kidsama

@KIRNY25 did you even visit the forum after posting?
 
I just don't understand why it's hard for sikh women to keep their hair, when just a few decades ago most sikh women did keep their hair even if they were married to mona men. Actually a few decades ago, most sikh families saw it as freaky for women to cut their hair.

I would agree, but what I found was that not pronouncing the silent grammatical indicators in Gurbani, can easily throw one off and makes learning harder. That's why I would start by focusing on starting with learning the sounds of the letters and vowel symbols with simple Panjabi sentences and words which don't have the silent symbols - to consolidate that learning first. It's also usually more easier to find someone who can help you with this too.
In my experience, this was simpler than starting with Gurbani first. And to be honest, when I wrote the OP, I mainly had Panjabi speakers in mind.
 
That being said, I think one of the best ways to progress after you've got some grasp of the script (lippi) is to jump straight into Jaap Sahib with recordings - I found the slow recitation of Giani Thakur Singh especially useful for this. It's sort of jumping straight into the deep end, but if you persevere the progression is good and the repetition within that bani helps aid learning, as does the complexity. And when doing this you don't really need to focus on the actually meaning of the words, just the correct mapping of the sounds (phonemes) with symbols (graphemes).           

In my opinion. For a complete new foreign learner (who is primarily learning for Sikhi), they should not start by learning the Punjabi language and grammar itself, but jump right into Gurbani.
They should first learn to read and write the Gurmukhi letter, and the primary sounds, which is easy. Then they can just start listening to shabads they like or gurbani online, and read alongside. After they improve and they will fast, they can start speaking alongside as well. After they can read, listen, and speak relatively well, learning what the words means is easy and the knowledge of grammar comes on its own primarily. This is a very intuitive method. All you need is consistency. 
Compare this to learning Punjabi and the grammar and the language first is quite hard, and personally I wouldn't recommend it. 

In my opinion. For a complete new foreign learner (who is primarily learning for Sikhi), they should not start by learning the Punjabi language and grammar itself, but jump right into Gurbani.
They should first learn to read and write the Gurmukhi letter, and the primary sounds, which is easy. Then they can just start listening to shabads they like or gurbani online, and read alongside. After they improve and they will fast, they can start speaking alongside as well. After they can read, listen, and speak relatively well, learning what the words means is easy and the knowledge of grammar comes on its own primarily. This is a very intuitive method. All you need is consistency. 
Compare this to learning Punjabi and the grammar and the language first is quite hard, and personally I wouldn't recommend it. 

From my understanding sikhism propagates procreation within grist jeevan but according to hindu understanding as well as Buddhist understanding it some what understood that sexual activity weakens the body and somewhat the souls state; it is said before guru gobind singh went to sach khand he was brahmcharia- a celibate. Many propagate under hindu philisophy that great spirtual power is available by remaining celibate; is there such a notion in sikhism that even within marriage one should refrain from physical relations for some periods of time such that one does not seek a child; or would you say physical relations increase our spirituality? Other then that what disruptions can promiscuity and masturbation cause spiritually? Also is there any advice on how one would curb lust in the pursuit of celibacy in the west? The east is full of celibates is there some special conditioning of the mind one can do? I find in modern society open sexual behaviour has become very normal but apart from buddhism and hinduism giving showing negativities associated with that what kind of negativies of (illnesses/rogs/dukh/diseases) occur? 3HO teaches that sexual energy is creativity energy and it is such to use it to create art and many productive things instead of using it destructively. One may see it reducing the human lifespan drastically, perhaps causing impotency at early stages of life (sterility and loss of sexuality). Or can we assert that the nature of the west is to more sexually oriented where eastern philosophy is against it.

It should be recited 32 times. I personally would advise to first just practice it everyday for about 15-20 mins untill you can recite with flow. Im sending a link of giani mehta singh ji so you may want to listen and read along for your practice. Also last two lines of 'eh bola hargobind ka suno khalsa beer fateh pao mehdaan meh pakar hath shamseer' should also be recited..
http://www.sikhnet.com/gurbani/audio/brahm-kawach
 

actually, naps during the day aren't considered good for your general overall sleeping habits. simply because it reduces your quality of sleep at night, which is far more important than your nap. so really speaking, if we're talking about sleeping little, you're better off doing 6 hours a night rather than 3 hours at night and 3 hours in the afternoon.

The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Confucius


Ishwar Singh, Ta.

