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third generation sikhs are confused...parents fault?!


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got this from sikhnet:

Recently i have come to realise that many sikh girls like myself face too many personal battles.

I believe i have been bought up in quite a tradtional family. Tradtional being the operative word. I am talking generally now, but so many of the third generation have no clue about Sikhism.

I have many muslim and hindu friends, and they have been taught about their religion by their parents. In any predicament or situation, my muslim friends know what is right and wrong. This is not simply what their parent have told them is right and wrong but because they know from a religious standpoint.

Take for example the case of alcohol. Muslims know that they should not drink, it is wrong in their religion. Wheras myself and many of my Sikh friends and family are simply told girls don't drink. But our brothers and fathers go out drinking and come back drunk. What does this show us.

In Sikh families tradtion meanS that girls have so many more pressures than boys. Take again for example drinking alcohol, boys will go out with their friends and have a good time.If girls do the same thing they are more likely to be ridden with guilt. The words of their parents will echoin their heads. But shouldn't it be the words of Sikhism, that drinking is wrong. Many of hindu friends are know that they shouldn't drink, this is because their parents have taught them it is wrong and have led by example. Some of my hindu frinds do drink, but in each case their parents are aware, and they are encouraged to move away from the habit. Muslim girls are aware that their religion teaches not to drink and they don't.

Think about sikh weddings, it is a religious ceremony. But straight after everybody heads off to the party where there is alcohol galore. So what does that teach us? I simply do not get it. Isn't alcohol against sikhism..why have it on a wedding... a religious union? I understand why Christains have alchocol at weddings.. because it isn't againt Christianity. Mulisms don't need alcohol to celebrate.... so many Sikh men just drink, and show themselves up.

How many Sikh children know what the five K's mean?? I bet less than half the UK population of Sikh Children are aware. How many children know what Vaishaki means? To many it means a fun trip to the mela, and a fun walk with free food. Yes but ask muslim childen about ramadan or why they are fasting and they will tell you.

Many of the Sikhs of my generation are louts. They like the glory of their religion. You will see so many young people supporting khanda but not because they are proud of their relgion but because they look cool!!!

The gurdwara is another thing that grates me. How many young people actually listen. There are mobiles going off, children running around, old ladies bantering and gossiping. Pleas for money. Its like a playground. You don't get that in a mosque or church. People know what they are there for.

I mean why do we have to place money and then bow down when we go to the gurdwara? I don't undertstand. It is a silly concept with no meaning (money not bowing). When we go to the gurdwara to pray, that is what should matter. There is no place for a money box in the gurdwara... i resent bowing infront of it. What is the significace??People should make a contribution elsewhere.

Also in Sikhism thier should be no idols. But why are there so many picturs, and statues? How do we know what Guru Nanak Dev Ji looked like or any of the other gurus. Why do we have picturs of them in the gurdwara? Isn't it against the teachings????

On many occassions Sikh parents let thier sons cut their hair.... but their daughters are expected to keep it long. At a young age, i thought that the only rason girls didn't cut thier hair was becasue it would make them look like ummm 'bad girls!' We wern't actually told that Sikhs aren't supposed to tamper with thier bodies. Even if we were told this i guess we still would have been confused because we would question why does my father or brother have short hair?!!!

Sikhs in this country are confused. I forsee many of my generation moving away from a this religion because we just don't get it!!

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got this from sikhnet:

I mean why do we have to place money and then bow down when we go to the gurdwara? I don't undertstand. It is a silly concept with no meaning (money not bowing). When we go to the gurdwara to pray, that is what should matter. There is no place for a money box in the gurdwara... i resent bowing infront of it. What is the significace??People should make a contribution elsewhere.

Also in Sikhism thier should be no idols. But why are there so many picturs, and statues? How do we know what Guru Nanak Dev Ji looked like or any of the other gurus. Why do we have picturs of them in the gurdwara? Isn't it against the teachings????

you give money coz you shouldnt go to Guru Sahib empty handed, if you dont wanna give money do a few Mala and give those.

We have pictures coz we're proud of our Gurus and love them, looking at saroops of Guru can help make a personal bond, Mahaprsh once said that if you cant concentrate sit in front of Maharaji's saroop, and say your paat like you're talking to Maharaji in the saroop. We dont worship the picture, we worship what they represent. Just like a child who draws a picture of her family, when he/she takes the drawinghome her parents wont say, that doesnt look like us, put it away.

everything else you say is, I believe, quite significant and sadly true.

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  • 3 weeks later...

i personally think that in the next few generations -UK- sikhs will not know there religion at all. We will have empty gurdwaras (which is often the case now) and there will be fewer and fwere ppl keepin there KESH and even fewer taken AMRIT

Its sad to say but i think sikhi within the uk will be lost with ppl concentrating more on aspects like spending money and focusing on the materialistic things often associated with modern british/western culture.

Its a shame really

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Firstly, let’s quit with the paranoia. I don’t think Gurdware about to die out that quickly.

