a LONG way to understanding and seeing that Sikhi is not in any way violent etc.  (since we all know that Sikhs are often wrongly misunderstood in this area).  The one I have extra here is the Sacred Nitnem one with transliteration and English along with the Gurmukhi.  
IDERD = International Day For Elimination of Racial Discrimination

I don't think that the instruction to see every girl as a sister (or male as brother) is supposed to be literal. I think it's more that when you meet someone don't sexualize them.  Consider them 'as' you would consider a sister... That is to say get to know their personality - get to know them. Consider them as a human instead of a walking vagina. Obviously you have to find someone who you have a deep connection with and that involves getting to know someone on a deeper level than if they were literally a sister. It's an entirely different dynamic. If there is noting there then don't marry. But it is possible to do this without sexualizing them. 

I always thought Gurbani says that THIS is our chance. THIS lifetime. It's not concerned about some future lifetime... what we have here and now is our chance. Otherwise, you start over again. When you can finally attain a human body again, will you even remember? Will you feel the same drive toward spirituality? Will you waste away that life? As when you enter that life you will start again with amnesia... So don't waste this one in hopes of some future life.  
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ਆਸਾ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ਦੁਪਦੇ ॥
Āsā mėhlā 5 ḏupḏe.
Aasaa, Fifth Mehl, Du-Padas:
ਭਈ ਪਰਾਪਤਿ ਮਾਨੁਖ ਦੇਹੁਰੀਆ ॥
Bẖa▫ī parāpaṯ mānukẖ ḏehurī▫ā.
You have been blessed with this human body.
ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਮਿਲਣ ਕੀ ਇਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਰੀਆ ॥
Gobinḏ milaṇ kī ih ṯerī barī▫ā.
This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe.
ਅਵਰਿ ਕਾਜ ਤੇਰੈ ਕਿਤੈ ਨ ਕਾਮ ॥
Avar kāj ṯerai kiṯai na kām.
Other efforts are of no use to you.
ਮਿਲੁ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਭਜੁ ਕੇਵਲ ਨਾਮ ॥੧॥
Mil sāḏẖsangaṯ bẖaj keval nām. ||1||
Joining the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, vibrate and meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord. ||1||
ਸਰੰਜਾਮਿ ਲਾਗੁ ਭਵਜਲ ਤਰਨ ਕੈ ॥
Saraʼnjām lāg bẖavjal ṯaran kai.
Make the effort, and cross over the terrifying world ocean.
ਜਨਮੁ ਬ੍ਰਿਥਾ ਜਾਤ ਰੰਗਿ ਮਾਇਆ ਕੈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Janam baritha jāṯ rang mā▫i▫ā kai. ||1|| rahā▫o.
This human life is passing away in vain, in the love of Maya. ||1||Pause||
ਜਪੁ ਤਪੁ ਸੰਜਮੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਨ ਕਮਾਇਆ ॥
Jap ṯap sanjam ḏẖaram na kamā▫i▫ā.
I have not practiced meditation, penance, self-restraint or righteous living;
ਸੇਵਾ ਸਾਧ ਨ ਜਾਨਿਆ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਇਆ ॥
Sevā sāḏẖ na jāni▫ā har rā▫i▫ā.
I have not served the Holy Saints, and I do not know the Lord, my King.
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਹਮ ਨੀਚ ਕਰੰਮਾ ॥
Kaho Nānak ham nīcẖ karammā.
Says Nanak, my actions are vile and despicable;
ਸਰਣਿ ਪਰੇ ਕੀ ਰਾਖਹੁ ਸਰਮਾ ॥੨॥੨੯॥
Saraṇ pare kī rākẖo sarmā. ||2||29||
O Lord, I seek Your Sanctuary - please, preserve my honor. ||2||29||
------- ALSO -----
ਗੁਰ ਸੇਵਾ ਤੇ ਭਗਤਿ ਕਮਾਈ ॥
Gur sevā ṯe bẖagaṯ kamā▫ī.
Serving the Guru, devotional worship is practiced.
ਤਬ ਇਹ ਮਾਨਸ ਦੇਹੀ ਪਾਈ ॥
Ŧab ih mānas ḏehī pā▫ī.
Then, this human body is obtained.
ਇਸ ਦੇਹੀ ਕਉ ਸਿਮਰਹਿ ਦੇਵ ॥
Is ḏehī ka▫o simrahi ḏev.
Even the gods long for this human body.
ਸੋ ਦੇਹੀ ਭਜੁ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਸੇਵ ॥੧॥
So ḏehī bẖaj har kī sev. ||1||
So vibrate that human body, and think of serving the Lord. ||1||
ਭਜਹੁ ਗੋੁਬਿੰਦ ਭੂਲਿ ਮਤ ਜਾਹੁ ॥
Bẖajahu gobinḏ bẖūl maṯ jāhu.
Vibrate, and meditate on the Lord of the Universe, and never forget Him.
ਮਾਨਸ ਜਨਮ ਕਾ ਏਹੀ ਲਾਹੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Mānas janam kā ehī lāhu. ||1|| rahā▫o.
This is the blessed opportunity of this human incarnation. ||1||Pause||
ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਜਰਾ ਰੋਗੁ ਨਹੀ ਆਇਆ ॥
Jab lag jarā rog nahī ā▫i▫ā.
As long as the disease of old age has not come to the body,
ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਕਾਲਿ ਗ੍ਰਸੀ ਨਹੀ ਕਾਇਆ ॥
Jab lag kāl garsī nahī kā▫i▫ā.
and as long as death has not come and seized the body,
ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਬਿਕਲ ਭਈ ਨਹੀ ਬਾਨੀ ॥
Jab lag bikal bẖa▫ī nahī bānī.
and as long as your voice has not lost its power,
ਭਜਿ ਲੇਹਿ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਸਾਰਿਗਪਾਨੀ ॥੨॥
Bẖaj lehi re man sārigpānī. ||2||
O mortal being, vibrate and meditate on the Lord of the World. ||2||
ਅਬ ਨ ਭਜਸਿ ਭਜਸਿ ਕਬ ਭਾਈ ॥
Ab na bẖajas bẖajas kab bẖā▫ī.
If you do not vibrate and meditate on Him now, when will you?
ਆਵੈ ਅੰਤੁ ਨ ਭਜਿਆ ਜਾਈ ॥
Āvai anṯ na bẖaji▫ā jā▫ī.
When the end comes, you will not be able to vibrate and meditate on Him.
ਜੋ ਕਿਛੁ ਕਰਹਿ ਸੋਈ ਅਬ ਸਾਰੁ ॥
Jo kicẖẖ karahi so▫ī ab sār.
Whatever you have to do - now is the best time to do it.
ਫਿਰਿ ਪਛੁਤਾਹੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਹੁ ਪਾਰੁ ॥੩॥
Fir pathuṯāhu na pāvhu pār. ||3||
Otherwise, you shall regret and repent afterwards, and you shall not be carried across to the other side. ||3||
 