Currently watching Journey to the West (1996) series online with English subtitles.Story about the Monkey King and friends protecting a monk on his quest to retrieve Buddhist sutras. What about you guys?

 
 

Found this on SS, thought it would be good to share, and make 'many' peoples lives, that little bit easier, lol. On a serious note, many of us become complacement and unappreciative from time to time, taking many things for granted, so it is good to reflect on our actions towards others (namely family) from time to time...

1. Respect the opinion of your wife and show you are listening and value her suggestions.
2. Don't be moody. Your tone and attitude matter sometimes more than the words.
3. Smile. You don't need a reason, just smile.
4. Avoid anger and avoid speaking roughly or rudely.
5. Give surprises and gifts.
6. Love is broken with harsh words and strengthened by sweet ones.
7. Pay compliments to your wife. Express your appreciation to her.
8. Break the routine every once in a while.
9. Do amrit-vela as well as nitnem or sehaj paath or some bani together everyday. Guaranteed that reading bani together will make your love stronger.
10. Help in the house.
11. Pay attention in raising the children. It is your responsibility too.
12. Don't leave the small problems unsolved or ignored. They will grow otherwise.
13. Eat meals together.
14. Keep her informed about your plans. Consult her on major decisions (personal and family). Do not surprise her on these matters
15. Don't walk away and leave home during arguments. Try to resolve the issue before ending the day.
16. Do not resort to silence when unhappy.
17. Don't dwell on past mistakes or fights. Forgive and forget.
18. Never threaten divorce or separation. Never say you regret having entered the marriage.
19. Don't admonish and criticise your wife in public. Don't tolerate or participate in her insult (joking or otherwise) in public.
20. In front of her family and friends, show her respect and show you value her.
21. Don't reveal your marriage's or your wife's secrets and private details to anyone.
22. Say Fateh to your wife when you greet her upon coming home or meeting her in general. Remember that she is also a Gursikh and deserves the respect associated with that position.
23. Walk on the path of Sikhi together. This means, seva, sangat, simran, kirtan, yatra (this last one is often neglected but is a very good exercise in building marriage relationships).
24. Don't be inflexible. Look for compromise.
25. Understand you are not always right. Be willing to apologise.
26. Physically be delicate with her. Do not be physically aggressive or imposing.
27. Respect your wife's family and encourage her to do the same.
28. Show that you are interested in what she is interested in (hobbies, pass times, etc.)
29. Don't seek marital advice openly. If you wish to have advice, take it only from someone you trust, and is capable of advising properly.
30. Show concern for her health and do not ever put it at risk.
31. Be there for her during difficult times and be sure she knows you are there to listen to her.
32. Share your own feelings with her regularly.
33. Be fragile when dealing with her weaknesses. Do not press the issue.
34. Have good intentions in your heart for your wife. Wish the best for her because her success is yours as well.
35. Speak politely and show courtesy to your wife. Open doors, help carry heavy objects, arrange for her to sit or rest when she is tired.
36. If your wife says or does something minor that you did not like, ignore it.
37. During pregnancy and during her menstruation period, be sure to be even more considerate and patient than usual.
38. Never try to impose upon her how great you are due to your education or job, etc. Do not belittle her level of education or job.
39. Don't say or try to show that your earning income or bringing food is a favour to her. Recognise that only God is the giver.
40. Never betray your wife's trust through words or deeds. All other women are mothers, sisters or daughters.
41. Don't give her the opportunity to think that your love or regard for her is any less than her love and regard for you.

There are many non Sikhs (non Indian background) who are interested in Sikhi, but don't know where to get started. They want to learn Gurmukhi / punjabi but I would imagine that's really challenging without Sharda and deep love. The motivation needs to be high. So I think they can start by listening to Bani with English translation, although translation doesn't really do justice, but something they can grasp, maybe sing along  to some shabads and kirtan and learn the main themes and the message, and hopefully Guru sahib will do Kirpa from there. 
So which bani or kirtan or shabad would you recommend. If possible give video link (with English subtitles of course) so I can pass this along. 

LUST

LUST or Kam is one of the 5 vikars .( kam,krodh,lobh,moh,hankar)

This whole topic applies to you only if you want to become a true sikh , if not ,ts ok do whatever you want . this is the reality . now read this :

Definition:-Lust is a feeling that is promoted by your mind to taste the bodily pleasures through your eyes, etc and your 10 "indrias". indrias means organs .
which are:
5 sense organs -
eyes,
ears,
nose,
tongue,
skin ,

5 working organs or "karm" indre
tongue
hands
feet
penis
anus

note:i m gonna be explicit , pardon me if some one is offended. this is a very sophisticated topic that is often neglected .

now when you have lust all of these your organs are involved .
your eyes see the bad things , then ur whole organs respond according to that and you know how they respond .

so in simple words lust means looking at girls or boys with bad feelings in ur mind and then physical touching and relationship to satisfy you r hunger .