The sikhnet post appears to be genuine to me because I too have asked similar questions in the past. Whilst I think her questions and points are very general and can't be answered with simplified statements, (we'll just end up going round in circles), she raises some interesting points about the lack of guidance and education in our society. Maybe due to our intense focus with rituals and outer exteriors we appear to have forgotten basic sikh principles and philosophy – the foundation upon which to base our morals and values on, and hence the confusion. Or maybe we’ve just forgotten to introspect and ask ourselves why we do what we do (or don’t) before imparting our knowledge to children. I personally can’t comment upon whether Hindus/Muslims/Christians are more clued up because I see confusion all around! :)

And btw I too feel funny about bowing to the golak before my guru! Even though I understand the concept of ‘offering’ and do agree with it do you think there will ever be an alternative to this?

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About the golak thing: Placing money infront of your Satguru and then bowing is beizzati of your Satguru.You are treating your Satguru as a beggar, then you bow to money.Think about it, the money box is infront of the Satguru.Infront.You put money in it, then you bow down.That is very bad.You should not offer money to your Satguru.Why don't you people realise this.Do you think this is what Satguru Nanak Sikh did when they met Him?They must have placed money infront of Nanak Satguru, right?Hello, anybody there??I refer you to:

http://www.sikhawareness.com/sikhawareness...opic.php?t=5844

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I beg to differ with hari on this one,

the sikh-satguru relationship is very personal, as I see the satguru as a manifestation of the truth within us...

Now, in guruji's darbar I see it 2 fold:

1) we matha tayk with money because we are entering an institution that is true in every principle it stands for. It is a sovereign's court! I

history: from my understanding, religion was institutionalized by guru nanak through the dharamsaal so it was made free for all, the whole setup is like a kingdom....

1) people enter

2) bow to the sovereign of the kingdom (sabad-guru, = akaal, for us

the sabad is guru, and that guru is an emmanation of god)

3) you give a token of appreciation/respect for being taken care of by the sovereign (that is our sharda)

4) you hear divine music praising the true king

5) you get a blessing/momento from the kingdom (prashaad)

6) you hear the sovereign speak (hukamnama)

from a spiritual level, when you give money to guru ji as bheta, you are saying...."thank you guruji, for without you living in this world with money/maya wouldn't be possible".

the moment a person sees their guru as a beggar, they have already forfeited their status of a sikh.

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I beg to differ with hari on this one,

the sikh-satguru relationship is very personal, as I see the satguru as a manifestation of the truth within us...

Now, in guruji's darbar I see it 2 fold:

1) we matha tayk with money because we are entering an institution that is true in every principle it stands for. It is a sovereign's court! I

history: from my understanding, religion was institutionalized by guru nanak through the dharamsaal so it was made free for all, the whole setup is like a kingdom....

1) people enter

2) bow to the sovereign of the kingdom (sabad-guru, = akaal, for us

the sabad is guru, and that guru is an emmanation of god)

3) you give a token of appreciation/respect for being taken care of by the sovereign (that is our sharda)

4) you hear divine music praising the true king

5) you get a blessing/momento from the kingdom (prashaad)

6) you hear the sovereign speak (hukamnama)

from a spiritual level, when you give money to guru ji as bheta, you are saying...."thank you guruji, for without you living in this world with money/maya wouldn't be possible".

the moment a person sees their guru as a beggar, they have already forfeited their status of a sikh.

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daan and daswand two different ways of giving back to the community, when Baba Bidhi Chand Ji presented maharaj with the horses, he brought them to maharaj and bowed down to them and Maharaj, does that mean he worshipped the horses and Maharaj was a begger asking for Baba Bidhi Chand to bring his horses back?

The golak is infront of Maharaj and the Giani is behind does this mean that you may also be bowing to the giani implying he is your Guru and leader?

Its all about your intentions, if you feel that the money is bothering you so much from Maharajs charan then step to the side and bow your head, or just refuse to bow and say to Maharaj they know how you feel about them so why show it.

Also why cover head and take off shoes after all our love for Maharaj will not increase or decrease with extra head gear or no shoes.

We do alot of things because of eticate or however you spell it, Guru is not just our spiritual satguru, but also our King our Maharaj our leader.

But then again but like drawrof said its personal man so do what u believe maharaj wants.

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  • 1 year later...

Sangat Jeeo,

The offering placed when placing your head in front of Maharaj is given to help the running of the Gurdwara. The Gurdwara has to pay utilities, pay gyani, pay for langar, pay for hopefully a number of projects, pay for education (kirtan, Gurmukhi, santhia etc, teaching or material costs)...

Don't forget our Guru Sahibaan has representatives to collect offerings in place (although the mahant did eventually become corrupt and were replaced by teh panth/sangat).

In many of Guru Gobind singh Ji's hukumnama's Guru Ji asks for his Sikhs to bring Shaster as offering instead of money as this was a time when war was ont the horizon, proving offerings were normal place.

You pay taxes (or will pay them one day if young), this is not because your Government are beggers, it's to ensure that you contribute to the smooth running of a modern society and all the facilities and resources it has to offer. The same goes for the sikh Panth, you simply make a dontaion, it can be food for the langer, money for Gurdwara running costs, or any sort of donation, for the continuation of the Gurdwara and the service it provides.

If you cannot afford to make a contribution then you are not obliged to, Guru's ghar is open to all people.

You are not bowing to the money, you are bowing to Guru Ji's saroop/jagdi jyot, and that is where your mind and focus should be, to ask Guru Ji to take your manmat and replace it with gurmat, it is us who are the beggers at Guru ji's door. The offering is surmount to dasvandh, which all Sikhs are obliged to give.

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