Yes becoming aware during sleep, when your body is in paralysis, and maintaining your composure during that paralysis (as opposed to panicking) is a gateway to a higher level spirituality.

...I think I am going to hurl... 

It's kind of difficult to be between us when I have blocked him. I can't see anything he posts unless someone else quotes him. 

^^^ hahaha second pic just above... wondering is he having a boy or girl?? LOL
 

^^^ hahaha second pic just above... wondering is he having a boy or girl?? LOL
 

One reason I have heard parents not allow their daughters to is that some sampardas disallow any jewellery, or makeup at all after Amrit. Your Dad might be scared you will have harder time to find a husband.  (trust me you can! I am turban wearing, no makeup though I do wear a necklace once in awhile or my gold bangles and I found an Amritdhari man who is sweetest in the world!)  Also if you still live in their house, there are other implications like not sharing food with your family if they are not Amritdhari as well, or if your parents have alcohol in the house.  Just have conversation with him when he is at home and tell him the reasons why you want this.  Maybe through soft words you can win your parents to the idea and maybe they will take it too someday because of your example!
 

It's kind of difficult to be between us when I have blocked him. I can't see anything he posts unless someone else quotes him. 

@KAuR P  A good way to start with nitnem is listen by MP3.  Then even if you are distracted you are still listening to it being recited.  There is no excuse because even someone who is busy can listen to it.  When I took amrit, the words used were, "recite or listen to recitation of..."  MP3 just makes it much easier. You can of course follow along in your nitnem gutka and recite along with it.  I specifically asked before if it was bad to listen WHILE doing something else, for example if you already have to get up extremely early for work etc.  And Panj Pyaras said that as long as you are listening or reciting it, it doesn't matter where you are of what position you are in, or what you are doing. The key is just doing it.  So if you happen to be a security guard or something (just as an example... no thats not what I do for career haha) you can listen to the MP3 nitnem at your desk or something and it's ok.  Waheguru Ji knows your intent and knows its sometimes difficult in modern world with careers like shiftwork etc.  As for rehets, make sure you know where you are taking Amrit, and what the implications are for you as a female, as there are more than one Rehet Maryada and some sampardas place extra restrictions and limitations on Bibis that the males don't have.  (for example, seeing husband as God, exclusion from certain seva etc) while the Panthic Rehet Maryada (Sikh Rehet Maryada) treats male and female the same as far as rights in Sikhi.  
 
 
 
 
 

You're preaching to the converted here, I haven't got anything against this myself. I think the point is to do some seva, if you feel someone has blocked you from doing x sewa, don't go into a loop about it, move on and find other sewa to do. Waheguru will sort these things out in due time.  
 
We discussed this before ad-naseum. Let couples find the type of partner that suits them i.e. dominant, submissive or one that believes in and practices equality. 
Don't worry about what other people's maryada says to them, chose the one that fits you (like you have) and adhere to that one. Don't look around too much. Focus on you and your partners personal journey.  

There is a much cheaper option for women which is also good for the environment and can easily be produced so that every woman and girl in India would have one at virtually pennies per person!!!
Instead of disposable pads which produce tons of waste, 
Instead of women dealing with having bloody soaked pads against their skin which leads to bacteria growth (and men thinking and calling women 'unclean')
Instead of having something feeling like diapers
No chance of infection etc at all because the blood has not yet come in contact with anything outside the body.  
One of these will last a woman several years, costs almost nothing to mould from medical grade silicone, creates NO environmental waste, is easy to use, does not leak, contains everything inside until it's removed to empty, can be rinsed, disinfected and reinserted easily, can be worn 12 hours continuously and gets rid of any need for external products!  The cost per item can be literally less than 1.00 USD maybe even less in huge runs.  Every girl in India could be given one easily! 
Obviously that man empathized with what his wife had to deal with (and all women in India) and we need MORE men like him!!!! Maybe someone should give him the idea of producing these in India...
This is the miracle item!  It resides completely internally until its removed and any fluid remains completely inside the cup.  It can't physically leak through the cup! Its impossible! 
(wearing these, nobody should have any issue with women doing seva either!)