In sikhism , Lust is strictly forbidden , .

love
about love i do not know that much . love is just showing how much you appreciate otyhre people and how u long to meet them or talk to them or live with them .
now love i think is a pure feeling . because you love ur mother,father,brother,sister,cousins,uncles,aunts,pets and GURU ji .
so love is not bad .
but if u say that i love a girl and if u do not think of that girl as ur sister then that is not love because then that becomes ur lust.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji says
" rehni rahe soi sikh mera oh sahib main uska chera
rehit bina neh sikh kahave rehit bina dar chota khave "

meaning :the person who follows my rehit or maryada is my sikh and who does not he has no right to call him a sikh

"rehit pyari mujko sikh pyara nahe"
meaning: guru ji loves sikh's rehat more that the sikh himself

Guru Arjan Den Ji says:
" par triya roop na dekhe netra "
meaning : your eyes should not see the lady who is not your wife "


" eka nari jati hoye par nari dhee bhain vakhane "

"dekh praayiaan changiaan maavaan dheaan bhaina jaane "
meaning: if u see beauti ful faces , those who r of ur age consider them as ur sisters , those who are elder that u consider themas ur mothers and those r very younger than u cosider them as ur daughters .

there r a thousands other tuks from gurbani condemning lust .

so there is no chance u can love a girl before marriage .

And it does not mean that once u r married u can have sex with ur wife 24 hrs . there also u have to control yourself . you have to be jati in your marriage . that's what is called nirlepta in maya .

because when semen comes out your body it takes out a lot of energy and other things that r necessary for advancing in spiritual stages and bhakti .
now here is how u can be jati in ur marriage life :
i would like to give a sakhi from the life of baba nand singh ji .
once baba ji asked a devotee to be jati in his marriage life and upon asking he asked how? then baba ji told him the method .
he said that you can have *** once in a year . if u r still not able to control urself then do it every six months . if still not able to control urself do it once in a month only . if still not able to control urself do it only once in a week on every tuesday night from 11 pm - 1 am . and then the next morning do kesi ishnan.
and if u still not control urself then u r not a sikh and it means u r engrossed in lust . "

u c this is lust . u eveb have to control it once u become married.
lust is a very dangerous thing and be careful from it because it can detroy ur years of hardwork and simran in less than a blink of the eye .it takes away everything from you .
only guru ji can save us from this lust and no on e else can .

The age you have mentioned was quite young that you took amrit and maybe it was peer pressure you had at the time that made you break amrit at the time but whats done is done and its history now.
 
Hopefully now you should be building rehat like doing panj banis nitnem,trying to wake up at amritvela at later stages etc and do ardas if you want for breaking amrit as you was quite young at the time when it happened.
 
You can when you feel ready to go infront of panj pyare for pesh and take amrit again and follow what the panj pyare will say but do this only when you feel up to it or ready.
 
Daas has not taken amrit yet but i hoping to take it one day when that is i am not sure at the moment. But luckly Guru Sahib Ji has done kirpa on daas with doing nitnem banis and other paaths as it was a long task to learn them at the time a few years ago.
 
Try to avoid thinking about consequences as it will just create a lot of negative waves around you so just try to think positive now by doing as much paath simran jaap as you can.
 
I have known a few people who have taken amrit and broken it but that sort of stuff is not something i am gonna say on here unless you want to send me a private message on here.
 
 
 
 

Dass Ji. I wanted to ask you a question. When I was in India at around 9 or 10 years of age, I took amrit. I broke it couple of years later slowly after coming to USA, took my kirpan off, stopped wearing kachera, and at 14 cut my hair. 
Should I be preparing myself to take amrit again? are there consequences of breaking amrit? please give me your insight. 

Daas is glad to help. The timing i wrote was because thats where in the track the katha of the mentioned shabad is done.
 
Gyani thakur singh does very good katha as i learned many things from his katha and about bani, nitnem etc.
 
Thats really good veer ji that you are keeping kesh and doing jaap of this shabad you are in the right direction.
 
You are the almost the same age as i was when i started this shabad. So you are in right paath with what you have mentioned.
 
So you are based in USA i would love to go there one day as i have only been to Canada as i live in England London lol.

wow thank you for noting the time down. I love Giani Thakur Singh, he's so direct and funny, and very practical. I heard that katha just 2 days ago. I will watch the other ones. 
I first heard heard this shabad when I was little in India. We had a sant at our house, I don't remember who, but I think after that we started doing this shabad every now and then. I feel off sikhi slowly and gradually after I moved to america, I was 10 then. I cut my hair at around 14 age. Now I am 20, about to be 21. Over the past couple years with god's grace I had kirpa, and I feel like the path I did when I was little "came through" lol, and got me through some tough time and very organically pulled me back towards my guru. I feel blessed. Keeping my kesh now obviously and just reading more and more bani and doing this jap. 
 

wow thank you for noting the time down. I love Giani Thakur Singh, he's so direct and funny, and very practical. I heard that katha just 2 days ago. I will watch the other ones. 
I first heard heard this shabad when I was little in India. We had a sant at our house, I don't remember who, but I think after that we started doing this shabad every now and then. I feel off sikhi slowly and gradually after I moved to america, I was 10 then. I cut my hair at around 14 age. Now I am 20, about to be 21. Over the past couple years with god's grace I had kirpa, and I feel like the path I did when I was little "came through" lol, and got me through some tough time and very organically pulled me back towards my guru. I feel blessed. Keeping my kesh now obviously and just reading more and more bani and doing this jap. 
 

Veer ji here is a few katha tracks i have found on the shabad
 
Sant Gurbachan Singh Ji Bhindrawale at
9:24
http://www.gurmatveechar.com/audios/Katha/01_Puratan_Katha/Sant_Gurbachan_Singh_(Bhindran_wale)/Guru_Granth_Sahib_Larivaar_Katha/Volume_03_Ang_0151-0249/52--Sant.Gurbachan.Singh.(Bhindran.wale)--Raag.Gourhi--Ang.201.mp3
 
Sant Avtar Singh Ji at 7:45
http://www.gurmatveechar.com/audios/Katha/02_Present_Day_Katha/Bhai_Avtar_Singh_(Badni_Kalan_wale)/Katha_Sri_Guru_Granth_Sahib_Ji/CD_05/63--Bhai.Avtar.Singh--Katha.Guru.Granth.Sahib.Ji--Ang.201%2CLine.06.mp3
 
Sant Jagjit Singh Ji Harkowale at
27:32
http://www.gurmatveechar.com/audios/Katha/02_Present_Day_Katha/Baba_Jagjit_Singh_(Harkhowal_wale)/Sri_Guru_Granth_Sahib_Ji_Di_Lareevar_Katha/Baba.Jagjit.Singh.(Harkhowal.wale)--0109a.Sri.Guru.Granth.Sahib.Katha.-.Ang.0199.to.0202.mp3
Gyani Thakur Singh at 20:10
http://gurbaniupdesh.org/multimedia/04-Katha/13-Giani Thakur Singh Ji (Patiala Wale)/Katha Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji/CD04(Ang0140-0202)/0313-Ang-0200-Pankti-19.mp3
 
 

yes if you have time that would be helpful

most definitely. This shabad saved me 3 times. But now I am doing jap of this shabad I will add the title and rahaoo as it only takes a sec extra. thanks. 

most definitely. This shabad saved me 3 times. But now I am doing jap of this shabad I will add the title and rahaoo as it only takes a sec extra. thanks. 

thanks. This morning I did jap with reading the title and it made a difference. I was more focused after every recitation. Everytime I read the title it pulled my focus back. I will start saying rahao as well. 

Pen Jee, 
Truth of Gurbani should be shared whenever, wherever needed.
Just as the Sun gives it sunlight equally to all creatures, so if the bats prefer the darkness.... It is their problem, for the light is there for all.
Similarly Gurmat/Gurbani is open there for the benefit of all, but, what can the poor jeeva do if accordingly to the laws of Nature, Waheguru has kept some particular jeevas stuck in the mayavee creation.
I myself never condem anybody, if they are unaware of the Supreme Truth of Waheguru Akal Purukh.
It is in nobody's hands to believe or not believe in Waheguru...He Himself is the one pulling the strings in one direction or in the other.
Having said that, I would also add that, whosoever is on the path of Sikhee, is a sign of utter grace from His side, for which we should be deeply thankful with each breath.
That's it.
Stay blessed.
SSA.